Head turned

[BeMauveOrca]

I have a need for a female perspective on a situation I find myself in.

for context, I have been with DW for 20 years, but over the past couple of years it has been purely platonic.
here’s what’s started to do my head in. A mum at one of my son’s sports clubs has taken a beeline to me. It started with a friendly smile and hello, but has progressed to her insisting on walking back to the car park with me and our respective children in tow. This happened again yesterday and I couldn’t get her out of my head last night. Am I reading too much into this?

No one here can tell you why she wants to talk to you. If you really need to know ask her. But does it really matter? If you are concerned about appearing to be having an affair with her, stop talking to her. Just walk away. If you are being kind and concerned that she may be falling in love with you, just tell her you are married. Or if you are looking here for someone to tell you the woman clearly wants to have a relationship with you, to give you a green light to start one with her, do as the PP said and get a divorce. Then you can try to start as many relationships while you have your child with you as you like.

He was just responding to people calling him a creep

This.
🙄

The irony is clearly lost on one of us. You talk of entitlement, and yet you are comfortable to paint an entire sex with the same brush stroke. You will never catch me say things like "well all women are like that" or "this is what women are like". You literally in the same sentence put down that shame is non-existent in my sex. That's just beautiful. I should be ashamed for daring to say that not all men are like OP, but it is completely fine to say that all of my sex is just like that. It's fine.
I will admit it was a simple, absolutely non-important throwaway line that I dared to shoot this way, but I had no intention to trigger anyone with it. To get so offended and so combative over something so simple that never even said anything about women at all, but my own sex, is mind-blowing to me.
Also, not sure if you noticed, but the tagline for mumsnet is by parents for parents. But you are right "ugh, go away" is the right attitude instead of conversations.

Men like this come here for attention from ‘the ladies’. It’s best not to give them any. Even negative attention is good for creepy men.

You’re asking a group of (primarily) women if you are in with a shot of cheating on your wife? Why don’t you go and have a conversation with your wife and either split up with her or sort your problems? She might be desperate to shag someone else but not be doing it because she honours her marriage vows whilst you’re getting as exciting as a Labrador puppy because a woman walked to your car with you. Why on earth would you want to bring another person with small children into the mess? Crazy.

Again, go away. Rather than spending your time attempting to chastise women for not wanting to have anything to do with men on account of, you know, misogyny, violence, harassment etc., why don’t you put some effort into some campaigning or activism to combat the above? Oh yeah, because LIKE ALL MEN, it is far easier to chastise women for responding to their direct experiences of harmful male behaviour than it is to tell men to stop. Shameful behaviour. And again: this is MUMSNET. Go away.

She may fancy you or she may just find you easy to chat to. It's not really the point though is it? The point is that you 'head is turned' by the slightest interest from a woman. You need to decide if your marriage is important enough to save or whether you've checked out and want to separate

That is, special @KatsPJs , wow. Have a lovely rest of your day.

@Weareeee you say:
"Man 2 feels the need to tell us namalt and is immediately angry and surprised when people aren’t grateful for his input."

And you are a 100% comfortable writing it down like this, even though the history of all message are right there, for anyone to see? Yes, I said namalt, and trust me when I say I wish I didn't, because I never knew it was such a trigger point, but lesson learned. It was just a throwaway line reflecting to that handful of comments that were wondering if men think like this, nothing more.... But to say that I got angry and surprised when people weren't grateful is just a blatant lie, factually incorrect. I only responded to unprovoked attacks on me personally.
Because for some reason that immediately branded me as a creep. Please, don't expect people to not respond to things like that. - Not telling you what to do, before we start again...

Try asking her. And tell her you are married. Not every woman who speaks to you wants to shag you, so stop with the fantasy nonsense.

All the women you are chatting to on the sex board are probably men. HTH.

Men telling us they’re not creeps and not a problem whilst acting creepy and being the problem. 🤔

Maybe...

She likes you and feels comfortable chatting to you

You were just the closest person to her one day, she started talking to you and now you're the person she gravitates towards because you're the one she 'knows'

You have a similar personality to her husband/partner and so feel familiar

You gelled conversationally

You seem apppoachable

She's insecure and doesn't feel confident around the other women, feels a bit on the outside and so she feels she's 'found her tribe' in that context with you

She's assumed you're married and so you feel safe

She's a 'pick me' and latches on to any male attention because she values it more than female attention

She's in an unhappy marriage and is superficially yattracted to the fact you seem interested in her (as a person not sexually)

She fancies you.

It could be any of these or more I haven't thought of.

Her motivation is really irrelevant to you, though, because you're married. If you're not happy in your marriage, then address that. Don't start fantasising about a random mum at your kids' club 🙄

"cheer up/give us a smile love" etc etc.

I'm now worrying about the nice chats I've had in the library at rhyme time with one of the dads. 😬 I shall stick to talking about toddler sleep to those of my own species from now on, lest "he's teething again, I'm shattered" be seen as code for "I cannot resist your manly charms"

Unfortunately the problem that you're having is its usually the creeps, sleazy perv and abusive twats that scream not all men.
The other thing is you're seriously under estimating how many men are wrong uns

Why, it's because you are such an adorable handsome catch, you are the one and only.

The OP slid into my DMs a couple of days ago after I posted on the dating thread. Based on the timelines in this post he was married while I was in primary school. I'm quite confidently filing this one away in the creep category.

🤢

Oh dear... 😅

What a loser!

(Not you, obviously!)

Not in the least bit surprised! Sadly!

@exhaustDAD if you want to try and prove namalt you should try listening to women when they say you’re displaying creepy behaviour.

Sigh, they always tell on themselves.

Thank goodness other men are valiant enough to come and give us hysterical harpies a telling off. Though in my experience, the men who defend creepy, problematic men are usually creepy, problematic men themselves. Twas ever thus.

@Weareeee : "if you want to try and prove namalt you should try listening to women when they say you’re displaying creepy behaviour."

I do not need to do that. You have a right to think otherwise, you have a right to think this or that is creepy. But I also have a right to defend myself when I did not seek out a confrontation. It's like shouting at me for self-defence after you walked up to me yourself and slapped me to begin with. Do you not see that?

The story went: OP posted something creepy - I replied with my thoughts how he reads to much into someone just being friendly towards him - then OP left some comments that were legit creepy and degrading - There were some comments that joked about hoping not all men being this way - and to these comments just in a throw-away fashion I said thankfully not all of us think this way. And then, you took a massive leap and immediately went "yup, you are a creep too". Excuse me. It's all there, easy to see.

You say I should try listening to women when they say I am displaying creepy behavior. Ok. In general? Because not all of you think that. Should I also listen to the one who said I clearly just defended myself? Or no, not her, selectively?

@Geeseinarowhonk Did you even see how this part of the conversation started? Or just going by the last few comments? Because I have said nothing derogatory or barge in here telling anyone off.

Ooh! Pick me, pick ME!!!!

Have you read some of the post women put on hear.
Some are worse than this.

However op i can't help but feel this is a made up post.
Losts of them popping up lately.