DH losing his driving license

[Cheesehoundrosie]

I have just found out that DH has lost his driving licence. He received a letter last February but didn't respond to it. We then moved house , he didn't redirect his post. Unknown to him, court case went ahead last November, and his points total resulted in a ban. We were informed by his barrister when he was in court on Friday on another motoring offence. To make things even worse, the car involved in the February offence was being driven by his ex girlfriend - he was leasing the car on her behalf. I am beyond furious and have told him this is a deal breaker. I can't see a way back from this and he is making arrangements to move out. I'm completely in a spin and would welcome any thought on the next steps, should we legally separate?

Ex from how long ago?

So hes in court on motoring offences recently but the ones from last feb were his ex gfs but you are now married ?

He’s obviously screwed up by not being on top of his post etc and presumably he had points previously, but I think getting divorced is quite an extreme move unless there are other issues.

Only you can decide whether it's a deal breaker, but how long have you been married and how ex is the ex? Has he explained why he ignored the Feb letter?

When did you marry? How long ago was the ex not an ex? And why was she driving his car, why are they even in contact?

Sorry, he was in court for a different motoring offence?!

We married in 2023 after being together since 2021. I knew he was friends with his ex but had no idea he was doing this.

How did he get points from his ex’s driving?

I’d be absolutely livid if my partner lost his licence because he was driving like a twat. I’d leave him if he’d fucked up so monumentally that he couldn’t manage his own admin enough that he’d lost his licence and only found out when he was in court for something else. Madness.

Is it the driving licence you’re livid about? Or the paperwork being ballsed up? Or the girlfriend?
without a bit more info, it’s very hard to understand why you are so angry

Were they married? Are there kids involved?

Is she the mother of his kids so some reason like that? If not none of this makes sense.

and I guess he was in court as well as the motoring offence for driving without a licence as he was banned? If not even be happy with that part for starters let alone the ex part.

He got the points as he was leasing the vehicle in his name, but she was driving\using it.

I guess he ignored the letter rather that stating who the driver actually was.

Is that even allowed?

They were not married and no children.

What's the deal breaker for you? Him leasing the car or losing his licence?

So why on earth was he leasing her a car?

So why did he say an ex had his car then? Does she know about you?

Has the loss of licence meant he’s lost his job?

Surely she should have got the points as she committed the offence? As he failed to declare that, it sounds like he could be in even more trouble with the law.

Both. I am massively pissed off he was leasing the car and I find
d it difficult to respect someone who can't do basic life admin, and keeps accumulating points especially as we live in a rural area.

I don't know why he agreed the lease, he said he wanted to help her🙄. There may be other explanations such as it not being an ex relationship.

What do you like about this man OP?

So you never saw the car at yours? He was paying for it and just handed the keys to her? Has he explained WHY he did it?

I can see you'd struggle getting over that but I'm not sure I'd end a marriage over losing a licence, but that's just me. Presumably you can drive?