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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Have YOU had an affair?

186 replies

girlnextdoor · 12/06/2008 14:17

Like a similar poster not long ago, I am astounded at the number of mums posting abut their partners' affairs.

Yet, there is always another side- they are having affairs with women- many of whom will be mums too.

I am interested to hear the OWs stories. Things are never as black and white as one side may think.

Sometimes affairs can stop a marriage falling apart- if it is discreet or if both partners are relaxed about it- certainly, the upper classes and French presidents openly have affairs and everyone seems to accept it.

This is NOT the thread to join in with if you are hurting from your DHs affair, or if you can only see one side, and can only contribute things like marriage vows, trust, etc etc- but as a general open-minded debate it would be good to hear some other sides to it.

OP posts:
FioFio · 12/06/2008 14:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

expatinscotland · 12/06/2008 14:20

No

Goober · 12/06/2008 14:20

No. Been married 14 years and can safely say I never would.

cornsilk · 12/06/2008 14:20

This sounds a bit researchy.

hanaflower · 12/06/2008 14:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

girlnextdoor · 12/06/2008 14:21

researchy? no, just good open debate- that not okay?

OP posts:
mrsmaddyd · 12/06/2008 14:21

Ditto Fio. This could be a potientilly disastourous (sp) thread. Too much emotional hurt to even contemplate thinking about how the OW feels.

Goober · 12/06/2008 14:21

Is researchy a word?
I like it!

stealthsquiggle · 12/06/2008 14:21

ditto to FioFio's post

cornsilk · 12/06/2008 14:22

I'm not joining in anyway as I have nothing to report!

sagacious · 12/06/2008 14:22

meh

HarleyQuinn · 12/06/2008 14:27

I agree on the meh Sagacious

cornsilk · 12/06/2008 14:28

I'm liking the meh. Can I keep it?

Doodle2U · 12/06/2008 14:28

What does 'meh' mean?

pencilpleats · 12/06/2008 14:28

Message withdrawn

egypt · 12/06/2008 14:31

does he have kids? is he married pp?

cornsilk · 12/06/2008 14:31

Doodle I think it's meant to be a sneery 'pah.'

girlnextdoor · 12/06/2008 14:31

what is "meh"?

pencilpleats- does the wife know?

OP posts:
Carmenere · 12/06/2008 14:32

Dp had an affair on his ex wife. It was a symptom of a disastrous marriage and he was staying for the sake of the children. I of course was terribly suspicious of that when I first met him but in fairness to him his ex has turned out to be fucking evil towards her own children so I guess he knew what he was talking about. I don't think that affairs are excusable because I think that betrayal of trust is extraordinarily hurtful but I can see how they happen. I think that occasionally people who marry young can change as they get older and grow apart and if their bond is weak one partner can feel trapped whilst the other one thinks all is fine. Communication is key to a decent relationship I suspect.

pencilpleats · 12/06/2008 14:33

Message withdrawn

lilyloo · 12/06/2008 14:33

no and never would

Love2bake · 12/06/2008 14:33

Nope - never would

egypt · 12/06/2008 14:33

you are going to get slaughtered pp. are you ready?

lilyloo · 12/06/2008 14:35

pp are you married ? have children ?

Love2bake · 12/06/2008 14:35

Oh dear - this could get ugly!