Am I in the wrong for wanting to continue yearly holidays with my son but my boyfriend who’s always invited but doesn’t want to come

[Welshmumkate]

So, I have always taken my son on holiday, my boyfriend of a few years isn’t happy. He’s been invited to come with us but says he doesn’t have the money (he earns more than me), anyway, I’ve said I’m not going to stop giving my son memories and will still take him away but now he turns it into an argument all the time? Am I wrong for still wanting to take him away? My mindset is I can always make money but I won’t always have the time. I even booked a trip to the USA for him and he doesn’t want to go … he makes me feel bad and I guess I just want some validation

In what way is it selfish?

Your bf is a weirdo....

Your son is 11 of course you go on holiday with him

Is he angling for you to pay for him?

What does he say when you say "i make 30k a year less than you and have saved the money for 2 people to go on holiday. I dont believe you cant afford to come on holiday"
How does he justify / qualify you being "selfish"? Just bizarre ....

I wouldnt have a future with a man like this.
You cant live with him for a decade plus because your child clearly comes first (and he is being a weirdo) and even then he seems to dislike or resent your son.

Also why do you want to shag someone who thinks you are selfish, dont want to interact with your child and doesnt want to build a life with you?

So when are you getting rid of this arsehole boyfriend?

Go on holiday with your son and enjoy it. Dump your knobhead of a boyfriend

I honestly thought you were going to say your son was an adult.
LTB

Weird.. There was was an almost identical thread a while back. The OP’s son lived in Canada and her partner didn’t want them to visit.

Why why why would you want a bf like this, give your head a wobble and ditch

D U M P

Makes me wonder why you are still seeing him ?

I can understand that not everyone likes holidays and travel, but I can't understand why you would want to stay with someone who is miserable. You don't have anything tying you to him. Anyone you spend your free time with should be people who add positivity to your life, not make you miserable.

I’m just always made to feel in the wrong

That ^ sounds abusive, which is worse than just being miserable.

I ask again, what is he adding to your life ?

Same.

I mean, not that you can't or shouldn't go on holiday with your adult dc if you want to, but I am very surprised to read he is only 11, and you are doing normal parenting.

What was it about the very miserable man that first attracted you to him?

Why are you with him? Magic penis?

I would never in a million years date a man that think you should stay at home with his unadventurous miserable arse over taking your young son on holidays to give him the best childhood you can. This man is selfish to the core and will ultimately shrink you into his ways of living. Protect your life with your son and beyond, and get rid of this asshat.

Jesus, I was awaiting the drip feed that OP’s son was middle aged, unemployed and dossing in her spare room smoking weed all day in a pair of soiled y fronts.

But no! The prince among men that is OP’s other half is moody that she wants to take her 11 year old child on holiday, and visit her other child! They should all stay home just because he says so!

OP, this man is a miserable insane controlling fuckwit who will bring nothing to your life but grief and woe. Bin him! And enjoy your travels!

Why are you even with this jealous man child ??

Why are you with a ‘miserable man’?

Youre in the wrong for wanting to continue a relationship with a grumpy old man who doesnt like your children or share the same interests as you. Think youd be much happier without him!

Jeeze lovey, dump the fucker. Dump dump dump and be happy.

Mum rule no 1, kids come first. Rule 2 kids come first, guess where this is going for rule 3?
Your kids will always be your kids, men come and go, and by your own admission your man is miserable, thank god he said he won't go with, you can all have a lovely time, ditch the man he's not worth the trouble. 💕

Potentially lots at play, resents son, that's unacceptable, willing for son to lose out so he doesn't lose out on sex/maid service or whatever also unacceptable. Not liking holidays so no one else gets one? I hope there isn't other ways he's negative to your son. Son is 11 and BF resents him having a holiday, I don't like him OP.

Your twat of a partner is making you feel in the wrong for visiting your DS and taking your younger son on holiday. Why the fuck are you still with this prick? Your kids come first every time - misery guts can go fuck himself.

Make lovely memories with your DC and kick this miserable fucker to the kerb. Don’t waste your life with a man who resents you spending time with your kids.

Oh blimey I had a boyfriend like this. Always complained but never wanted to come away with us and to be fair I think he'd have just ruined the holiday for my kids anyway with his moaning. It was upsetting for me at first but I took the kids away and we had loads of fun. A year or so later and I am no longer with the bloke. It was clear our lives weren't compatible and we wanted different things. I'm glad I stuck to my guns and put my kids first making sure they had a nice holiday. I know it isn't easy when you want some kind of adult company and relationship but it doesn't sound like he's the right person for you.

@Welshmumkate does your boyfriend do things that scare and intimidate you?

Good for your kids to see each other too.

He sounds very unadventurous and boring. What does he add to your life?