DatingThread 55 - Spring has Sprung!

[Nosdacariad]

The Rules:
-The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating -Develop a thick skin
-Do not invest emotionally too soon
-It’s all BS until it actually happens
-Trust your gut instinct
-People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault
-Know your worth
-If it's not fun, stop
-Loo update is mandatory
-No dating the thread
-Treat others as you'd like to be treated
-Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
-The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
-OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy
Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item*

Yeah I was more bothered about him waltzing into the NT place without paying and expecting me to follow.

I agree. Not a good look!

Nah. Bin!
For contrast, had a 3h hike with Mr Poet this afternoon. Got completely soaked. He gave me all his spare clothes to change into, got me a hot coffee as soon as we got back to the car and then washed all my clothes when we arrived back at his place.
I know it wasn't the first date but still ..

Thanks @Catza I've been sitting here wondering if I'm being too picky...

Definitely not! Uphold your high standards and don't waste your time on low effort men. I found that out the hard way.

Absolutely not on you, this man sounds awful. Did he have any redeeming qualities?

I hate the walking suggestion, it just feels low effort and zero imagination. I don’t go on many dates but expect a minimum of a coffee shop, happy to pay, but appreciate it if they offer. I wouldn’t be sneaking in anywhere.

No such thing as too picky when it comes to a potential partner.

He sent nice, thoughtful messages consistently. He was attractive.
He has practical skills and his life in order.
I find being mean deeply unattractive, MrX was quite mean but not this much.

It’s when they’re so relaxed about being a skinflint that you know this is who they are and they don’t see anything wrong with having short arms and long pockets.
Its their normal so there’s no getting past it - this would be your life with them

I had a weird walk today too @Nosdacariad went out for a couple of hours with Mr Scenester, he suggested a walk which I was fine with, but the walk was quite strenuous and I ended up a breathless, sweaty mess. I annoyed about being pushed out of my comfort zone and I just wasn’t at my best. Maybe we should all say no to walking dates and they’ll stop suggesting them!

He sounds like a selfish, clueless giant Cub Scout… Next!

I’m with you on the walking dates especially for a first date. I like to have an easy out in case it’s a hard no and don’t like the idea of being an hour from my car with no means of escape. Plus the sweaty thing as someone recently suggested walking up a massive hill for the first date but I don’t want to be red and exhausted on our first meeting!

I read another thread where someone’s long-term partner sent her a monzo request for half if he ever paid for drinks so that is your potential future with a tightwad.

I’m with you on walking dates. They’re not dates imo.
Unless you’re born into hiking or whatever, a date that’s just going for a walk is a huge no for me.

Tbh if a man has in his bio his ideal first date is a long walk and a Sunday roast, instant swipe left.

I was a little outside mine and was also a sweaty mess. You may have a plan there 😁

Hideous!

Oh no @Nosdacariad I would be very unimpressed. Sorry Mr Boulder was such a disappointment, will you give him another chance or is it on to the next one?

Mr Soughdough update: So when we parted on Saturday morning he said (knowing I was doing mother's say stuff in the day yesterday) "let's have a phone call on Sunday when you are free." So I messaged him at 5.00 pm last night to say, "around for a call." He did not reply and still has not. Although we don't have a history of texting frequently, this is unsettling me. Thoughts?

Yes that would bother me . I’m really on the fence about him at the moment . I’m still not happy he didn’t contact you for that week . I’d have my guard up.

No. He showed some 1950s attitudes too. Not for me.

@rubberduck68 and @TheThingOnTheIce from what you both say he has had a second chance already for poor comms?

@rubberduck68 I'd be upset, he offered and did not match the action to the word.

Mr Fannyclamper messaged and said he thought we lived too far apart. Not far enough from my perspective 😅

It's fine to forget a loose arrangement. It's not fine to ignore a reminder and leave someone hanging. You might have to brace yourself to move on from this one unless he comes back with an apology and a plan.

He just messaged saying it was very late when he saw my text, and asked me how I am. Hmmm. What do we think?

Don’t know which would be worse but 2 strikes - mean and ‘traditional values’ (so it’s termed on the sites) - and out, so an excellent decision, if disappointing for you though.
I sometimes think part of the disappointment is knowing you have to start all over again - but I ended up in a type of FWB for too long with not my best match as I couldn’t be arsed going back to try again - wasn’t the worst thing and had good times too but can’t recommend this at all either.
I was tempted to see my solo date again cos of this - he also wasn’t mean lol - but enough minor niggles ruled it out - maybe I should have seen these threads and developed better boundaries years ago!
Onwards and upwards.

I am sad about this for you but also because Mr Fannyclamper has to be one of the top names on here, and I will be sad to see it go. Mine is fairly clamped up right now too!!!