wanting another baby

[hayley88]

iv got a son whos now one and i want to try for another baby. my partner says he does not want to at this moment in time but the reason is because of his mum and dad. Hes afraid that they will be to upset and disapointed in him. I have told him several time thats we are our own family now no-one elses opinion matters if we are happy then they should be. I say to him would u be happy if i got pregnant and he says yeah so i say well why cant we try......its really getting to me hes to concerned what other people think but all im concerned about is me and my family (my partner and child). i get lectured everytime i go to his house by his 15 year old brother sayin you cannot have another baby do you want to struggle all your life..... i dont struggle i cope very well and all i want in life is my family im sorry for blabbing on im just sick of everyone ruling our lifes and stopping us doing what we want to do im life.

Free country and all that, for some it is not free.

WORKING PEOPLE PAY RENT ON COUNCIL HOUSES - IT IS NOT A HANDOUT

Sorry to shout but this point seems to be getting deliberately missed!

It's nothing to do with her age or her capabilities as a mother. It's to do with the responsibility we all have to each other. That's not bullying it's a point of view on a discussion forum.

"Council Houses should go to those who physically can't work" ?????

Social Housing is not free Pembslass - you ignorant snob.

Social housing shouldn't be the reserve of the benefit classes. What good would that do anyone? It would just create a hugely polarised society where only the very rich or the very poor (and those stuck on benefits) could afford to live in their own homes.

People who work for a living but do not earn huge salaries (like Hayley, key workers, normal working class families etc) should be entitled to affordable housing in the areas which they work/their families are.

YES!!!!!! WE KNOW!!! It's significantly less rent than on a private rent/mortgage.

Exactly what I was trying to say Meemar!

Why do these stupid snobs assume that being on benefits and being entitled to social housing amounts to the same thing?

Of course the rent is less - why do you have a problem with that? Not everybody earns the same - some people need cheaper housing.

Would you rather people on low incomes couldn't afford to rent at all?

WTF is your point pembslass? It's significantly less rent than on a private rent/mortgage.

Yes we all know that... and thats why it works, its a lower rent for low income families.

I don't see why you keep repeating that like you are making a point in your defence?!

Perhaps you'd like to see them redirected to the workhouse Pembslass?

Jess, I'm not a snob. I spent the first 7 years of my life in a council house after my mum died. I am also far from ignorant with regard to the current council house rental paid to local authorities by working tenants. I have no issue with key workers being allocated subsidised housing especially in the London area.

My point with regard to everyone having a responsibility to society remains

Can someone tell me how I 'hide' this thread please? I really can't deal with it at the moment!

below the title of the thread there is a 'hide' link.

Jess, I can see you're having trouble keeping up with this thread...

Disenchanted:- the point is why would anyone decide to have more children when they are not in a position to afford it.

Just click it off Disenchanted. It's not a good idea to come to a discussion forum if you're not prepared for diverse points of view

I think you are the one having trouble with the thread pembs.

You are a condesending... well, I wont say what.

It amazes me how people still have these attitudes.

perhaps this discussion re private rent and council housing could be taken to a different thread?

Theres a difference between someone with a different view to yours and someones whos view is SNOBBY, OUT OF DATE AND DOWN RIGHT OFFENSIVE!

If my view offends you and you are getting upset then click on another thread! It's only the internet. I have read your posts, I don't neccessarily agree-that's life. My view point remains the same as much as it may annoy you and I make no apology for that.

Disenchanted I think most people object to parents continuing to have more children and expecting benefits, even if it's tax credit.
Fair enough if both parents work but it's the something for nothing attitude that really bites. If you want to be a SAHM then fine, ensure your dh/dp earns enough to give you that choice or that you invest enough money to support yourself. But to just tantrum about having another child without a roof over your head is childish. The PIL obviously want a better life for both of them and would rather they wait than continually struggle and I think they're right. I'd be very dissapointed if any of my children expected less than that from themselves.
Tax payers have a right to be pissed off with people that expect their money and are, hoepfully, compassionate enough to see that some people need it.

Yes, it is a horrible bullying thread. I'm so sorry your sister has had to see this side of people Disenchanted. It actually made me feel sick to read such snobbish bile directed at a young mother.
People who think council houses are only for war veterans or those 'unable to work' are really too wilfully stupid to engage with.

What a horrible thread - the very worst of middle-class, middle-aged mumsnet.

Hayley - FWIW, you sound like you are doing your best but I think you need to wait before you have another child. Maybe your partner is feeling the strain of living with others and trying to get qualifications and a job to support your family.

You should wait until you are settled in your own home and he is happy to take on the responsibility of another baby - you are only young and have lots of time

Where does Hayley say she wants something for nothing? WHERE? Nowhere. She is prepared to pay rent, she supplies all her child's needs, her partner works, and so does she. FFS. I think some of you are so in love with the idea of poorer young people all being feckless chavs because it makes you feel superior, like a lot of grim old Hyacinth Bouquets, twitching your lace curtains and muttering about the youth of today.
God, I'd rather have Hayley as my mum than some of you lot!
My mum had me at 23, and my parents often had nothing and for a while we lived with my grandparents. I suppose I should go and give my mum a bollocking for that, eh?

The threads gotten silly and I can't be bothered to argue with ignorant tories.

Hayley, if you can bear to read this far, let this be a lesson in the reactions that writing in text language can provoke - people will assume you're thick and start talking down to you. There are plenty of people on MN who live in social houses/with thier family/actually are on benefits but i've never seen them pulled apart like this.

Keep paying your own way, wait until you get your own place (fingers crossed the council house you soon) before you start trying for your next baby and learn how to touch type so that you don't have to use so many abbreviations.

There - I'm done

My parenst had two chioldren by the age of 21, in their own home both working, never on benefits both grew up in council accomodation. How can this girl be working and wanting two children???

Empathy people , empathy.
I suspect Harly wanted a bit of support about how her partner was not supportive of her wich for a second baby.
She accepted several posters points of views that waiting a bit, but understandably got p**d off by some of the patronising views expressed here.
I agree , she probably needs to wait a bit before planning the next baby, but young women are meant to have babies not elderly ladies of 35 (like myself) and christ I wish I had had started my family when I was younger.
If everyone waited until things were perfect, none of us would ever have children