DatingThread 55 - Spring has Sprung!

[Nosdacariad]

The Rules:
-The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating -Develop a thick skin
-Do not invest emotionally too soon
-It’s all BS until it actually happens
-Trust your gut instinct
-People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault
-Know your worth
-If it's not fun, stop
-Loo update is mandatory
-No dating the thread
-Treat others as you'd like to be treated
-Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
-The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
-OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy
Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item*

@TwistedWonder you and me both. If i think about my longer term partners, they did look great in my eyes, very fit superficially, and i loved that. Im far from fit but i think i ticked their boxes and they ticked mine looks wise. I just dont find anyone attractive on the apps. I really want someone who is a friend who i can fall for. I look nice/young for my age but i feel like i go into mum mode day to day rather than sexy woman mode.

Someone just matched with me on Bumble but said he was a swinger. Sigh.

He shouldn't be expecting anything.

Yes, a lot of the times. However, I often go for "good enough" because attraction is something which builds over time. I don't think I've ever dated anyone conventionally hot but I did fancy the pants off all my long term partners which built over the course of getting to know them.

I have a disclaimer on my profile which says I am not looking for polyamorous relationship. Keeps the swingers at bay.

So sorry this happened to you, this "can't have a relationship" when they are on a dating app is a low bar, but they vote themselves off your gorgeous island, next!

If you are going any distance I would expect a check in the day before or on the day to confirm. A local coffee date put in three days ago, I wouldn't worry so much, but a long drive... that requires a bit more clarification.

He can expect whatever he likes, you don't have to do it! The dinner and drinks is not in the hotel, is it? Anyway, enjoy and don't feel pressured to make use of his double bed that he's paid for, that was his choice!

Warning: SEX TALK! Had a wonderful night with Mr Soughdough, it ended up being a sleepover (he had done the STD test without asking which was great, and produced it on his phone, I had a matching one ha ha). He has gone to coach football this morning, so I am sat here pondering... It was lovely, except... I couldn't really get there in the end. This often happens to me the first few times with a man. I told him that I never fake, and it just takes the planets aligning for it to happen (can't do it just from PIV.) He was very keen to try but looked a bit disappointed when I said after a while it probably wasn't going to happen, but everything he was doing was lovely (it really was.) I felt pressured. It takes me a while with someone new to get there. Does this happen to anyone else? Sex threads seem to be full of mutli-orgasmic women who get there in a wink with new fellas. I'm now down the rabbit hole of thinking my stupid body somehow ruined a good night....

This sounds completely normal.

Well done for the STD tests and it's the first time. He tried and cared. It will be fine.

I understand why you feel anxious, that makes sense but this is so normal xxx

I couldnt "get there" the first time I slept with someone...it takes me a bit to feel fully relaxed and then as the emotional connection builds it just gets better and better.

I do find it odd and sad how the focus is on the achievement of an O rather than the whole experience.

Dont doubt yourself you were true to yourself xx

It happens on occasion. Not just with a new guy but with regular partners too. I never make a big deal out of it unless the guy is objectively clueless (in which case I also don't make a big deal out of it and just excuse myself from seeing them again). How do you feel about sex toys? I have a trusty bullet vibrator which never fails. Most men are fairly enthusiastic when I fish it out of my handbag.

@rubberduck68 I can never....get there ....the first time with someone new. It takes me a while.

From long distant memory I don’t think this is an unusual occurrence though I am basically a born again virgin at this point and not sure if I’ll ever have sex again, so not really qualified to advise!

Dear Lord and Father...I think I'm too judgy for this malarkey.

Mr Boulder - 2h 20min walk. No offer of coffee or other refreshments including the chocolate and water he had two of in his backpack, he sneaked into a NT property without paying assuming I'd do the same. I didn't.

Hive mind any comments?

tight bastard , that would put me right off

Definitely a fanny clamper for me. Can’t bear cheap skates

It's not just me then?!

Mr Boulder is henceforth renamed Mr Fannyclamper 😅

Fanny clamper. 😂

Can understand some people might not share bottles due to germs, etc, but not sharing chocolate?! And the sneaking in / not suggesting coffee is bad form. A deep sigh on your behalf @Nosdacariad

There were two bottles of water and two choc bars 🙃

Yeah I dried right up just reading that, can only imagine how your feeling 🙄🤯

WTAF then?! Reminds me of someone I dated in my early twenties who bought two grab sized bags of walkers in the pub and proceeded to eat both himself.

Nope, nope, nope. Not just you! Ugh, I feel the ick just reading about this tightwad.

My friend went on a walking date with a pub lunch planned at the end. As they got to the pub after a long walk, he said he’d forgotten his wallet (hmm) then proceeded to sit on a bench, pull a sausage roll out of his bag and scoff it on front of her.

Oh. My. God!

Maybe he keeps a set for himself in case he falls down a well or something?

That's crappy of him though.