BIL Text Me In Error-he is having an affair?

[Robertsmithsnan]

I sent my BIL a message last week, my name starts with R.
Received a message at 7am, “R, you are the light of my life, I love you with all my heart”
He sent this to me by mistake.
The “R” person is someone he works with. What do I do?

Tbh I’ve recently sent something very similar to a friend when she did me a favour! She is actually NOT the light of my life…! 😂 I would’ve thought she was a bit mental if she immediately jumped to ‘tell your DP before I do’!
what was the message you sent him!?

if it’s your sister.. screenshot and send to her and ask if her husband is trying to be funny. If it’s your husband’s brother then you show your husband and let him decide what to do

It's a very sickly sweet message. I'd be cringing if I were the recipient of this! It's over-the-top. If the R is your BIL's colleague, then yes, it could mean he's having an affair but it's so cringe, it could equally be a jokey/tongue-in-cheek type message. I'd text back 'Eh????? Clearly not meant for me'. The ball is then in his court to offer an explanation! He may not be aware he's sent you the message. I wouldn't involve my sister (if he is married to your sister) or my husband (if he's your husband's brother) at this point. I'd wait for an explanation. He's clearly going to need to give you one! If it's implausible, then tell your sister/husband.

Why do posters never come back and give more info, it's so annoying

Because everyone here answering and taking this seriously is doing their bidding.
Who knows why they do it? Seems somewhat tedious to me.

It's not really an affair type message is it? More like a relieved/ jokey response to a work colleague. We don't know what job they do. Too many possibilities.

are you sure he wasn't being an idiot and the message was indeed for you?

If you are sure he's cheating, give him a deadline to tell his partner or you will.

Have you talked with him yet?

I’m assuming the two R names are different, but bil just accidentally selected the wrong R name, hence op knows it’s not for her.

This! I have been known to send similarly absurd OTT messages to colleagues I most definitely was NOT having an affair with for doing something really annoying (such as my expenses!) for me.

My thoughts too, perhaps he thought his colleague was going above beyond out of work hours and it’s a joke.
Not to say an affair is impossible but it’s a rather over the top thing to random thing to say and if an affair was true I’d still doubt he loved her that much.

Print screen the message.
Reply - wrong person?
See what he says.
Definitely speak to your sister (assuming this is the BIL connection). If not, ask DH how he wants to proceed.

It’s only been 2hrs 🫠

You could ignore it or just reply 'I think you sent this to me by mistake'. No need to get involved.

I like the conversation with wife message

The “R” person is someone he works with. What do I do?

Call me old fashioned, but I'd start by returning at least once to the thread you started 5 hours ago.

Even if it was just to say you're off to work and you'll return this evening.

I'm another who would assume colleague had done him a favour

This is my sisters husband.
He works with this woman.
This isn't a joke. The message was meant for his work colleague who's name starts with R (as does mine).
I replied I dont think my sister would be very impressed with your messaging another woman
I called my sister and told her. Sent her a screen shot.
He has deleted all messages, historic. She can't get them reinstated.
He told her he thinks he loves this woman. The OW wants nothing to do with him.
A total shitfest. I've blown my sisters life up

No. Your BIL blew your sister's life up

I would act innocent and tell your sister (if it is her husband) or your husband (if it is his brother) that your BIL has sent you this message, it is not appropriate and you don't want it to happen again.

Then leave it to them to speak to him and work out for themselves whether he was hitting on you or if he is having an affair. That way you have acted fairly and nobody can ever come back to you and accuse you of (a) covering up for him or (b) accusing him of having an affair.

Sorry for all the dickhead trollhunters on your thread. You didn't blow up your sister's life - he did that himself. If he's in love with someone else, she deserves to know and I would have done the same.

No, you have not. HE has!

This isn't your fault. You had to tell your sister - it was the right thing to do. This is on your dickhead BIL, not you.

I guess it does, although I’d always be cautious of boundaries in case something goes wrong.

You haven’t done anything wrong, you’ve done exactly the right thing. Your sister must be reeling but you’ve given her a lucky escape. No doubt he’ll try to worm his way back in now the OW doesn’t want him.