Am I in the wrong for wanting to continue yearly holidays with my son but my boyfriend who’s always invited but doesn’t want to come

[Welshmumkate]

So, I have always taken my son on holiday, my boyfriend of a few years isn’t happy. He’s been invited to come with us but says he doesn’t have the money (he earns more than me), anyway, I’ve said I’m not going to stop giving my son memories and will still take him away but now he turns it into an argument all the time? Am I wrong for still wanting to take him away? My mindset is I can always make money but I won’t always have the time. I even booked a trip to the USA for him and he doesn’t want to go … he makes me feel bad and I guess I just want some validation

Now that you have seen it qritten out, when are you dumping him?

First post nails it.

Of course you can take your son on holiday, visit your other son, etc. Does he dictate how you live in any other way?

Don’t feel guilty at being a normal parent, and you’re not being selfish at all.

Dump the boyfriend, waste of space!!

Huge red flags here. It’s fine to have different interests in a relationship, (although I’d admit I’d struggle to be with someone with no interest in holidays at all). But absolutely not fine to make you feel guilty for spending time with your sons, or spending your own money on your own interests. Really controlling and over time it will eat away at your joy and excitement.

Bin him off OP, life’s too short to spend it with miserable men. Especially ones that want to control you and bring you down to their level of misery. Prioritise your son, spend your holiday with him.

What does that man add to your life? He is miserable. He does not like going away/holidays. He is trying to stop you having quality time with your sons, one of which is 11! Not just that, he is sabotaging your joy.

in what way is being with him better than being single?

Of course you should take your little lad on holiday

I take my children on holiday every year. That week is so important to us. They’re 26 and 24.

You should dump him @Welshmumkate

You says it yourself- he’s miserable.

And makes you feel bad for perfectly normal behaviour.

Anyone that tried to stop me taking my child on holiday would be out the door before they could even finish their sentence.

He's entitled to not want to go, that's up to him - he's NOT entitled to not want you to go either.
Please don't not go just because of him, life's too short.
Don't wait around waiting for other people or you'll never do anything and regret it

The person who is being selfish is your partner. What is he frittering his money away on if he can't spare a bit to come on holiday with you.

If he is a "very miserable man" do you actually want him as your boyfriend and in your son's life? It sounds as if all he adds is stress.

If some man was unhappy about me going on holiday with my 11 year old son, or seeing my grown son who was studying abroad, I'd bin him off without a second thought. I wouldn't care if I was 'wrong' because I want to enjoy time with my children and if being 'right' means I can't do that, then fuck it.

but I'd not be with some miseravke old fart who didn't want to go on holiday anyway.

I took my teenage DS on a European trip in October. Boyfriend who doesnt live with us wasn't invited. He did however bring us a guidebook to take with us and show an interest in all our plans. This is normal. Your partner is acting like a selfish twat

Why on Earth are you with someone who is miserable and doesn’t like you or your sons? What possible reason is there for being with him??

🤯

It’s not mandatory to have a useless boyfriend.

Do you want to be with a very miserable man?

Your boyfriend is a weirdo.

Tell your boyfriend to fuck off. Your son is only 11, of course you take him on holiday with you! I’d be rethinking the relationship with someone like this.

You're in abusive relationship.
And if your son is only 11 you'll be potentially introducing this horrible man into your son's life when he is at the very important stage of development.

This is what you should be focusing on not questioning whether you're in the wrong for doing absolutely nothing wrong. It's very clear your boyfriend is trying to manipulate you to get his way. That's what toxic people do all the time.

What an odd man!! Clearly travelling and seeing the world is something you enjoy and is a priority in your personal spending. Whereas he doesn’t want that. This lack of shared interest and world view will really put me off

It's one thing to not want to go anywhere himself but trying to prevent you having any holidays, and knowing that will mean a child misses out too it just really lousy.

What's he like when you go, and when you get back? Guilt trips and sulks?

I don't know why on earth you are inviting him to join you because it sounds like he'd just ruin it for everyone else. I can't imagine he's great company the rest of the time either from what you've said so cut him loose and free yourself up.

get rid! That’s ridiculous of him, your son is 11. If he’d been 21 and your boyfriend wanted to go just the 2 of you I’d have some sympathy but your son is a child, and it seems the boyfriend isn’t wanting a holiday anyway

Sorry but what exactly does he bring to the relationship if he's trying to belittle you in going to visit your older child and go on holiday with your youngest?!

I could understand the opinion if you were massively in debt not affording the basics and spending ££££ on credit cards foe these holidays but anything else nope none of his business!

Maybe tike to throw this one back OP!

Grown man jealous of child = 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

get rid OP

Imagine you're 11. Your mum introduces miserable, manipulative man into your life. A man who brings very little to the table and who she is not dependent on financially. And then she insists on prioritising that man and questioning whether she is right to take you on holiday rather then getting this toxic "boyfriend " out of your life. This is the only thing I can think of when reading your post OP. Sorry.