DH losing his driving license

[Cheesehoundrosie]

I have just found out that DH has lost his driving licence. He received a letter last February but didn't respond to it. We then moved house , he didn't redirect his post. Unknown to him, court case went ahead last November, and his points total resulted in a ban. We were informed by his barrister when he was in court on Friday on another motoring offence. To make things even worse, the car involved in the February offence was being driven by his ex girlfriend - he was leasing the car on her behalf. I am beyond furious and have told him this is a deal breaker. I can't see a way back from this and he is making arrangements to move out. I'm completely in a spin and would welcome any thought on the next steps, should we legally separate?

Um...........

It seems to me that anyone who loses their driving licence in particular under 'totting up' has some sort of a screw loose.

Its compounded by the fact that you live in a rural area with presumably limited public transport

Then of course there is his ex who doesnt sound like an upstanding member of society

He doesnt sound like someone to grow old with

@JustBitetheKnotsOff

I cant understand why he is taking the hit for his ex though. I wouldnt do that for anyone, not even the husband.

He isn’t taking a hit for his ex. He is taking a hit for not responding to a notice of intended prosecution.

OP - When someone shows you who they are, believe them. It sounds like you don't even know him, you just know a version of him that he has portrayed. I'd leave.

He has lied to you about more than the car/driving issues. Also, he is unreliable, you cannot trust him with money, let alone his own life. Marriage is about total trust, that includes all of life's ups and downs.

He is not a trustworthy person, he is not a good person. Ducks in a row headed towards Divorce in my opinion.

Because he didn't open his post or get it redirected, by the sound of it, so he didn't know he was taking the rap for the offence until recently.

Or he's lying, of course, and he was actually the one driving.

Many thanks for all the comments, some have been very helpful. He is moving out and I will be seeing a solicitor shortly. I don't think I can stay married to someone I can't trust.

Oh no, this sounds awful. He’s very, dry weak and unlikely to change. I feel certain you can do better.

He untrustworthy and a liability.

Having someone like this in one’s life is utterly exhausting. You end up waiting for the next inevitable disaster.

He's not trustworthy. He's hiding things from you. Are you sure he wasn't driving the car - with some offences photographic evidence is available? If you don't have children, I'd think long and hard about staying with a man who could behave like this. It all boils down to trust and whether you can endure living with uncertainty.

Well done OP.
A year from now you will be so pleased and relieved at your bravery.
Hard now, but so much better in the long run.

Glad to hear it OP, you deserve so much better.