Am I in the wrong for wanting to continue yearly holidays with my son but my boyfriend who’s always invited but doesn’t want to come

[Welshmumkate]

So, I have always taken my son on holiday, my boyfriend of a few years isn’t happy. He’s been invited to come with us but says he doesn’t have the money (he earns more than me), anyway, I’ve said I’m not going to stop giving my son memories and will still take him away but now he turns it into an argument all the time? Am I wrong for still wanting to take him away? My mindset is I can always make money but I won’t always have the time. I even booked a trip to the USA for him and he doesn’t want to go … he makes me feel bad and I guess I just want some validation

A miserable man who wants to deprive you and your son of fun and can't save money. Get rid before you get any deeper into this relationship. Imagine how shit life will be if you live with him after your sons have flown the nest.

Well, even if her son was an adult, it would be fine for OP to go away with her son, i think, not up to the partner. My neighbour’s son who is early thirties now goes away a week every year with her - the son is now married but she was a single parent and I think it’s nice.
For an eleven year old, it should not be a question even, which I guess is your point.

Why you with a miserable man?

No, you're not in the wrong, of course you're not. Go on your holidays and don't let him suck the fun out of it.

I still take my kids on an annual holiday/break if they're available, and they still like to come. And they're in their late thirties, partnered up, and in one case, with kids! I've progressively had to look for larger holiday homes!

There's barely been a year when one/both/all of them haven't had a holiday with me, as well as holidays of their own.

So yes, I couldn't be with someone like your boyfriend.

Your boyfriend resents you taking your 11-year-old on holiday???

Why on earth have you not dumped this whinging cunt?

Why on earth are you giving him the time of day regarding this? (Or at all if this is a reasonable snap shot of his involvement in your life?)

I think you should consider taking some time out from dating and instead develope your sense of self a bit. (Unless, maybe, you've just posted because you're bored and do not actually, in any way, wonder if he may have a point? I really hope it's this.).

Sometimes I holiday with the dcs
sometimes (mostly) I holiday with DP
sometimes we all holiday together

and this is exactly how it should be and no one should be pissed off at any of the options

unless I’m planning a sex themed holiday with another man DP is happy to let me carry on and vice versa

Jesus, get rid of this man. Why are you tolerating this?

Why do you stay with this jerk? Seriously… why?

I thought your son was about 25 - and that would still be fine. But he's 11! Your partner is a jealous man-child. You need to get rid.

Bin the boring controlling twat! And enjoy making memories with your boy 🥰

So why are you with him if he's a very miserable man??!!

Op the fact you even need to ask is worrying! Your son comes first no matter what, ditch the whinging bf

Even if you didn't have any children at all, and he resented you wanting to go away, that would still be arseholery on his part.

So your boyfriend is jealous and mean about you wanting to spend time and money with your son and goes into a strop about it.

Why isn't he an Ex already? Don't waste any more headspace on this loser.

Now you know that’s not ok. You don’t need us to tell you that. Question is, what are you going to do about it?

Honestly there’s literally daily threads at the moment where women are tolerating absolutely shitty men and constantly asking ‘is it me who is wrong’

We really need to educate girls from a young age to know their worth and not settle for useless fuckers.

Being singje is a million times better than accepting crap from one of these specimens.

So you can see 'how it looks' and you describe him as a miserable man. You don't live together and he seems to want to distance you from your own children. Tell us something good about this man! Why ARE you with him?

Dump the miserable bastard who doesn’t want your 11yo to have holidays, as fast as you can! Preferably by text.

YABU to invite him on your family holiday though because it doesn’t sound like he is particularly close to either child so why should your kids have to deal with this unrelated male hovering around?

It makes it even worse that he doesn’t want you to go at all.

Exactly and to have this type of man around her kids is just ridiculous.

It doesn't sound like you're compatible. Personally, I couldn't be with a man who didn't own a passport. You like travel, he doesn't, I think that's a deal breaker.

Its wild that he thinks that his opinion about a holiday that by his own request he isn’t included in is relevant!

Does he have a reason why he doesn’t think that you should go? Looking at your post it can’t be relationship (you’re going with your son), money (you don’t share finances) or jealousy (he’s been invited and said no).

I think you need to ask yourself why you want to have this man in your child’s life. He doesn’t sound like a positive influence at all and in fact seems to want to keep you from seeing your older son.

Omg I thought you were going to say your son was 30. What does this relationship actually add to your life because it’s so odd that another adult would have a problem with someone taking a young child on holiday. If you fast forward the clock 10 years and your youngest is off doing his own thing do you actually have any common interests with your BF?