Dating thread 54-New year new irons?

[bluedabadeedabadoo]

The Rules:
-The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating -Develop a thick skin
-Do not invest emotionally too soon
-It’s all BS until it actually happens
-Trust your gut instinct
-People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault
-Know your worth
-If it's not fun, stop
-Loo update is mandatory
-No dating the thread
-Treat others as you'd like to be treated
-Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
-The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
-OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item*

Jealous of the rugby!

Oopsie drunk texting 😅

I know, very annoyed with myself! Need to have a bog think about this one because whole it's casual there's no consistency either. I'm far too old to be left unread.

Kick him into touch 🏈

Why on earth do men pursue you then disappear?

Mr always on holiday was messaging from Tenerife, told me to get a flight out there for a few days and then says he’s home on 11th let’s do something this weekend. I said it’s a date, he replied with a heart and then radio silence. Why? What’s the point?

I’ve had this happen @TwistedWonder I don't get it either.

I suspect some men enjoy the chase and feeling they have “got” the woman interested. However when it comes down to it they just crack under the pressure of having to actually make a real and consistent effort or…they’re easily distracted and have had another offer.

What I do is not reward inconsistency, I just stop engaging with them. Because a man like that isn’t going to be great in a relationship.

We were in the city where we both live, and this morning I feel like I was most annoyed at myself for walking back that late, drunk and on my own, and not asking him to walk me to a cab rank, which I am certain he would have done - he's very polite and courteous, and I do get feminist vibes from him, so my guess is he didn't want to presume I couldn't take care of myself. I won't know for sure unless I go on another date, which I do want to do. We had a great late night (a band came on later in the very nice restaurant) so we stayed on, both keen to do so.

I was just talking to a friend who I really respect and she has a man in her life who has never offered to make sure she got home okay, or to do any heavy lifting in her life, but is kind, considerate and consistent. He's also a feminist, loud and proud. I'm watching Mr Soughdough with interest more than judgement at the moment.

He wasn't abrupt in tone at the end, just that we'd reached his turn off and had to stop walking, and I didn't know that was coming up. When we stopped walking, he did ask me out again, and chatted about our weekend plans before heading off. I am wondering about it though, and think that as everything else with him has been green flags, I need to watch this one carefully.

Being left unread is not okay. Why can't he even reply to say thanks but no thanks? So hard though, to delete him if you like him.

@Roslos wise words!

Tomorrow I'll be very close to where MrX lives. He has very little to offer so please convince me not to contact him as I will regret it.

Honestly at 60 years old you’d expect better but it’s about standard these days.

No doubt he’ll turn it round to be my fault 😂

I do think it’s the thrill of the chase. I pulled away a couple of times and finally thought I’d give him a chance - should have stuck to my first instincts.

Good rarely comes of second chances, and NEVER from third chances onwards.

You will regret it, but it is easy to say don’t do that, but we always hope they will be different each next time. Try not to, if you can.

Everything else sounds good. I just think he hasn’t given it a thought. I bet if you told him how you felt he would be annoyed at himself. I dont think I’d bin him off or this on the context of evening else.

Thank you. I have to remember all the lies x

Hello! Just wanted to stop by and say hello as this thread was recommended from another post.
Question - can you ever have a meet-cute moment or are we all stuck with the prospect of online dating?
I was tempted by one of those Asda red baskets, but I don't shop in Adsa!

I don’t know @rubberduck68 , I was raised by a very feminist dad and consider myself a feminist but it doesn’t escape me that in any long term relationship I have had, I end up taking over some not exactly feminist partition of chores because the men had got used to a wife, partner or mum that took most of the mental load despite being working full time and being the main carer for the children.

I have been that wife and partner myself and know most men my age expect me, eventually to take over on that at least a bit so… no, I don’t find it ok that he has left you to walk alone like that, I wouldn’t put up with that. At the end of the day whether it is reasonable or not, it doesn’t matter, the important thing is how it made you feel. If for you that was not good enough , then it is not good enough, you don’t need to find excuses for him, my guess is that none of us need a man but if we are going to have one, wouldn’t be nice to be with one that we know he has our bac?

Give him another chance but softly, softly mention, you were not happy with that. IME when you call them up on unacceptable behaviour they improve, if he doesn’t… let him go, you are just signing up for more work.

I don’t know, really. I suppose it depends on how young you are. If you are young enough to be out every weekend mingling with single people, I would say you probably don’t need to venture into OLD but if you are past the age when most of your friends are married with children, your online dating pool would be much, much larger than the one in real life.

Personally, if someone complimented me in Asda and asked me for my number at this age, I would probably say no and start shopping at another supermarket. 😁

Delete that man’s address from your brain!!

This. I m 44 and had two people approach me in real life last year. One was in a shopping centre, he followed me to the car park wanting my number and I ran for the hills! 😆 In retrospect I think he was harmless, he just caught me off guard. I actually feel bad for men in this day and age, I guess it can be hard to strike a balance between interested and creepy.

Yep. Ah, so vague!

Mr Charismatic has said that we will catch up again “soon” but not been forthcoming with a date either….

I don't know what meet-cute is, but welcome!

I totally agree with this.

yes we/they might be a feminist. But let’s be honest- a woman walking the streets alone is vulnerable.

Not entirely a sackable offence but I think raise it… you don’t want a man so passive that he doesn’t care.

I think meet cute originated from the film The Holiday, although another example from Notting Hill.

A moment where two people meet for the first time under an embarrassing or brief moment, and goes from there. I'm a bit of a romantic at heart and dream of that moment.

Sadly reality is it's online dating or bust. I'm 43 so all of my friends are married, have kids so difficult to meet people socially, especially as my main hobby is scuba diving, and I very much keep myself to myself at the gym!

Every day a school day 😁