Dating thread 54-New year new irons?

[bluedabadeedabadoo]

The Rules:
-The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating -Develop a thick skin
-Do not invest emotionally too soon
-It’s all BS until it actually happens
-Trust your gut instinct
-People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault
-Know your worth
-If it's not fun, stop
-Loo update is mandatory
-No dating the thread
-Treat others as you'd like to be treated
-Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
-The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
-OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item*

You really need to block fireman

All the best people are 😁

Why do men still do it?!
Years ago I talked to a guy for over three months online (we matched a few days before the lockdown so just carried on chatting until we could meet). At some point he said something about the age of his daughter (20) and I made a comment about him being a very young father (42 on his profile) and that's when he very matter of fact said "I'm 55. My friends told me to lie on my profile or I will only get matched with middle-aged women"... WTF? That's not how apps work. You be honest and set your filters to your age preference. And see if any young woman bites having full information. I was 35 at the time and zero interest in dating a man 20 years older than me. Did we have a great connection? You bet! But the lie (as well as lack of accountability) I couldn't never get over.

Morning guys so this morning decided to call things off with Mr P. I wasn’t feeling great yesterday, messaged him and he left me on unread all night so I thought it’s not right. Drafted a message, was just about to press send and he messaged saying it wasn’t right for him. I’m annoyed that I didn’t get in there first. I sent it anyway to show that I was already thinking the same thing.

Onwards and upwards!

Well done for doing it. Chalk it up to experience and move on to the next victim potential suitor.

I was messaged by a man outside my area (think he lived about 50 miles away) and I I did tell him it was too far for me but he asked to meet once and give him a chance. He was attractive and articulate so we arranged to meet in a town about 20 minutes from me that he could get a direct train to.
His profile says he was 5’11 and 54 -and his user name was along the lines of Dave1969.

So we met and although he was good looking, he was about 5’8 and 59 (he slipped up mentioning going to Tenerife for his 60th next year) - I pulled him up and he said it just be a typo, yeah right

Had he been honest I’d have met him anyway but the lies are a dealbreaker for me.

Then add the fact he walked me up my car, pinned me up against the wall and tried to ram his tongue down my throat - in broad daylight in a busy high street car park!

Good choice 😘😘😘

Oh that last bit...yikes! As if the lying wasn't enough!!!

@happywithmycat I’m going to buck the trend here and say I don’t think the message is that bad, quite sweet even but maybe I’m easily pleased. I guess if you liked him, it wouldn’t matter so much.

@bluedabadeedabadoo is ending things with MrP a bit of a relief? By mid-week you’ll
probably reflect on it and realise you’ve made the right decision.

@PinkNeonSign@Andsoitsover@Nosdacariadthankyou.
I think I’m bad for not necessarily clinging onto a person but clinging onto the idea of something that could have been.
i still like the idea of FWB with the right person and circumstances but I don’t think it’s for me. At least I gave it a go and I haven’t lost anything by doing so.

That's a good way to look at it and if the opportunity presents again you'll be clearer about what you want and don't want x

One of my irons did something so dumb he would be Mr Paracetamol if I was ever to go out with him. (Inhaled a faceful)

Eta I'm not being flippant about an overdose btw, he literally inhaled a faceful of the powder by accident.

@TheThingOnTheIce @bluedabadeedabadoo I know I need to block him 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️ popped up saying sorry for silence, had loads of work on etc but that he did want to see me again. Asked when he would be free - that was Wednesday and nada. If the sex wasn't so good I wouldn't have given it a second thought!

Boat Man continues to be lovely and wants to see me again but think I might be friendzoning him. I'll definitely see him again though and see how I feel.

@Nosdacariad how did he manage that!?!

I thought I was saving myself from a bit of the drama by taking a break from the apps. But no…MrElusive is back, I thought our new year tryst might have closed the loop but he’s back (again) and my nervous system is loving it 🙄

@PinkNeonSign he works in the production process 😁

Well Mr Sparx is no more. Started well but managed to follow up "we need to give Farage a chance" with "I don't agree with it it's not natural" (about a gay man).

Ah @Nosdacariad that makes sense. Sorry about MrSparx but sound like you have opposing views x

Just a bit!

@Nosdacariad a lucky escape!!

Oh FFS! At least you found it out early and didn't waste too much time/emotional investment. On to the next!

Ive been six years off the apps. It was becoming damaging to my self esteem so I called it a day. I’m in a good place right now so thought I’d lurk and see how you were all getting on. Doesn’t seem to have improved much so I think I’ll slink away again!

Hello! Yes I was the same, ventured back on after 6 years recently and it’s as tough as it ever was! X

Weird isn't it?

It shouldn't be this difficult.

Just chatted to someone whose opening gambit was to talk about their poverty and followed that up with a list of the corporate jobs that broke them.

I'm sorry and all but what do they think the outcome of that will be?!

I match’s with someone on Sunday. They mentioned taking their son for pancakes. I asked how old their son was…. This was followed by an answer along with info about a situation they are involved in with supporting some non related kids and a rant about the broken social care system. This went on for 24 hours with not one question asks 🙄persevered then unmatched. Like why go on an app of you are not even going to make any effort!

I guess the answer is to find someone to download their angst to...

I wasn’t single until 2020 so have no experience of pre covid apps. However friends who used them pre 2020 say they’re a completely different ballgame since lockdown - meaning they’re far far worse.

Think lockdown bought the world and their wives online out of boredom and the apps seems to be full of wronguns.

The only people I know who have had decent experiences from OLD are pre Covid - since then I don’t know anyone who has met any decent men.

My experience seems to fall into 3 categories

Opening message all the lines of ‘nice tits love’

Monosyllabic

Want to monologue their life story without asking a single question

Oh I almost forgot category 4 - men 20 years older who resemble Dobby and invariably tell me age is nothing but a number