Dating Thread 56 - Love is in the Air

[BoxOfCats]

The Rules:
-The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating
-Develop a thick skin
-Do not invest emotionally too soon
-It’s all BS until it actually happens
-Trust your gut instinct
-People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault
-Know your worth
-If it's not fun, stop
-Loo update is mandatory
-No dating the thread
-Treat others as you'd like to be treated
-Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
-The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
-OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy
Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item*

Thanks - he double messaged to say he's looking forward to tonight so I'll try to manage my expectations til I see how tonight goes.

How are you going to broach it with Mr S?

I'm going to do it in person, and gently - no recriminations, just a curiosity kind of conversation. I will also admit that there are some things he has told me after the second pint of beer that I also can't remember, it does happen!

Just reading a thread on "where are all the nice 50-something males" where some interesting views are expressed about the "nonsense" on this thread.

Can I join and moan a little? Just dipping my toes into OLD over the last month, matched quite a lot, chatted to a few people and agreed to three dates. One date was nice but the second date one isn't for ages and we have had no communication since. The other two have fallen through 24 hours before, both times when we are arranging a location they just stop replying. It's really got to me! Any words of wisdom?

Welcome 😁 read the first post if you haven't already.

Know it's not you. This is normal.

Not ok, but normal.

How are you filtering?

Yep I’ve just been mansplained to telling my exactly what I was implying despite the fact I wasn’t but obviously men know best eh

Obviously 😅

Ooooh - where is this thread!

Ok ladies Mr doesn’t deserve a fucking name has done me a huge favour with his 👍

Ive just spoken to a good reliable honest friend who was horrified that I’d gone on a couple of dates with him as she was at a party where he slapped his ex across the face during an argument and was thrown out by security.

I feel shocked but thank god i now know who he really is

Right now I am trying not to filter too much as I want to meet different people post coming out of a long marriage. If I filtered for who I think I want I would have matched with no-one 😅

Ha ha that’s how I was. I filtered so much o barely got any matches

Now I let them send the likes and then have a look at who has liked me before I swipe

So I ventured onto fb dating
my fucking god
my usual hunting ground was Hinge but I’m worried about seeing my ex on there
its been 6 months since we abruptly ended things

Also . I’m swiping past men who are around 45 as they seem far too old for me and then I remember I’m 43 this year 😂

Just Thank God you're safe xxx

Your choice of course but this means a lot of timewasters x

Yeah it's rank.

Thank goodness for women looking out for other women, and that she was honest with you. Bullet well and truly dodged! I can imagine how shocked you must’ve been though x

I’m absolutely shaken and I will be honest I would never have seen that in him in a million years. Face to face he was so warm and friendly. He seemed a genuinely nice guy- I 100% believe my friend. She’s a very up front straight talking no BS sort of girl. She even said ‘let me check with S ( her partner) just so I don’t get it wrong then came back and said it was 100% him and she remembers T (his ex) sobbing and being scared to go home so she stayed with some ladies in their Airbnb that night.

Surely he must have realised the fact we’ve got so many mutuals that it would come out?

Definitely dodged a bullet there .

Oh wow!!

Good on her for telling you. At least you found out now!

So good you dodged this - girls United will never be defeated! I really like it when women don’t let other women down.

It’s also good he already showed his poor energy in other ways, so it was a decision you had already come to - of course they can be charming, he was doing what he wanted, enjoying the dates, good feedback from it, and had nothing interrupting his own preferences and self importance.

But even a text whilst he had ‘own important stuff’ going on just deserved an emoji and he would see nothing wrong with that - as he saw nothing wrong with slapping a girlfriend when she disrupted ‘his evening’ or ‘his greatness’ (somehow - perhaps she misspoke or something).

It’s all about him - from lovely date to irritating text to argument in public - it’s terrible these men walk amongst us but at least it’s something when they get found out.

I really wish we all had a way of finding out about any terrifying skeletons in closets and vile behaviours. You’ve been so incredibly lucky @TwistedWonder

The thing is if he hadn’t sent that 👍 I was thinking about the next date asking him to come over here for the evening. That thumb just riled me so I thought I would ask my friend who knows his ex if she had any tea to spill - and boy did she. I think there’s probably more skeletons rattling in that closet but that’s not my problem.

Just a shame some other poor woman will get taken in by him and not have the connections to find out his past.

Well at least I’ve got a girls night out with cocktails and dancing tomorrow - best way to forget a twat

Wow I’m so sorry to hear this … hope you are okay. But good that you are out of it and found out xx

So I usually approach dating in a really reserved way and have had a break for a bit … but I’ve been chatting to two people and looks like dates with both.

Mr Artist - first date today, it was a long walk and chat, he’s not my usual type but there is something about him, he’s easy to chat to and his communication is consistent. Definite chemistry (kissed) and planning another date soon.

Mr Singer - communication consistent but quieter. May seem a little jaded by dating. But seems grounded. First date planned for next week but not firm plans. So we will see …

the thing is though I have never dated more than one person at a time and I’m not sure how I feel about it?