Head turned

[BeMauveOrca]

I have a need for a female perspective on a situation I find myself in.

for context, I have been with DW for 20 years, but over the past couple of years it has been purely platonic.
here’s what’s started to do my head in. A mum at one of my son’s sports clubs has taken a beeline to me. It started with a friendly smile and hello, but has progressed to her insisting on walking back to the car park with me and our respective children in tow. This happened again yesterday and I couldn’t get her out of my head last night. Am I reading too much into this?

Because she felt you were the least predatory of all the blokes there. And now your head has turned it into something its not.

Maybe because she finds you easier to chat to than the other cliquey parents.

Who's the lucky one?

What do you mean she's 'cottoned onto'? what does that mean?

Have to agree with this. I would definitely take the opportunity to walk to a dark car park with a male I knew, rather than be alone. I have actually been followed across a dark car park, by a man with a knife!

I am friendly with male acquaintances, I don't want to shag any of them! I am happily married!

I suspect you are reading far too much into this, and that will be because you're not getting any sex at home. This is what I would focus on. Why have you become platonic??

Because you seem like a nice safe married man, is she right or wrong ?

Why is your relationship purely platonic? Your choice or otherwise?
Have you had conversations with this woman, have you mentioned your wife, are your kids close, does your wife go to the club with the kids sometimes?
There could be all manner of reasons but if this turns your head then have the decency to leave your wife so she can find someone honest

What is you're looking for posting about this on here OP?

Are you wanting us to give you the green light to pursue this woman?

Women can speak to men in a friendly way without it meaning a single thing.

What you mean by 'platonic' is you're not getting enough sex at home so you're looking to cheat and are justifying it because you feel entitled to sex.
I would bet your poor knackered wife is doing everything at home and you do very little but are just baffled as to why she's so tired, touched out and doesn't feel up to sex..and here you are thinking you should pursue the first woman who speaks to you. 🙄

If you don't want to end up divorced, seeing your kids every other weekend then swerve this woman, get a grip of yourself and speak to your wife about the state of your relationship and work on it FFS.

by ‘cottoned on’, she randomly started smiling and saying hello to me whilst ignoring the other parents. Now she is talking longer to me.
i understand what other posters are saying about safety, but we live in a safe area and the parking is very well lit

I’m more confused why she only wants to speak with me

She's either just being friendly or she wants a father figure for her child.
Some women have a low bar when it comes to men.

Wander over to the step-parenting threads if you want to learn about the joylessness of blended families.

Why do you think anyone here can answer why she has taken a liking to you?

I don't really understand the point of the thread

You arent considering leaving your wife and don't feel you need to work on your marriage... what are you looking for here?

What does your wife think?

You are reading waaaay too much into these exchanges. Maybe she doesn't like the other parents and there's no one else to talk to. Maybe they don't like her and there's no one else to talk to. Maybe she's just a friendly person. Maybe she's going to start fishing for gossip about why your wife never shows up with you. Doesn't mean she wants to start an affair and run off with you, which is clearly what you're thinking/hoping.

That's not 'cottoned on'...that's 'latched on'.

Why are you so interested in throwing your life away for someone you don't even know? Fix your marriage or break-up amicably. Distance yourself from this woman - if she's flirting with you this easily then she'd do the same with anyone that caches her eye.

Look mate, stop trying to justify a possible affair and speak to your wife. Many reasons for no sex, one being menopausal and another she is fed up pretending to enjoy it because you are a crap lover. If you can't sort it, divorce your wife. Have some bloody decency.

Just ignore everything else I wrote, keep focussing on why she's talking to you...it's your life you're about to try and blow up for absolutely nothing.

As a PP says she probably thinks you're a nice, friendly safe MARRIED man and as she had a friendly chat with you once she's chatted to you again.

There is absolutely NO indication in anything you've written that suggests she's interested in shagging you.

You think she'd try and crack onto you while her son's there 😂

Why are you obsessing over this rather than focussing on your marriage?

Do you love your wife?

I wouldn't read to much into it. At the very most she's boosting her ego by getting your attention and not really caring about you or your situation. Potentially she is one of those women who want a buddy in every situation, I've worked with women who need someone to go to the loo with them, in either case she's probably someone you should take a step back from. Remember most of what people do is about them not you or anyone else.

What's that plan anyway, are you going to have a tawdry affair with a married woman and cheat on your wife and family and enable her to do the same?

What you really need to do is distance yourself from this woman and work on your marriage if its become purely platonic do what you can to revive it and you won't be able to do that if some other woman's flippant attention is doing your head in. Perhaps your marriage is over in which case you need to deal with that before you do something stupid.

She obviously can’t get your massive cock out of her mind, is that what you expect to hear OP?
Or, she doesn’t think like you and “made a beeline” for you but you just happened to respond when she spoke to you, so like a normal non-hypersexual person spoke to you again.
. Maybe because you are one of the only married men there so it’s less likely she will be considered to be attempting to shag you?
Or she thinks it’s safe and you wouldn’t expect her to be interested because you are unattractive to her?
Or she’s been desperate for attention all her life and no-one else will do?

Exactly how would any of us know WHY she talks to you?

Maybe she’s tried speaking to other parents and they aren’t that interested. Maybe her smiling at them was too much for their faint hearts and …

If I talk to someone it’s because the situation demands it, it’s a friendly thing to do, I consider the person safe (on the face of it). It’s not because I want to be bouncing on their cock before the night is out.

Is anyone else on here horrified by the idea that any meaningless exchange of pleasantries at the school gate with a man has them thinking you want to fuck them? 😬

If this is how men actually think then no wonder the rape stats are so horrendously high.

(The pedant in me wants to point out that "taken a beeline to me" isnt an expression. Perhaps she "makes a beeline for you" when you see her, that just means she walks towards you)

Yes, but its always been the case I think. Just think of women on the tube or bus they stare at the floor rather than make eye contact or smile at a man because even a hint of friendliness from a woman has the man assuming she is gagging for it. Then men moan that women are all miserable and unapproachable.

Where I come from, it doesn’t mean what he thinks it means. It means she ‘knows’.

I'm guessing you're on here because you want a load of women to tell you she fancies you.

Well, from this bloke, she probably does. And now you can either be a dickhead and take advantage of that, or you can actually be a decent human being and ignore it.

Because you're married. And you can either sort out your marriage, or end it. But you can't let it carry on as is while also getting the ego boost you want from this other woman without being an absolutely bellend.

Your current position is unmaintainable. Sort it out.

Why do you care? Focus on your marriage. Make it better or end it.

stop acting like a teenager.