Abandoned at Easter!!!

[TheFunDog]

Abandoned at Easter!!!

Dp and I usually have a little break in the uk at easter with his 2dc and their families.
Last week the break was canceled by the company, so I thought we might find another break. But his 2 dc have decided to meet up somewhere else together and I thought that's OK, me and my dp can do our own thing...... but dp has now decided to join his dc and im left on my own for easter.

Aibu to feel abandoned??

How very rude and thoughtless. What's he saying about it? You have asked him OP, I take it.

It's 4 days. I can't think of any adult who couldn't happily spend 4 days by themselves. The OP's husband wants to see his children and grandchildren - I'd say she's dodged a bullet and should make the most of it!

🤣

i can see lots of posters getting hung on the word “abandoned”. I’m sure OP can manage a few days alone but to me use of that word is just conveying a feeling of being left out. And she has. It looks like she has been left out of her DP’s decision making process and just told that is he is going to go to be with his DC. I do think it is unkind if there is no other conversation alongside that statement as they are in a relationship and their Easter is usually spent together. Surely the normal thing would be to give some kind of explanation of why you are planning to do that and show awareness of how it will impact the other person and discuss. I suspect there may be more context to this. You should be able to talk to your partner about things so maybe that is something to reflect on re your relationship more generally. I hope you are ok. Best wishes.

They usually all go away. OP, partner and his adult children now OP is being left out whilst they’re all going away still all be it somewhere else. Completely out of order.

I think four days on your own when you were expecting to be with DP and family and were no doubt looking forward to it would be tough for anyone.
Obviously the OP is an adult so wont starve or fall apart on her own but I think being upset at being left out is perfectly understandable.

What has your partner said about it, OP? Why can't you go too?

Am I missing something or why are you not going as well? And why did no one talk about it with you? That's appalling! My partner of 11 years and I were both divorced with 2 kids each when we met. Three are now adults. We would never make plans like this without discussing it first. I am equally shocked that some people on here seem to find this acceptable. I think you need to have a serious word about communication. It's not about doing everything together, we certainly don't, but decisions like this aren't made unilaterally.

this!

So rude. How long have you been together?

I think thats mean. Why weren't you invited? I would feel left out too

That's not the point, she was left out of the plans and conversations. That's not how a relationship works. My partner of 11 years have two kids each, three of them are adults. We often do things separately with our kids, but it is discussed first and a four day trip isn't just planned unilaterally. The lack of communication and consideration is appalling.

Its a bit late now, but I'd have booked myself a long weekend break and enjoyed myself, without worrying about what anyone else wanted to do.

Has he said you’re not welcome? Seems odd if you always do it. If he’s now gone just chill and when he gets back ask him why you didn’t get included as usual. Any issues in the relationship that he wanted time away from you?

So he’s gone but you don’t say why you haven’t?!? Now OP has, of course, disappeared … pointless thread 🙄

😁

I don’t think Easter is a big deal. I would enjoy my own time.

But it's not about the time or Easter is it?

It's about the way the OP's partner (& his family?) have behaved towards her.

As a Christian I think Easter is the more important festival

Why can’t you go too?

Did your dp regularly go away with his dc and grandchildren before you got together?

I'm wondering if, especially if his children were already adults when the relationship started, they would have preferred it to be family only but your dp invited you along and they didn't know how to object without seeming rude or upsetting you and their dad.

They might like you and get along with you but not see you as family and so have seen this as a chance to book a family only holiday.

That's bound to be hurtful but if this is the case, I don't think they're doing anything wrong.

So why didn't your DP invite you as well?

Thanks for all your input, very interesting reading.
The main issue for me is that there has been a big falling out between me and DP family (not my doing) and this little holiday was me trying to reconcile our relationships mainly for the sake of my DP....
so i was a little apprehensive but willing to do my best and get things back on track....
We have a long term relationship...
In the early years he was happy to use me so he didn't have to spend time with them too much, but as they've got older and easier to be with and have children he enjoys being with them more.

Im glad he sees his kids, it's just this weekend our plans were suddenly changed, and he doesn't seem to get how I'm feeling about it all.

Another thread which is pointless without the context.

yes, if you were planning to go away with DP and his children, and they've now organised another break without you, this is hurtful.

But what were the missing steps before you got to that point? DP announced he was going away with his children and you weren't invited?

Just read your update so the context is very different ! I would just enjoy three days of doing your own thing .

The big falling out feels somewhat pertinent