BIL Text Me In Error-he is having an affair?

[Robertsmithsnan]

I sent my BIL a message last week, my name starts with R.
Received a message at 7am, “R, you are the light of my life, I love you with all my heart”
He sent this to me by mistake.
The “R” person is someone he works with. What do I do?

It’s your BIL not you who has blown up your sister’s life.

And probably also his own, as it’s likely he’ll be on a harassment accusation at work if he carries in with that nonsense.

What a twat.

You did the right thing OP.

Your sister's husband blew up her life. He's cheating or trying to cheat. He's keeping his marriage to have a cozy nest unless the OW would have him, them he'd more than likely dump your sister. You merely brought his cheating out into the open. At least now she knows and he can't blindside her and she knows she's his second choice at this time.

I think you did the right thing.

Has this been mutual or is he harassing a coworker?

I doubt we will ever know. It all sounds very … odd

I think this might be a case of the other woman being quite happy to have something exciting and secret going on, but when it comes to the reality of taking this cheater on full time, and potentially breaking up her own marriage, suddenly it’s all a bit real and not what she wants.

You've not blown your sisters life up, her twat of a husband has!
This might hurt like hell atm but better your loyalty to your sister now than his dirty little secret comes our in a few months time and she realises you knew all along!

Yes, absolutely. She deserves- and needs - to know.
He has blown up your sister’s life.

What a disgusting man. Messsging love to another women while keeping his wife in the dark. Presumably he was testing the water and would have said nothing if he’d known the OW wasn’t interested.

But your sister would have been left living with a liar and a fraud, which is not good.

This. You did the right thing.

Is the ow married /

If so her husband needs to know.

Let that be the next course of action.
Also advise your sister to get her sexual health tested.

You've done nothing wrong @Robertsmithsnan . If the OW isn't interested then good for her but your BIL would have an affair with her any day if she'd said yes. If he's pestering a coworker he could end up losing his job, a double whammy for your poor sister

Thing is, if you dont tackle it, it will become the elephant in the room so....

You didn't blow up her life - he did.
He is the one looking elsewhere.
By sending the message to you - he made it public.

You are loyal and loving ...as he should be.
He didn't get you to betray her too.

Secrets like that are slow poison.

It's down to BIL. His actions have led to this.

The only person blowing her life up is him.

Thankfully, she has one person who is loyal to her and has her back - you!

Now she has the information, she can think about what she wants to do next and be under no illusions about her 'D'H.

You did the right thing OP.

As hard as the situation is right now, there is also the possibility that he most likely if OW wanted him, would have left your sister even more heartbroken. He even could have just left and not told her the reason

So she knows now. She holds all the knowledge and the power

Please please do urge her to absolutely take him to the cleaners. And I’d also advise your sister to get checked.

You have absolutely not blown anyone’s life up.

This is my question too. Is this real, or just a hypothetical?

You did the right thing @Robertsmithsnan

Ive been in your sisters position and was grateful to have been told

No you told her what she needed to know.

He blew up his own life.

If it wasn't this woman it would be the next.

She's now able to make that decision before wasting anymore of her life with this prick. She will come round.

Remember: If you didn't tell her and she found out you knew later on that would be worse.

HE blew her life up.

You haven't..BIL did ...noone wants a life with a cheater. I'd want my sister to tell me

You didn't blow up her life, he did.

I assume if your husband was having an affair, you'd want to know. You've done her the same favour.

No he did

@Robertsmithsnan Your BIL blew his wife (your DS) life up. Not you. Don’t take responsibility for this cheating bastards actions. He was so comfortable in his lie he stopped trying to hide it.