Sensitive Topic- Boyfriend told me he’s attracted to minors

[MorrisHer]

I’m aware I’m going to be ripped to shreds for this post and I probably deserve it but I’ve figured I couldn’t feel worse than I do already and if just one person can find it within themselves to hold my hand and offer me the tiniest bit of kindness and safe advice it will be worthwhile.
So I was married for 29 years, two grown up children. Met a guy who seemed like the full package, kind, warm and gentle.
Ex husband stated he wanted the house sold but insisted on moving in in the interim period as he had nowhere else to go so .. bf asked me to move in with him after a few months so I accepted, albeit all a bit rushed things seemed to go ok.
You know the saying if some thing seems too good to be true it usually is? …well
When we were out and about I steadily noticed he was checking out girls, like it wasn’t something I imagined .. it was a real vile gut instinct I’d had for a while.
During a recent argument I raised it with him and he made the foulest admission he was sexually attracted to teenage girls and often as a single man he was drive home from work and masturbate thinking about them.
He said he would never act upon those feelings as in harm them in any way but surely this admission IS a form of harm isnt it??
This man is 63 years old!! I’m sickened to the very core and sometimes I don’t feel I can go on .. he seemed a nice guy .. he has his flaws but never in a million years did I think he was that man!
I need to move out but I’m still waiting to sell my house and I have huge debts and apart from pitching a tent on the marsh nearby my housing options are limited so I’m biding my time til my house sells …
Please understand I’m a good person, a decent person with strong morals and this has destroyed me … please help!

then research the term cougar women, it seems a certain set of women and their behaviours even got their own tv show called cougar town

Deleted, got the point late!

Why is the counter example of 60 year old women being attracted to 20 year old men? why 20 and not young teens, as we have been talking about?

A 20 year old is in no way comparable to a 13 year old. Or even a 16 year old.

Oh please, I just pulled a round number out of nowhere. There are plenty of 15 year olds, mald and female, who can pass for 20 physically and vice versa.

Tons women also look physical mature a lot younger than young men, generally, unless the young men work out a lot.

Tons should say young.

Yes, he was rude and tactless to basically tell OP that she's too old. A more sensible man would keep his thoughts to himself...

what a thread. Poster arguing with each other and a poster, lazy to reply to any question, just finally giving some update...

I'm a woman in my mid 60s and I don't find anybody "buff". Been there and done that, mate.

"snowflake". I see you.

What ever sex you are, male or female, everyone will know you as the creepy one.

Another creep on this thread.

OMG.

Report what to the police? That he has a fetish/fancy for teenage girls but doesn't act on it ..sleezy yes illegal no..I'd be gone personally but all this reporting to police is nonsense.

Please may I ask you two questions?

One : are you then saying it's normal for men to be attracted to 13-15 year old girls who've menstruating/have breast development?

What about 10-12 year olds with those things? Is that still normal?

Two : 'females have evolved to advertise their sexual maturity to males.' - are you implying that many/most girls sexually harassed invited it subconsciously by 'advertising their sexual maturity'? Apologies if I have misunderstood

Exactly. Is that Line Jurado? Terrible case.

He was less of a pervert 100's of years ago.

• I don't think it's ever been standard historically for much older men to regularly marry 13 year olds.

Tbf unfortunately men do tend to be drawn to youth in a way women are not.

'It's that nobody getting these feelings can talk about it except with people who feel the same way, so they are completely unable to get any help to stop escalating their behaviour.'

• how would you make it easier to talk about paedophilia though? I see what you mean but it's risky to try to make it more easily discussed imo.

If it makes you feel comforted to call realistic women creeps 😁. No idea why so many other women are so in denial about how a huge number of men feel. I don't think he's at all unusual, just stupid to mention it to someone he's in a relationship with.

In your TV show are the 'cougars' shagging 15/16 year old boys?

This

One: I was describing an evolutionary mechanism, not endorsing behaviour. Puberty is when reproductive capability begins biologically, and humans, like all species, evolved to respond to biological signals of maturity.

But, unlike all other species, humans are not governed by biology alone. We have legal, ethical and social frameworks that rightly protect children. Attraction is not the same thing as appropriate or acceptable behaviour.

And to be absolutely clear: sexual harassment is never invited, justified or caused by someone’s development or appearance.

Two: Describing biological signalling doesn’t imply consent, responsibility or blame. Harassment is always the responsibility of the person committing it.

I think they would need specialist highly confidential clinics. I don't know who deals with them when the are in prison or whether they even get any rehabilitation help there. It's certainly a difficult one.

People suggesting the OP contacts the police about this man’s fantasies. Meanwhile Rupert Lowe has an enquiry going on now about far worse people actually committing paedophilia in the worst possible way that the police ignored, and indeed arrested the victims, not the perpetrators.

In which culture?