Head turned

[BeMauveOrca]

I have a need for a female perspective on a situation I find myself in.

for context, I have been with DW for 20 years, but over the past couple of years it has been purely platonic.
here’s what’s started to do my head in. A mum at one of my son’s sports clubs has taken a beeline to me. It started with a friendly smile and hello, but has progressed to her insisting on walking back to the car park with me and our respective children in tow. This happened again yesterday and I couldn’t get her out of my head last night. Am I reading too much into this?

How would we know? Just because I share the same chromosomes with other women, doesn’t mean I know what’s going through their minds.
Let’s face it, you are obviously hoping we’ll all tell you she fancies you.

Perhaps take your wife with you and see if she can understand what she is after ? What does your wife say when you told her all about this ?

I don’t think that just chatting to you and walking out to the car park means she has anything but platonic feelings for you. It’s dark in the afternoons now, so if you’re going after school then maybe she’d prefer another adult to walk with her in a dark car park? None of this matters in the grand scheme of things, what does matter is that you are thinking there might be more to it and fixating on it. When you should be fixating on mending, changing or leaving your marriage.

This is a good point, if you’re looking for a woman’s perspective on her behaviour I assume you’ve asked your wife? What did she say?

Oh. You're a fantasist. Posting on the sex board about one night stands.

I dunno, maybe she thought you were nice and as a fellow parent with their child you wouldn't assume she was coming on to you?

What a catch 🤢

I’m not sure how to comment this without it coming across as ridiculous and possibly outing… but I guess only to the OP.

OP, if you’re who I think you are - and this post is about me; please know I didn’t mean anything malicious or suggestive whatsoever. I’m just trying to be friendly.

Apologies if you’re not who I’m thinking of, but the timeline and the things you have mentioned suggest to me otherwise.

She probably feels safe with an older man who is married for a long time.

Im nice to men at work for the same reasons.

I could be completely wrong and barking up the wrong tree, but after seeing the original post I was wondering.. then having seen some of the OP’s further replies I’m almost certain.

If it is you, best avoid him altogether. This must be so upsetting for you

I go to a hobby club. I speak to one person there more than the others. I’m not a natural at making new friends, so I just spent more time with the first connection I built with someone I vaguely enjoyed speaking to. I have never until this moment even thought there was a prospect of us being more than acquaintances who enjoy each other’s company when at this specific hobby club. I sometimes walk to my car with this person, I definitely speak to them more than anyone else there. I cannot stress how little desire I have to even build a relationship outside of the hobby club, much less HAVE SEX with them.

If you hadn’t mentioned kids, I might have been worried that you were the person I speak to and that you were talking about me. I hope he’s not up at night wondering why I speak to him and what hidden meaning there could be. There isn’t one.

Can you explain why you have been prioritising speaking to OP (if it is in fact him you’re thinking of) and why you’ve been walking to the car with him.

Because I expect it’s for entirely banal, platonic and normal reasons that the OP should hear, even if it’s not you he knows in real life. So he has some insight that not everyone wants to have sex with everyone they speak to.

Absolutely!

Actually, similarly to your previous comment, I too find it tricky to make genuine friendships. Although I manage to mask fairly well, I do have ASD and I struggle with social situations and social cues.

I am not the most outgoing person, so when I find a fellow friendly face, I enjoy chatting and getting to know people. COMPLETELY platonically, though.

As I say, it could be that this post is not aimed at me at all and I’m very willing to accept (and even hope!!) that I may have the wrong end of the stick, but too many details correlate.

Well 🤦‍♀️😆 you know how some men see it.

Does it matter what her intentions are? You are married but you are framing your marriage as platonic to justify wanting to sleep with someone else.

Nothing in what you have said about her behaviour screams ‘I want to have an affair’ but that is clearly what you want everyone to tell you — that she is completely besotted with you and is willing to blow up her whole life (assuming she has a partner) for you, a man she barely knows.

If she makes you uncomfortable because you think she may fancy you then don’t feed into it.

If you are enjoying the attention then you need to consider why and whether you are fulfilled in your marriage. If you aren’t happy then work on your relationship or end it. But definitely don’t start obsessing about this woman you know nothing about. Nothing good will come of it.

He’s already shagging other women. He’s posted about it before.

I wave to a school dad every morning on the way to school. He’s the only person I wave to as he’s the only person there at that time that i know. I most certainly don’t fancy him. You can be friendly without wanting to hop into bed with them.

Would I be correct in saying, that because a woman smiles, engages you in conversation (even though your children are not friends) then she/you has had their head turned.

One of you could well be a numpty, (just fyi, it's not the woman)

eta; and as @Arlanymor has said "It’s dark in the afternoons now" 😀

I'm not sure a fictitious wife can take their fictitious cheating husband for anything!

In his dreams, I imagine. He seems to have a rather overactive imagination.

It’s almost certainly because you radiate animal magnetism and she’s desperate to engineer any opportunity to bask in the aura of your masculinity and raw sexual power

So she may well be after you 😆😆😆

I was the woman in this situation. I was about to go through a divorce and needed some TLC. Don’t encourage her.