Drunk partner

[80sbabyxx]

My partner was out today on a work do. I collected him with the kids and he was extremely drunk.

on the drive home he was starting on me nothin knew there he always does when drunk so I didn't engage.

then when we go home he was crashing about the place and I told him to stop then he started shouting and our eldest told him to stop and he called him a spas*ic. I lost it and shouted at him really loudly he then jumped up grabbed me by the thought and punched the side of my face the kids seen this. He then was threatening me more and I told him to stop he then grabbed me and punched me three times on the head.

I grabbed my phone and rang his mum who told me to pass the phone to him which I did he then threw my phone and smashed it punched me again and kicked me.

I ran to the bedroom with the kids and locked us in I was actually so frightened. After an hour his parents arrived and he acted like he had no clue why they were there and he did nothing wrong and tbh I kind of got the feeling they believed him. He had a red mark on his face which he came home with but they were asking him questions about it's the dad spoke to me and asked me what happened the mum didn't.

eventually he left with the after calling me a fucking dickhead and that this was us over for good.

I didnt ring the police as I don't want ss to contact my kids schools. I am in so much shock. He is quite nasty and has hit me before but never with this much venom I thought tonight he might kill me.

how do I help my kids through this they are 6,7 and 12

You help them by leaving and taking them with you, and reporting it to the police. Yes school will find out and that’s a good thing because your kids desperately need extra support. Contact women’s aid for support, but staying and ignoring this isn’t an option, you need to protect your kids and yourself.

I’m so sorry to read this but Please report this - so what if SS contact the kids schools they won’t judge you, it’ll be more of an issue if one of the kids says something in school and you haven’t reported this as it would be seen as masking an incident/ safeguarding concern

honesty is always the best policy I’d say.

do not let him back in the house and the police can sort an injunction out for you x

SS will more likely get involved if you do nothing and let this man back in your life.

Report to the police.

Now, before he kills you.

Ring the police and let ss get involved
it needs to happen
he needs to be kept away from you and the children

Leave sure as night follows day this will fuck your children up seeing this.
I grew up in a DV household and believe it leaves its mark.

Call the police. Thats how you help them. Ss will understand its not you. But you need it on record. And definitely dont let him back. He will only get worse.
You dont deserve to be treated that way .

I’m so so so sorry this happened to you OP. You and your kids must have been so scared.

i think you’ve learnt it the hard way but don’t rely on his parents to do the right thing or see the truth. They will always want to be on his side.

if he gets violent again call the police immediately. Also you could get a back up phone (burner phone) to hide in a drawer if he takes your phone away. Make a plan to leave him

You absolutely need to ring the police because I can guarantee your kids will tell someone and it will look worse you haven’t reported this. You need your kids to see you’ve done the right thing. Get yourself and your kids somewhere safe and never look back. Sending you hugs xx

Im so sorry you & your kids have gone through this.

Call the police. Show your children what the right thing to do is.

You say it’s happened before and you’ve not report it….it happened again. Please don’t make this mistake again. 🙏

You need to be as protective a parent as you can. You need to report this to the police. You need to seek advice from social services to help guide you in supporting your children through this. You also need support for yourself. Contact womens aid. Do NOT let this man back into your home, ever. He is dangerous. I'm so sorry this has happened you, and im sure this list of things to do is the last thing you want to hear, but you need to gather every ounce of strength you have to get yourself and your children through this. Do you have supportive family or friends?

Also I watched some police documentary on bbc last year and there was a man who was drunk arguing on and off with his wife that evening. She called her mother as she was scared. He stabbed both his wife and mother in law (who tragically died). I don’t mean for scare you but violent drunk men do awful reckless things

Thanks for the advice I haven't spoke to my family yet. All day I have been so tense it's like my nervous system knew this was going to happen. I don't think I goaded him in the car I was just agreeing with him he was calling me nasty and saying aren't you nasty I was just saying yes to try and shut him up. He hasn't left any marks so I don't think police will believe me

He is away for the night to his mums I couldn't have settled with him here I thought he was going to kill me

Don't second guess yourself with I didn't think I goaded him.
He's a dangerous individual with violent tendancies.
He will definitely do it again
Call the police.
Don't minimise what happened.

You don't know whether or not police will believe you. Regardless, you have to call them and make sure the assault is logged.
When I was two my dad hit my mum while drunk, she didn't report him. When I was three, I witnessed him trying to kill her... Not a nice experience for a child, I tell you. Call the police, let SS be involved. Your kids desperately need this.

This won't get better. Protect your children now and call the police.

Your kids witnessed it OP. The police can speak to them… 3 witnesses. He’s hit you before and will again. It will escalate. He may kill you.

Speak to the police. Social services will want to help the kids and you.

Please, call the police.

He needs to be away permanently. Call the police and protect your DC. The first post, as usual, nailed it.

You need SS more than you realise at the moment.

What everyone else has said. You are doing the right thing by ending the relationship and so stopping it from happening again. SS will commend you for that. You need to report it to the police for multiple reasons, including child contact, custody etc.

I'm so sorry this has happened. You sound incredibly strong 💐

Oh the relationship is over. I'm devestated my kids have seen that I never wanted this for th

You will need the police to keep him away though. The other thing that happens when it makes it ‘official’ is it brings it into the world outside you, him and his parents.

He's in the police if he loses his job financially it will effect us both

The financials are not the most important thing right now though.
The most important thing is that you and your children need to be safe and he needs to be removed from you all.
It’s really only the police that can do this.

Money can be sorted out later