We all know that one person that always orders the most expensive thing when someone else is paying, but… extreme content 😂

[AliceR1]

What is it with men and being totally reckless with money? Guy and I, known each for about 5 years, went exclusive about six months ago. It’s his birthday next week so I said I’d take him out for a birthday meal out. He picked the place so I knew it wasn’t going to be budget but what I wasn’t planning on was him ordering a £100 bottle of wine followed by more by the glass. I wasn’t drinking as I drove there and back. He knows I’m not in the poor category but that’s essentially down to extreme budgeting, which he’s well aware of. It was a nice mea out, totally ruined by me still internally stewing over the fact that I picked up a tab the equivalent of a monthly food budget for me and two kids and totally put me off sticking around him for a moment longer. We do get on but this really narked me.

Many moons ago,I was a skint single parent

I saved up so I could take my dc out for a meal

My then boyfriend took it upon himself to tag along-fair enough,more the merrier

We all chose cheapy mains with a soft drink each as thats what id budgeted for

He ordered himself a steak,a pint (which turned into 4) and a few sides

His face when I stood up to pay for my tab but not his meal/booze

And he couldn't afford to pay for it-he was a dole sponger-this came to about 2 weeks benefit money for him

I got the kids together and left-not my problem

He had tried to pull the same stunt as he thought id pay his way so went a bit mental with his order

I think his mother bailed him out and hes still slagging me off over this meal (and his dumping) over 20 years later

I can hear his whining to this day

'But you invited meeeeee!its for you to paaaayyyy!i wouldnt have come if id known id have to pay for myssseeelllfff'

Nope

Please send him this an update

Nope - I’ve already mentioned to someone further up the thread, that we take turns paying for food out, and he pays for drinks out BUT I’d rarely have more than a small red - and always ask for house. I’m definitely in credit for drinks purchased for nights in. So no, he hasn’t pre-paid.

Nope! I’ve cut my loses. Just the ‘wow’ few hours ago.

100% this, and most adults wouldn’t even drink that much over a dinner (a bottle plus glasses afterwards) esp if the other person wasn’t drinking.

Yeah I read the rest of the thread now about not paying for your kids camp as it was so expensive and the diffuser.
So hes not prepaid at all, like as if he had been showering you with champagne filled nights and you are now returning the favour.
Hes basically taken the piss, he may not have even realised at the time just happily ordered what he wanted as his 'treat', which it sounds like he didn't really think about it, which is just as bad as shows a complete lack of thought and understanding, social skills and empathy. Which in itself can put you off a person, which it seems to have done.

So invested in if he responds more or pays back. NEVER message him again.

I liked your restaurant review ha wouldn't put me off the restaurant but definitely men...not that I need help there.

I honestly don't know what I'd have done. I really, really wouldn't have wanted to spunk £100 on a bottle of wine for anyone, in any circumstances - that includes myself (in the days when I drank wine) - but how awkward and embarrassing to raise it in the restaurant, plus if he'd already ordered it by the time you realised, I doubt you'd have been able to send it back.

I suppose an option might have been to say 'Look, Bob, the Chateauneuf du Pape is a bit beyond my budget to be honest with you, would you mind going halves on it?'

The lesson is not to take this CF out for dinner again, and in future keep control of what's being ordered, and have the 'beyond my budget' conversation at the pre-ordering stage. But easy to say this after the fact!

Awful that a friend took advantage of you like that.

Brilliant review @AliceR1

You were thoughtful and the waste of space (now ex) behaved disingenuously with his wine ordering.

Good on you for making that clear then getting rid of him.

‘Bob, the Chateauneuf du Pape is a bit beyond my budget to be honest’… dying 🤣😂

Have you told him the relationship is over? Or are you waiting for him to follow up to land that announcement?

cheeky fuckery from him! from your follow up posts looks like you missed red flags he’s a cheeky fucker, at best.

Would have a difficult conversation, say the wine was way more than you can afford or had expected and ask him for the money. If he pays, dump him after it’s in your account.

If he refuses, dump him!

Or simply dump him.

Ooooh I thought that was given, I didn’t spell out the au-revoir but it’s crystal clear from my message to him that he has massively overstepped, the ‘wow’ reply I take it as he has nothing else to reply with, refund, or repair, so I consider it dealt with, if he gets in touch I will clarify and remove all doubt. I found his entire persona totally repulsive. No going back, refund or not.

Glad I have cheered you up 😆

Let's face it, you're probably better off financially in the long-run by dumping the arse.

Wow. That is money you could have spent on your kids. I’d be binning him off pronto.

Without a doubt.

I would dump him by text and tell him why. Out of embarrassment, he might offer to reimburse you so that would be a win and getting rid would be a win.

Like me, trying to see the good in people…. but last night is seen as short term win, in the spirit of ‘at least I got xyz out of it’.

He replied, ‘wow’ or you did?

@AliceR1 you lost me at "we've been together for five years, exclusive for six months"

Then the concept of somone who necks a whole bottle of wine, plus glasses in a sitting. Greedy and yuk.

We have ordered £100 wines, occasionally, when out with friends. The person who orders pays. It would only be done if there was a wine buff like DH. Wealthy circles and it isn't done often and DH wouldn't do it just with me because my half of the bottle wouldn't be appreciated because I'm happy with Tesco's Finest or a lemonade.

Glad you have kicked him into touch. Rude bastard.

What an absolute CF. At least you know now exactly what he’s like before you spend more time / energy on the relationship.
Wow is such a shit response. Wonder if you’ll hear anything else?
Whilst it’s blooming annoying to have all that money wasted, it is good that you can see what he’s actually like.

Being widowed and a single parent is really tough going. Sending you all the best, your children have got a great role model - a mum who doesn’t put up with shit.

He did. I told him that I offered a meal out, not for him to spunk 2 weeks worth of family food budget on exquisite wines with me totally unaware of what he ordered for himself - he knew I wasn’t drinking…. He just replied ‘wow!’

id drop him a msg, ‘just a quick reminder of my account details. Took you out for dinner, not drinks. Pay me back by the end of today, it’s the Easter hols’ who cares what the fuckin chancer thinks. Get your money back. No use waiting for your birthday like others are suggesting because you don’t want expensive gestures you just want your own hard saved cash back- today.

He’s not just a piss taker OP, he’s an arrogant, insecure & nasty twat. He’s made a point because of your extreme budgeting. Don’t go near him again. What a dreadful person!