DatingThread 55 - Spring has Sprung!

[Nosdacariad]

The Rules:
-The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating -Develop a thick skin
-Do not invest emotionally too soon
-It’s all BS until it actually happens
-Trust your gut instinct
-People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault
-Know your worth
-If it's not fun, stop
-Loo update is mandatory
-No dating the thread
-Treat others as you'd like to be treated
-Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
-The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
-OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy
Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item*

Hinge is the quietest app (I am in my fifties) but for me it has the best quality men. Mr Soughdough was on Hinge, my toxic exes on Bumble so I might be biased. Bumble has been taken over by shaggers selecting "sex positivity" (I want sex) and "sassiness" (I want sex) as their choices, and Tinder looks like a line up from Alcatraz.

I accidentally had no age filter on when I first started on Hinge (I am in my fifties) and I was inundated by men in their early twenties. I have locked my age filter down now, so now am inundated by men who claim to be fifties and look like they are eighty (because they are).

I found hinge the best for quality too . Though less profiles on there .

Maybe I should lower my age range as I do get a lot of interest from men who make my dad look youthful. I think it’s currently set 39-58 (I’m late 40s).

Are you sure? I just saw a profile on there that said he goes crazy for ‘banna milkshake.’

Hinge was tumbleweed for me. I didn’t get a single match. Every man seemed to be a long walk and pub roast type and that’s not my perfect Sunday!

Bumble I had the most matches but also the highest number of monosyllabic men who answered every question with one word or and emoji.

POF was hideous - 20 somethings wanting to tick the MILF box or septuagenarians who resembled Dobby telling me she is only a number.

Im perma banned from Tinder - no idea why. I tried to join and was told i had broken their T&C 🤷‍♀️

I paid for Ourtime once. I paid for a month and lasted a week. It was truly a rogues gallery of too close up mirror selfies in a public toilet

Unfortunately the men I’ve met in the wild have been equally hideous. The sex pest, the one who sent about 25 messages in first few hours including 4 selfies and called me at work to see why I hadn’t replied 🤦‍♀️, the one who knocked 10 years off his age and the Nigel Farage fanboy 😂

And the only guy I actually liked from OLD told me after 2nd date he had permanent untreatable ED

No wonder I’ve pretty much given up

I mean in comparison to the other apps. Let’s not go crazy and actually say there’s much quality out there at all 😂😂😂

Ditto. I got more interest from men young enough to be my son or old enough to be my dad than those my own age.

I still get most likes from men 15/20 years younger when I dip back in

I'm always surprised by that. I have eyes, I can see you are not 43! Either that or you had a bloody hard life!!
Hinge has been the worst for me. I gave up on it a decade ago.

Once you get to the end of those it shows you women.

The men who it shows you as a friend are (in my experience) outside of what you're looking for e.g. smoker/3000 miles away.

Yep. The men who came up as friends on FB dating were outside my preferences - usually due to age/height/distance and being smokers.

When i was OLD I only used hinge. Had great "success" in terms of matches, and some good dates ( as in no catfishes or dodgy ppl) usually went to second dates, I had a few several month long things going on as well. So success in that stance but obviously didnt lead to anything serious. Nice guys though.

@Polly1979 if you are open to a bit younger lower the bracket a bit and see?

Im a bit unusual i think in the dating world in the sense that I dont really see age......im looking at that connection, interest, conversation and how they make me feel/laugh from the get go.

I think some would be shocked and maybe even judgey about my age gap relationship (not that i care 😂), but I would of missed out on a fantastically fulfilling relationship (best one ive ever had all round!) as he wouldn't have been in my filters on OLD (met him in the wild)

Do you feel able to share your age filters? (Not your age gap 😁)

I wouldn’t mind dating a younger man within reason - they’re certainly better looking - but I would worry that when we are out and about that we’d look more like brother and older sister than a couple!

I’ve dated younger men before but probably no more than 6 years younger.

I honestly cant remember what age filters I had on OLD, point being they would certainly have filtered out my DP.

Thankfully met in wild. He is nothing lole his stereotypical age bracket though (hence why I say i dont see age) that being said I was peeing my pants when it was time to meet his mum 😂 thankfully all his family are so lovely and just happy to see him happy

That's great that you had a fantastically fulfilling relationship in the wild. I wonder if that barrier online being removed helps with that as in we stop being in little boxes and you just click and know at the off regardless of restrictions like age? I don't see age that much unless it's close to my kids (twenties) then it gives me a weird pause. I have often wondered if I'd match well with younger men (late thirties or forties etc.) but I've only ever dated men almost exactly or near enough to my own age. Maybe I will experiment if Mr Soughdough turns sour!!

Fingers crossed he doesnt 🙏
I would say I am probably one of the most unjudgey unstereotypical people ever 😂 in my line of work as a teacher too I will never judge a book by its cover or previous "offences" I will give said child chance to show me who they are....then go from there

I feel.you! This was a concern of mine i asked my closest snd honest friends and they said he looked older than me 😂😂😂🙈🙈

I’m 43 and whenever I go out I get all the me in their late twenties early 30s wanting my number! 😂 some of them have great chat others think they’re doing me a favour I think!

Had a really fun day with Pub Man yesterday... I think I might have a little crush! Physically he's not my usual type at all but we had such a blast, plus he's keen and consistent. Have already set my stall out that I work a lot with weird shifts and he was fine.

Reminds me of many years ago when I met an old school acquaintance of my daughter in a club and we chatted a bit about what they’d both done since etc - he then asked if I wanted to dance - I did but was still assuming it was all just friendly - till he seemed to try get a bit closer to me on the dance floor, when I made boundaries of being same age as my kids clear - but then had to be more firm and leave - however, I particularly remember him saying that I didn’t know how lucky I was and I wouldn’t get that lucky again!
NAMALT of course but there are a lot - everywhere- wild and OLD.

@MsJinkshilarious! I hope you set the record straight! This guy was selling himself as a good looking, young fireman - I was like I dated a fireman for seven years and you’re not that good looking mate!

This sounds promising 😁

Well comms with Cyberman are too slow and Mr PE is a golf bore and Mr Eng has gone to talking about being handcuffed (yawn, so predictable).

I worked at a fire station previously- best job I had tbh - but I reckon I saw one good looking one in the whole county in those 5 years! Generally nice to work with though.

Some I knew, full time ones, never said they were firefighters when out because of the reaction - obviously some used it for the general ‘reaction’ though unless they downright wanted to be single the men found girlfriends quite easily.

It was the retained firefighters who tended to be more aware and chatty about their job - and self impressed by it.

I’d keep being firm - not just firefighters but many guys really can’t get past thinking they’re a great catch - I think they have special mirrors telling them these ‘porkies’!