We all know that one person that always orders the most expensive thing when someone else is paying, but… extreme content 😂

[AliceR1]

What is it with men and being totally reckless with money? Guy and I, known each for about 5 years, went exclusive about six months ago. It’s his birthday next week so I said I’d take him out for a birthday meal out. He picked the place so I knew it wasn’t going to be budget but what I wasn’t planning on was him ordering a £100 bottle of wine followed by more by the glass. I wasn’t drinking as I drove there and back. He knows I’m not in the poor category but that’s essentially down to extreme budgeting, which he’s well aware of. It was a nice mea out, totally ruined by me still internally stewing over the fact that I picked up a tab the equivalent of a monthly food budget for me and two kids and totally put me off sticking around him for a moment longer. We do get on but this really narked me.

You're 23! How old is this Adonis you've been subsidising?

Shame on you.

I think she means her BMI is 23.

What a pisstake. His behaviour is sooo unattractive.

You’ve definitely had a lucky escape, glad this was your wake up call. This is the kind of man who would have drained you financially and emotionally.

Just another example of how IMO it’s easier for men who are even below average to find a decent woman than the other way around. And even when they’re punching they still don’t value the woman they’ve somehow managed to get.

It is men like this who often twist things and go on about how “nice guys” like them get overlooked for not being rich enough or being “too nice” 🙄

@TalkToTheHand123who Cares what you think your rude

BMI 23 lol, commenting on a post that he’d have to be 7ft 5 not to be obese 😂

Shitty as his behaviour was you can’t blame another person for your expectations being inaccurate - especially if you were not brave enough to call him out on his behaviour at the time. After all he ordered in front of the waiting staff, he drank in front of you all, and staggered out in front of you all. How do you justify letting an Ahole of a bloke walk all over you..

Being in the minority here firmly saying why did you only pay the amount you budgeted for and not make him pay the balance at the time in the restaurant when the exorbitant bill arrived only means that the majority of replies are from spineless wimps as well

I was aware of the food. That was my treat. I’m not a drinker, and really didn’t think he was an inconsiderate arse that picks the most expensive plonk on the wine list. We now know he is, and that’s why he’s an ex, who probably still doesn’t understand where he went wrong!

And you are a single mum to boot. What an AH.

I'd chuck him too.

Deleted- somehow my post wound up on the wrong thread

The price of the wine is just rude
but to drink more than a bottle of wine when the other person isn’t drinking is really terrible and alcoholic binge drinker vibes I don’t think this man cares about you and he is a user. I couldn’t have sex with him again in your shoes.

Eh?

Pretty sure he’s not perimenopausal. I am, and that’s my tolerance to his dickhead behaviour is so low.

I won’t. I literally cannot remember mentally checking out so decisively and quickly, ever. And we’re like miles past the ‘no return’ sign.

Honestly money well spent to have had the lightbulb moment and to have binned this fat disgusting arsehole of an excuse for a man. Don’t beat yourself up. He’s a c@nt.

Many of us are caught out this way.

My late husband and I went down south to visit his son and DIL. Given my DH's disabilities, we didn't stay with them but booked accessible accommodation.

We did have a home-cooked meal at DSS's.

DH asked DSS to suggest a restaurant where DH would treat us all to a meal. It turned out to be quite an expensive place...

I was the designated driver, so not drinking. DH sent me up to the bar/till with his card (I had a POA card for him).

Just as I got there, I saw DSS getting to the bar just before me. "Aw, that's lovely. He's treating his dad," I thought.

Nope. He was ordering yet another very expensive bottle of wine (without checking with his dad, I might add).

I can't remember what the bill was, but I remember that the barman/waiter was clearly very worried since it was obvious that the person paying was the one visibly disabled elderly gentleman in the party.

I reassured the barman and paid plus tipped him, but inwardly I was seething. The kindest explanation that I can think of is that DSS was a journalist and far too used to putting food and drink on an expenses account.

Before anyone asks, DH and I normally split bills but latterly he took on all expenses related to his kids since he realised that I was being expected to give but not to receive all the time.

That’s is awful… and ‘being used to putting stuff on a business account’ is absolute no excuse - no chance I’d be buying into this. Same as no-one would take the phrase ‘make yourself at home’ literally, and when I take my kids out and say ‘have whatever you want’ they’re well-mannered enough not to take that literally. Some people are simply cznts and no excuse in the world will make their behaviour valid, or acceptable.

Or maybe hes sick of you being a tight arse all the time as you've pointed out you are more than once

My one word reply to that "Wow"

Here's the attention you ordered.

Resenting being conned into paying for a bottle of wine that was clearly outside the OP's budget is not being a 'tight arse', particularly when it's clear that there's zero chance of reciprocation from the profligate party.

How long has he been using you like this? Even in smaller ways? Do not ignore red flags just because "at least it's a man". This won't be the first time he has disrespected you, and it won't be the last, if you let him behave like this.

He’s reckless with money -,yours and his own. Say you’re really disappointed and feel he took advantage of your kind offer and you were in shock at the bill and ask him to pay the £100 for the wine so you can take the kids out over Easter. Send the bank details in the text so he has no excuse to delay. Get the money in the bank and dump him. There’s no way you can tie yourself and your kids to this rollercoaster 🎢 of hell!!

No, IDK anyone who does this, to such an extent...one friend of a friend is a bit of a CF (ordering more than others when they aren’t paying) and I have little to do with them as result.

He sounds awful. I wouldn’t continue this relationship personally. Deal breaker.

The worst was him guzzling more than a bottle of (expensive) wine while you were driving.

Exactly - 6-7 glasses of wine over 90 minutes is a huge amount to knock back.

If he managed to put that much alcohol away over such a short amount of time and didn’t seem drunk, he must be an alcoholic.