Would he really be that stupid?

[Adviceseeker35]

My husband separated from me a couple of months ago but we still live in the same house, while he decides what happens next. He's just had a card delivered to the house that's an anniversary card saying "let's be weird together forever". The envelope arrived in a right state which is why I could see it. It's blank for him to fill out. Our anniversary isn't for ages. Despite everything I've always said that he wouldn't cheat on me and I said seeing someone while we were still in the same house was a line that couldn't be cross. Would be really he that stupid to send a card to the house?

There was a chance he'd take you back?

Well isnt that simply marvelous of him.

“There’s a chance he’ll take you back”??! What the fuck?

He can go in the bin! Who is he to decide he wants a trial separation whilst living together? Presumably he’ll test out the dating market and then decide if he wants you. Knob! Yes, I think he is stupid enough to order a card for someone else. A lot of the men I work with are incredibly lazy!

He is just trash. Please don't try to tie yourself in knots proving to yourself he isn't. Any way this goes he will be sleeping with other women, he's told you he “needs" this (massive eye roll).
He lies to you about other women because that is what makes his life easiest. A nice comfy home with you while he figures out how to jump ship to something better as painlessly as possible (for him.)

There’s a chance and wait 4-6 months

what a prick. There would be no 4-6 month wait (whilst he tries out his new woman) - he’d be dumped immediately.

prize cunt

Thank you everyone. It's hard to hear but sometimes it's best to hear hard things from people you don't know as they can be more objective. And I think I need that.

Did he respond yo your text asking about the card?

• to your text

Said it was a mistake. He ordered something else.

His needs appear to be that he wants to shag other people.

"there was a chance he'd take me back" How very magnanimous of him. There really is only one thing to do in that situation and that is take charge, make that decision yourself, and tell him to get stuffed.

Do you believe this? What do you want to do OP? You seem like me when I was with my ex. You follow your heart not your head. Am I right?

He doesn’t want to be with you and it’s highly likely he’s cheating on you. Your head already knows what’s going on. Don’t let him continue to disrespect you. He should be moving out!

Yeah, that’s a big fat lie.

Why are you allowing this situation to continue? Make the decision for him and declare yourself single. Do you want the chance to get back with him and why?

I really hope you're not doing any cleaning, cooking etc for him while he's considering whether to take you back. What an arsehole he is.

And what about how you feel?

what’s that saying - don’t make someone your priority when you’re only one option to them?

just that statement from him and I think hes a prick.

most men don’t leave until they’ve got their next cosy bedmate lined up and waiting sorry OP.

I agree with PP he’s maybe waiting for OP to leave her other half before jumping ship.

push him overboard now.

Jesus Christ, he's a snake. You need to kick him out and exercise some self respect.

@Adviceseeker35 - why are you letting him dangle you on a string? Why have you given him all the power? Stop waiting for him to decide he wants you after all. Stop letting him call all the shots. You have to vakue yourself more highly than this. Make some of your own decisions. Get him gone.

Obviously a lie, OP!

P.s. ChatGPT is a great therapist for helping understand behaviours and advise on how to manage next steps

Totally agree. How come he gets to ‘decide’. Gather up your dignity and get rid. He’s cheating and hedging his bets

Which is not true.

Sorry OP

Just take care of yourself @Adviceseeker35 , you’ve been through enough already.
It hurts but you might find it strangely liberating to decide to call it quits and put down the heavy weight that carrying around uncertainty and living in limbo is.
Even a difficult decision is still a decision and allows you to plan for the future without a question mark hovering over his participation in it any longer.
He’s more than had his chance and ample time to sort himself out.
No explanation required or owed to him, he hasn’t respected you by providing you with one, ‘unmet needs’ is a pile of crap, used as an excuse for all manner of shit human behaviour. Nobody can ever meet all of any other person’s needs and shouldn’t be expected to, unless you want guaranteed disappointment.
As adults it is our own responsibility to meet our needs in life. In relationships we support our partners and help them meet theirs. Help them do it for themselves, not do it for them. We’ve all got unmet needs, as adults life’s challenge is about finding solutions to that ourselves, without expecting others to do it for us.
You’re not to blame for his decisions, he’s blaming you to excuse himself and his inadequacy as a husband.
The only unmet need I can see you could actually provide, in response to his complaints, is to administer a huge kick up his entitled arse. He needs that really badly.

100% and been doing it a while at least if it’s their anniversary. Also in my opinion men don’t leave their marriage unless they have something else lined up

sorry OP get your ducks in a row and hold your cards close to your chest.

Also he’s trying to keep you hanging on for six months so if things don’t work out he’s got someone to fall back on.

An erect penis does not have a conscious

Well then if he wants an open marriage let him fuck right off !!!, cause I’m guessing that’s not what you want .
He wants to wait 4/6 months while he decides what to do !!!! WHAT did I just read ..
Anyone who suggests an open marriage to a partner who is not on board with it will 110 % cheat ..
OP you’ll be a lot happier without him .