I want to stop claiming CB but DH doesn't want me to - am I being unfair?

[JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff]

I earn over the high income threshold for CB, which means we - well, I - need to pay it all back each year.

I am the sole earner so this basically creates a situation where I have a bonus £3k bill at the end of every year. We manage it but it is stressful as our mortgage has gone up recently plus obviously cost of living. Frankly I had rather just not claim it at all.

DH wants me to because he says if I do, I can then transfer the NI credits and they can help him with his pension in future. But I think I can stay registered for CB, get the credits, but not receive the payments and therefore avoid having that big bill.

For context - dh and I have a lot of issues and I think it is likely we will split at some point. Also, now I am sole earner, our financial margins are really tight. We cover a big mortgage, have no debt, provide activities for the kids, and save a little each month. But it's also rigidly budgeted and a big shock like one of the cars getting written off, or a couple of expensive house problems, would really hurt us.

Am I wrong/ unfair?

I don't know what you're talking about but the money does not belong to the family, it has to be paid back so he should not spend it.

On every thread with a SAHM she’s told that she should get the child benefit, it’s money to be spent on the kids, and her working husband should pay the tax. Why is this different?

If you're the one paying the bills at the moment, can't you pay them from your own account, that he doesn't have access to, rather than put money on the joint account so he doesn't drain it? Why is he not working by te way?

Because she isn't entitled to it because of her level of earnings and it has to be paid back at the end of the tax year.

It is never their money in the first place. The husband wants her to claim it so he can spend it and make her pay for his overspending and maxed out credit card.

It's all in the thread, if you read it.

This is what I do now, albeit I don't have to pay everything back only around half so worth still claiming. If my income goes up again I'll stop but my DH also works full time so doesn't need to NI credits. Transfer the CB to his name as credits only no payment, he gets his credits then and if you split he'll be able to claim the money.

As a stay at home parent for over a decade I'm super glad for those NI credit I got, thanks to claiming CB, as it means I'm in line for a full state pension when I retire.

Is DH a SAHD? If so, yes you need to do this to protect his right to a full state pension. It’s annoying but it’s important.

It's a long time ago since I filled out the form to opt out of payments, but I think it was simply ticking a box.
I'd get it done ASAP and move on.

You’re not understanding

a SAHM is always told she’s entitled to that money for her and the kids, and yes the husband pays it back in tax but that’s always stated as being right and fair. I don’t know why that’s not being said in this case…

But that doesn't make any sense. How can you transfer the credits to him, its in your name?

You don't even have to tell him. Just change it and opt out of the money.

I'd probably not want him to claim it tbh, if you split up, you might be the one to leave and pay him maintenance because he's a SAHP.

He's taking the piss though. You don't have littlies and there's fuck all stopping him getting a job.

If they get to keep some of the CB due to earning less than £80k then it makes sense for the lower/non earner to claim and get the money and then pay some back via the higher earner

Once the income goes over £80k it can make more sense/be easier to claim CB but opt out of getting the money as that still gives the NI credits to the lower/non earner

Please don’t give tax advice if you’re not qualified to do so. The high income child benefit charge is based on the income of the higher earner in the household. It does not matter who claims, if one person earns over the threshold, they would still have to pay the tax charge.

Omg, If you are the sole earner and he is the stay at home parent, HE needs to be claiming the child benefit. There is no way to transfer the NI credits (NICs) to him if you are claiming it

There is SO much wrong information on this thread, this included. Why do people just make shit up when they clearly have no clue. Just stay in your fucking lane and only give advice on things you're actually knowledgeable about.

You can EASILY transfer your CB NI credits to your partner without faffing about trying to change who claims CB. It's totally normal and it takes ten minutes online.

And also @SummerFeverVenice , this would be such a huge waste of money. There is zero need to be payimg NICs if there are dc under 12 in the house. Fgs.

You should also pay voluntary NICs for any months that he has been a stay at home parent with you the sole earner and thus has missed out on the Child Benefit NICs

You need to have a good reason to transfer NICs retrospectively from person A to person B if it goes beyond recent months
No you don't! You're asked for 'a' reason. 'I have only just become aware these credits can be transferred' is routinely accepted.

It’s not an automatically approved thing. He can’t decide to do this deliberately, for years
Yes, he can 😂 There is literally guidance on the gov website about doing this annually.

The more I read, the worse the misimformation gets. You could literally be causing people long term financial harm here @SummerFeverVenice, it's immensely unfair.

Op, please ignore everything from this poster because it's all flat out incorrect.

All you are saying is that SAHMs are demanding more money from the person earning the money to pay for the household. That may or may not be fair, it depends entirely on each household.

But if the household doesn't qualify for CM, then it doesn't qualify and calling it CM in the household budget is a complete nonsense.

This husband might need that money or he might not, we don't really have enough information to know. He seems just to spend whatever he can get his hands on!

Surely you’d claim it and save it and send it back to preserve your tax free allowance and the credits he’s worried about.

And earn interest on it that way!

Urgh! What a faff! I had a 5k tax bill for the same reason the year before last and I opted out. So not worth it. If you’re earning the money, claiming the benefit and paying the tax bill then do what works for you. He can do whatever once you’ve sorted your side of it.

Him taking the child benefit that you’re not entitled to as a household because it needs to be paid back, spending it and leaving you with repaying it is financial abuse OP. But - it is within your control. Just cancel the payments but keep your claim live. Easily solved.

My OH’s income falls between the threshold lower and upper limits, so I claim it and keep it in an account until the tax return is done and then we know how much can be kept and how much we need to pay back. It’s a really shit system but it is what it is, we can’t change it.

In the time it has taken to read this thread (with its handy sprinkling of flat out incorrect tax advice) you could have ten times cancelled the CB in your name, got your DH to put it in his name and tick the box saying he doesn't actually want to take the money due to high income charge. It's all very easily done online without the need for unnecessary discussion or faffery.
Full NICs for him, no tax bill for you. Simples.

Incredible

on other threads the husband not allowing the SAHM to keep the cb while he pays the tax is shouted at as abuse. Now the SAHH is abusive if he does exactly that.

@HangryMoose fair, but the point is, I am trying to be equitable and fair. I wouldn't make joint financial decisions on my own. So I suggested it to DH - he said no - I wanted to ensure I wasn't in the wrong so posted here.

Which has been helpful and after having time to think it through, thanks to this thread, I'm re-addressing it with him.

@Adelle79360 he isn't abusive, but, I think his behaviour sometimes ends up being... I don't know how to phrase it.... "accidentally verging on abusive"?

He neglects things to the point they become a big problem for others, and he has weird areas he is very controlling about, like food. But this behaviour is almost certainly not deliberate. I think I could write a lot of it off as endearing eccentricities, but he's done a couple of things that have permanently killed any romantic feelings I had, and I think without that intimacy to smooth things, it is much harder to let stuff go.

This!! We just put it straight into a separate account with a good interest rate and pay it back when it’s due