Head turned

[BeMauveOrca]

I have a need for a female perspective on a situation I find myself in.

for context, I have been with DW for 20 years, but over the past couple of years it has been purely platonic.
here’s what’s started to do my head in. A mum at one of my son’s sports clubs has taken a beeline to me. It started with a friendly smile and hello, but has progressed to her insisting on walking back to the car park with me and our respective children in tow. This happened again yesterday and I couldn’t get her out of my head last night. Am I reading too much into this?

Well, Random three words that always includes a colour. Have there been any other signs of attraction? Being friendly and walking to the car doesnt sound mega flirty.

Teenager? More like a creep.

Cottoned on doesn’t mean what you think it does OP. Also a woman talking to you and walking with you doesn’t mean she must want to shag you. If that’s all it takes to “turn your head” and not stop thinking about her then I feel sorry for your wife.

@VimesandhisCardboardBoots The thing is its more than possible she has no attraction to him. She might be enjoying the ego boost from getting his attention over the other women there or she might just think he's a safe person after failing to connect with other parents and that she is one of those people who hates to be on her own so will latch on to anyone. I'd be horrified if any of the men I am on friendly terms with in similar situations were dreaming up such scenarios based on basic chit chat and interactions.

There is a risk that if the OP lets his imagination run away with him and takes action on his fantasy that he seriously embarrasses himself, makes the women feel like she's being harassed and that it reaches the ears of his wife and family.

We have no idea, we don't know her. Probably she's just being friendly, but maybe she is looking for more. If it's the latter, and she knows you are married, perhaps she's not a very nice person.

Instead of having your head turned by her, why don't you turn your head back to your wife? Why are things platonic? Is she exhausted? Do you do your fair share of household drudgery? Do you take her out for drinks or dinner? Maybe spend some time planning a romantic treat for the woman who married you and birthed your children instead of wasting time puzzling about the motivations of someone else.

Can someone get the popcorn going please 🍿

She might find you attractive, she might not?

Im surprised your question isn't more focused on improving your marriage ... a few women could give some perspective maybe.

The point is: if your having your head turned this easily then your marriage is in trouble.

Why does any of that matter? A woman smiling at you could be anything from awkwardness to wanting to jump your bones. But who cares? You’re thinking about the wrong thing.

You should be considering why your marriage is purely platonic and what you could do to fix that.

It's impossible for any of us to say why she's latched onto you.
May she sees it platonically, maybe not. We can't tell from afar.
What we can tell is that your marriage is in poor shape.
It's easy to have your head turned when things at home are not good.

I think the fact you can’t get her out of your head when al she did was smile and make a bit of small talk speaks volumes. You sound lonely and sad.

Maybe you're irresistible to women? Maybe she is a man eating psycho? How are we meant to know?

My next door neighbour smiled and waved to me as he was getting in his car at lunchtims. Do you think he is hoping for an affair?? 😁

Are you serious? I would act similarly to this woman if our kids were friends and not think anything at all about it.

This has been going on since October half term and wanting to talk for longer each week

This.

I think that things must be really bad at home for a smile and a little chat to cause this much thought. The question is - ‘so what?’, if the school mum was flirting and batting her eyes, it still doesn't matter because YOU ARE MARRIED! I am sure the school mum doesn't want some weird married man to make a move on her.

This might be a wake up call for you to fix your home life (one way or another). Your wife deserves better than a creep, not to mention your children watching you make a fool of yourself with this woman.

Do you look like you could moonlight as a Peloton instructor?

Maybe, just maybe, she likes chatting to you?

Your other post on the sex board is interesting, the one where you admit to having one night stands whilst married.

These men on mumsnet….🤢🤮

Oh well that’s obvious then that she wants to shag you and it will be ok to do so…

heavy sarcasm in case you can’t tell. If you’re after a green light to pursue this woman who’s being friendly towards you, you won’t get it here. You clearly fancy her though and hope that her actions mean she fancies you. It’s most likely she thinks you’re a nice guy because you make time to talk to her, listen to her and walk her and the kids to the car. She would likely be mortified if she realises you think this means she fancies you. I don’t know if you know this, but men and women can be just friends.

You are allowed to find other women attractive. But you are married, so it stops there. If you are building it up to be more than that in your head, you need to stop seeing her.

Look to your marriage. You got married because you loved each other I presume? Do you want to put your kids through a divorce and break your wife’s heart by fucking around on her? If your marriage is over, tell her and ask for a divorce. Do the decent thing of waiting until you are single until you start looking for a new relationship. If you still love your wife, ask her if she will go to counselling with you and try to salvage your marriage.

I think you would like it to though.Hmmmm?

Ah well there we go now, he's either a cheating liar or a fantasist looking to get his jollies either way, not worth engaging with. Hopefully his wife is also merely a figment of his sad imagination and not an actual woman suffering life with this loser.

And?

Having read your other post now on the sex board I hope your wife finds out and takes you for every penny OP.

Jeez, OP, your responses made it even more staggering..

"im questioning why it is me she has cottoned onto"

"by ‘cottoned on’, she randomly started smiling and saying hello to me whilst ignoring the other parents. Now she is talking longer to me."

"I’m more confused why she only wants to speak with me"

I don't know which prospect is sadder - the possibility that you haven't experienced someone just being nice to you without any agenda, or the one where you are so self-centered that there is absolutely no other reason why she would be friendly with you, other than wanting you in an intimate way.

I am not saying that is 100% out of the question, but I am willing to bet that she would absolutely regret talking to you in a friendly fashion if she ever saw how you are dealing with something that is otherwise just a simple thing in anyone's life. I don't want to sound hurtful, but all your comments scream that you absolutely only want to hear from others here what would tickle your ego... "nono, she doesn't talk to other parents but me" - Please.

Oh dear me, OP 🤢🤡