I want to stop claiming CB but DH doesn't want me to - am I being unfair?

[JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff]

I earn over the high income threshold for CB, which means we - well, I - need to pay it all back each year.

I am the sole earner so this basically creates a situation where I have a bonus £3k bill at the end of every year. We manage it but it is stressful as our mortgage has gone up recently plus obviously cost of living. Frankly I had rather just not claim it at all.

DH wants me to because he says if I do, I can then transfer the NI credits and they can help him with his pension in future. But I think I can stay registered for CB, get the credits, but not receive the payments and therefore avoid having that big bill.

For context - dh and I have a lot of issues and I think it is likely we will split at some point. Also, now I am sole earner, our financial margins are really tight. We cover a big mortgage, have no debt, provide activities for the kids, and save a little each month. But it's also rigidly budgeted and a big shock like one of the cars getting written off, or a couple of expensive house problems, would really hurt us.

Am I wrong/ unfair?

I’m not sure about how transferring works but I claim CB for the NI credits only, which I’m not even sure I need if I work 🤷🏻‍♀️

But you definitely don’t need to be getting the money to get the NI credits.

Can you transfer the entire claim to his name?

You can get it taken PAYE which is much easier. Just call HMRC. Just make sure you check how much will come out each month as they adjust based on how much of the year is left to start.

As the SAHP he should claim CB though obviously in a split depending on the children’s age as main carer there is that to consider though I think 50/50 is becoming more usual.

Yabu. If he isn't working, your dh needs the NI credits for his state pension. You can opt out of receiving the payments.

He should get the cb, you should pay it back in your tax

thats always the recommendation for SAHM made on here.

also, I’m not sure how you’re struggling with a tax bill for repaying if when you’ve had the payments all year. Just don’t spend them, surely…

If he is not working and doing childcare he needs to be claiming the CHB.

It is very unfair of you to be claiming it when you don't need the national insurance credits and he does.

Hi i just wanted to add if you do split who receives the cb becomes important, I would get some impartial advice before you transfer to your husband.

Why isn't your DH working? I thought the usual advice was if someone wasn't working they should claim the benefits in their name precisely for the NI credits? why do you want to deprive him of that option?

Yeah so I want him to do it in his own name! But he won't. Unclear why. He gets weirdly resistant about random stuff

Men have been called financially abusive on here for doingbthat

But that is exactly what I am saying.

It's not unfair of me, I don't want to be doing it! The arrangement is historic as he used to work and we earnt closer to each other. I want to rectify this, he doesn't.

I remember doing some forms when DD was a baby where you say you don't need it but continue to receive NI credits

I don't! I want us to stay "signed up" but in HIS name so he can get the credits but not claim the actual money. So we don't have a bill at year's end

Sorry if that wasn't clear

You’re absolutely right: he can claim and select “no payment” so he gets NI credits and there is nothing to pay back. Just cancel your claim and if he refuses to set one up himself that’s his choice. 🤷🏻‍♀️ It sounds like he’s expecting you to sort it all out for him as though he is a child himself. 🙄

Get the forms to make the change to DH being the claimant so he gets the credits and do whatever is needed to not get the payments. You don’t need this extra hassle.
He doesn’t seem to be taking responsibility for sorting it out or helping you, so he doesn’t get to call the shots.

You’re absolutely right. He needs to do the paperwork and opt out of payments. If a split is on the cards you’re in a very tricky spot if the children are young and he’d be considered the primary carer.

Yes that is exactly it. He wants the CB for his pension (fair) but wants it to be in my name so I do the admin, sort the bill etc

This is a him problem. DH wants the credits and there’s a system in place for him to get that without the need for admin on your part. If he wants the credits he can do the admin or he doesn’t get them. Him not wanting to do something doesn’t make it your problem to solve.

I am a stay at home mum with a high earning husband.

what you need to do is register each child when born with the child benefit people and then you can opt to not receive payments but I still receive full NI stamps until youngest is 12 years old

@AnneLovesGilbert to be fair, he IS the primary carer and in a split I would just have to suck it up. I don't think it is imminent but it is probable at some point.

You don’t even need to discuss it with him OP. Just cancel your payment (easy to opt out of the payments on the HMRC app). If you don’t want the admin of the NI credits, you could cancel the whole application, or apply on his behalf. That will cancel your claim.

You aren’t actually opposed to him claiming. You're opposed to the admin of it, which I think is fair enough. The admin should be limited to you calling HMRC and setting it up as PAYE.

If a split is probable but not imminent i think he should claim CB but you pay through PAYE. It mean he’s already done that and you’re already used to it being taken from source if you split. Let’s be honest, he’d had no problem setting up the admin if you did split so he can do it now.

I might be being dense here but if it's in your name surely he won't get the NI credits anyway?

@Gasbox you can transfer them retrospectively, that's what he wants me to do.

@WhereIsMyLight sorry but I genuinely don't get the benefit of what you're saying. So we receive CB payment - HMRC takes it straight back out? Why wouldn't we just not get the payment in the first place?