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Original poster

Are you married to the love of your life?

201 replies

GoldenGirl85 · 04/02/2026 12:28

There’s been lots of discussion around whether men actually marry the women they love or whether they marry the person who‘s in the picture when they’re ready to marry/good for marriage and I wanted to see if it’s the same for women.

How many of us would actually say we’re married to the love of their lives? Or maybe you don’t believe in the love of your life but you are deeply in love with the person you’ve married.

I’ll go first. I’m happily married but my husband is not the loml. I’ve had two great loves but neither of them would have been good for marriage. The first one, cheated relentlessly but other than that major flaw our relationship was wonderful and the second, we would have had serious financial issues. This guy was always investing in some get rich quick scheme and never wanted to work a proper job. He was lots of fun but could never offer stability.

OP posts:
NovemberMorn · 04/02/2026 18:59

I haven't had many lovers, but my previous ones were not a patch on my husband.
Had I had him as a lover and lost him, maybe I would think I had lost the love of my life.
As it is, we married, and I realise that love grows...first came the lust, then the love grew....oftentimes I think when lust fades, there isn't that much left.

Livemenot · 04/02/2026 19:43

MapleOakPine · 04/02/2026 12:35

I don't believe in soulmates or that there's one right person or anything like that. But I am married to the man I have loved most in my life (by a long way!).

I have the same opinion.
Personally, I’ve been in the relationship with my husband for 12 years and love him. Not sure about the soulmate thing.

Paisleybuddy · 04/02/2026 19:48

Certainly am.

GottaPoint · 04/02/2026 20:00

Not married but getting married this year. 11 years together, 2 children and yes he’s the love of my life. Life has its ups and downs but honestly couldn’t imagine being with anyone else. He’s it for me as I am for him.

Nervousb2b · 04/02/2026 20:02

Yes!

sassyclassyandsmartassy · 04/02/2026 20:02

Yes. Took me a good 32 years to find him, but glad I did, he really is my very best friend too. He made me believe there is such a thing as soulmates.

petiteoeuf · 04/02/2026 20:05

I don’t believe in soulmates but a decade in and I’m married to the best, kindest, funniest person I’ve ever known.

Morrisdancer24 · 04/02/2026 20:08

I met the loml at 20. He was older and just out a marriage. We dated, I fell madly in love, he didnt. He ended things. I moved on, moved away and got into another LT relationship but knew it wasn't for me. After 6 years, I moved back to my home town again. We got back in touch within 2 weeks. That was nearly 20 years ago, and now we have 3 children together. My heart was always his. It just took a while to figure out that his heart was always mine too.

godmum56 · 04/02/2026 20:14

Am widowed now but yes I was the love of his life and he was the love of mine.

butternut123 · 04/02/2026 20:14

Yes I am and I’m so thankful for this every day.

godmum56 · 04/02/2026 20:15

petiteoeuf · 04/02/2026 20:05

I don’t believe in soulmates but a decade in and I’m married to the best, kindest, funniest person I’ve ever known.

I know that soulmates exist but not sure that everyone is lucky enough to find theirs

Rayqueen2026 · 04/02/2026 20:17

If you don't believe in soul mates then you really haven't found the right one..yes with the love of my life married,kids and he can still give me butterflies or make me stupidly grin when I know he is coming home from work. He is literally everything to me and a totally different love you feel for mr right and kids

CurlewKate · 04/02/2026 20:30

Rayqueen2026 · 04/02/2026 20:17

If you don't believe in soul mates then you really haven't found the right one..yes with the love of my life married,kids and he can still give me butterflies or make me stupidly grin when I know he is coming home from work. He is literally everything to me and a totally different love you feel for mr right and kids

it’s bonkers to believe that soul mates exist-there are 8 billion people in the world. Nobody would ever meet theirs!

WineBeforeWhine · 04/02/2026 20:31

I married my soulmate, am still learning to live without him, it’s bloody hard losing someone you love so deeply.

WhatIsTheCharge · 04/02/2026 20:38

Yes.
Absolutely.
This is my second marriage though.
And it was when we got serious that I realised that this is actually what real, deep, romantic love feels like….and what I had with exH was more like a strong friendship.
I should also add that I was very young (barely a legal adult really) when I married exH, so I guess that was just what I thought love was at that point in life, I don’t know.
But I do know that my marriage to DH feels completely different to that. He is my best friend…..but he also makes me feel giddy. He makes me feel beautiful and sexy and heard - and I’d never felt any of those things in my first marriage. I can’t imagine my life without DH in it.

Kerri44 · 04/02/2026 20:38

I'm married to the LOML, known each other 33yrs, both married other people, nothing there but mates, met again 13yrs ago.....we now have 2 kids, house, married 9yrs

Ihaveoflate · 04/02/2026 20:39

He is/was the one great love of my life and I wouldn't have married him if I hadn't believed that.

I was very much in love for the first ten years and then something happened to change that. We're still married but I've grieved for the love we once had.

PurpleReindeer2 · 04/02/2026 20:45

Yes. Nearly 30 years now and I still love him very much. 🥰

silverstorm101 · 04/02/2026 21:02

Just celebrated 25 years married, he's my best friend and he drives me crackers but I couldn't imagine my life without him. We have 7 (yes 7) wonderful children and I know how very very lucky I am 🥰

JoanChitty · 04/02/2026 21:11

Mr Chitty is definitely the love of my life. He is a wonderful husband, father and grandfather. We’ve been together for 46 years and married for nearly 41.
I was lucky to find him.

Mumof2wifeof1crazytimes · 04/02/2026 21:24

My DH is the love of my life, loved him from the moment I met him.

MySweetGeorgina · 04/02/2026 21:34

I married the only person in could ever be married to

the weirdest thing is that i am not very romantic and did not even believe in this kind of love until it happened

30 years on…

godmum56 · 04/02/2026 21:36

WineBeforeWhine · 04/02/2026 20:31

I married my soulmate, am still learning to live without him, it’s bloody hard losing someone you love so deeply.

same here. I am sorry for your loss. May his memory eventually become a blessing

godmum56 · 04/02/2026 21:39

CurlewKate · 04/02/2026 20:30

it’s bonkers to believe that soul mates exist-there are 8 billion people in the world. Nobody would ever meet theirs!

Show quote history

I think if you haven't experienced it, I get why you don't believe it could exist. I have no idea how it works and absolutely understand that not everybody gets theirs. All I can say is that it does exist.

Doggymummar · 04/02/2026 21:42

I'm not dead yet so how do I know?