BIL Text Me In Error-he is having an affair?

[Robertsmithsnan]

I sent my BIL a message last week, my name starts with R.
Received a message at 7am, “R, you are the light of my life, I love you with all my heart”
He sent this to me by mistake.
The “R” person is someone he works with. What do I do?

Personally, I would be having a discrete word with BIL and asking for an explanation. It could be innocent but more likely he’s having an affair which will blow his marriage apart…….unless he has a very understanding wife.

What do I do?

Explain who BIL is for a start.

It’s not rocket science, tell your sister or husband.

I can't imagine anyone sending a message like that seriously so I would learn towards jokey hyperbole. Of course anything is possible

Wind up post 🚩?

They definitely do change their prose when having an affair!

I discovered my ex’s draft word doc on our shared computer many years ago that was littered with basic French terms of endearment. He hadn’t even studied French at school!

OP, screenshot the message and send it to your sister/sil. She needs to know so she can decide what to do before he tries to lie and make stupid excuses.

But it would be clear in the context surely. If someone from work did me a massive favour, I might reply with something like that (and have). If the response was in relation to something entirely different then it will be clear, or he would have deleted the message which shows it’s not above board.

It sounds like a joke to me.

OTT language, and if someone is having an affair, they are usually very careful about making sure messages go to the right person.

I'm also a bit dubious about the language. It doesn't scream illicit affair - possibly even something I'd send to a child.

How do you know he sent it by mistake? How do you know R is someone he works with? You’re not giving us the full story.

I’d meet up with wife then say randomly, “Oh your DH is a laugh, look what he sent me by mistake. Who’s he professing his undying love to?” Treat it all as a joke then take your cue from his wife.

From a man’s point of view it doesn’t sound much like something any of my male friends would send if they were having an affair

I did, however, send a not dissimilar message to one of our female friends who said she would look after my cat while we went on holiday

I’d be wary of making too
many assumptions about this without more information

Yes, so thing like this.

Mmmmm it could be an affair or they could’ve saved his arse it work for something?

I use a very very similar phrase when someone does me a big favour

Id write that to someone who bailed me out at work.
Just ask him what its about preferably in person. You can normally work out whats going on my their reaction.

So there was no kiss or heart emoji at the end? I suspect it’s a joke to a colleague.

Was it a WhatsApp or a text? He could delete the WhatsApp for everyone including you
that’s aside it’s either a joke or the shit has hit the fan

i think it’s a joke as that doesn’t sound sexy or secretive at all. I’ve definitely sent similar to coworkers

Yes yes - I might have said that to someone who for example dug me out of a shitstorm at work, or covered a shift for me or whatever . Male or female. though it would be accompanied by !!! And an emoji or two

Very weird message “you are the light of my life” is such an odd turn of phrase for an AP I’d have thought

How do you know it was by mistake, maybe he meant it for you seriously or having a joke. I would reply 'I didn't know you cared, but my DH is coming round to have a word...'

I wouldn't be discreet at all. I'd do what someone above suggests and send it to his wife saying this is for you, he sent it to me by mistake. Don't give him the opportunity to weasel his way out by minimising as he will if you try having a "discreet word", but either way he'll be rattled and so he should be.

If a work colleague texted my personal phone saying ‘I love you’ for any reason I’d be quite unhappy. It’s not appropriate workplace conversation is it?

BIL is the OP, sent the message in error, and is now trying to gauge what level of shit he's in.

Sent at 7am?
That is definitely the type of ́message I might send a work colleague if I woke up, looked at my emails and saw they had fixed an issue for me overnight and wanted to acknowledge it.

Doesn't mean they aren't having an affair but other plausible explanations exist.

My sister (when married) sent a message of this type to my husband, to whom the message was clearly not destined. We said nothing to anyone but I did mentally store it as future ammunition - my sister is notoriously tricky and manipulative.