Am I in the wrong for wanting to continue yearly holidays with my son but my boyfriend who’s always invited but doesn’t want to come

[Welshmumkate]

So, I have always taken my son on holiday, my boyfriend of a few years isn’t happy. He’s been invited to come with us but says he doesn’t have the money (he earns more than me), anyway, I’ve said I’m not going to stop giving my son memories and will still take him away but now he turns it into an argument all the time? Am I wrong for still wanting to take him away? My mindset is I can always make money but I won’t always have the time. I even booked a trip to the USA for him and he doesn’t want to go … he makes me feel bad and I guess I just want some validation

Knob jockey.

Dump him,then get packing with DS.

Why do you want to inflict your miserable resentful excuse for a boyfriend on your poor 11 year old when you take him on holiday?

My MIL got with a man who was massively resentful that she had children and loved them and wanted to see them. She moved him in and he was so miserable and rude when we weren’t to visit her. Made her sad and she would try to make excuses for him.

We understood she was lonely and tolerated him but we could see she was upset that we didn’t want to visit. I promise we were warm and welcoming to him but it was hard! We had small babies and he hated the noise and disruption when we visited. Hated her coming to see us. We only had a spare single bed so had to give them our room as he insisted on coming with her even though he was miserable the whole time. He even moaned when she came over after I gave birth and I suggested it was better she came alone due to space. (She was 3 hrs away)

She wouldn’t end it with him as she couldn’t bear being alone. We hated seeing her being made to feel uncomfortable for her perfectly ordinary wishes to see her children and grandchildren. And her two were adults with their own families so were not dependent on her for their happiness.

Who is more important to you and who deserves you to put them first? BF or son?

Ditch the misery guts and enjoy your holidays with your son. It's worrying you even need to ask.

Wow why are you with someone who thinks that you’re selfish taking your 11yr old child on holiday. What does this man bring to your life?

Dump him. Your family is so much more important than this arse @Welshmumkate . WTF is he moaning about you taking your 11yo child on holiday! I thought you must be talking about an adult son.

Your dependent child is far more entitled to your money than this adult loser.

Time with your children is so precious!!

Dump this jealous piece of garbage!!

He wants you to fit into his small life and accept the role he wants you to fill. How dare you have other plans or other people to focus on!!

He gives me the major ick, OP!! 🤢

Please dump him, enjoy your freedom, continue to have fun with your DC.

If my DH of over 30 years took this attitude I’d push back hard. What on earth are you doing staying with someone who is miserable and controlling?

This is very simple. Just end it.

Why are you still with him? What a nasty person.

why are you with him???

couldn’t be more obvious he needs to go

So he doesn’t want to go on holiday ( his boring choice). What does he expect you to do? Just stay home being miserable ? Let me guess , he doesn’t plan nice things for you to do instead of going away ?
I would not be continuing this relationship.

I don’t even understand why you would want this miserable fucker on holiday with you.

How dare he tell you that you shouldn’t be seeing older DS or taking younger DS away? Who the hell does he think he is?

Is he weird and controlling in other ways? What are you getting out of this set up?

I would seriously reconsider the relationship. He sounds unpleasant and yes a red flag for me too.

This absolutely.

Your boyfriend is trying to control you. Why is he still your boyfriend. Get rid of him and enjoy making memories with your kids.

I have found it very useful to think, “if I was looking for a relationship, what would I actively want?”

In your situation, would it be a selfish, miserable man who gets annoyed when you have holidays with your son or visit your eldest?

For me it was, do I want a liar who calls me names and tells me my dress sense is terrible?

If it’s not what you would have actively looked for, don’t settle for it just because you’re already together.

You deserve better.

Stop inviting him along OP - he'll ruin it by being a miserable fucker. Just dump him and enjoy your life!

He is being very controlling to you and mean to your son trying to deprive him of a holiday. Also preventing you from seeing your other son. Is he controlling in other aspects of your relationship? Massive red flag. What does he bring to your relationship? Stand up for yourself and tell him you ARE going on holiday and if he doesn't like it he will have to suck it up or the relationship ends.

genuinely baffled why you would this OP - do you have very low self esteem?

He sounds so miserable. Chuck him back.

This

He doesn’t sound as if he brings you much joy. Leave before your lives become too emeshed.

Get rid of the boyfriend. He will probably start to tell you other things he doesn't like you doing, you should be free to do what you want with your children without him sticking his oar in.

So you are selfish for doing a totally normal thing, to which he is invited but desist want to go….yeah, he’s a miserable knob. Why are you with him if he’s trying to bully you about this?