Dating thread 54-New year new irons?

[bluedabadeedabadoo]

The Rules:
-The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating -Develop a thick skin
-Do not invest emotionally too soon
-It’s all BS until it actually happens
-Trust your gut instinct
-People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault
-Know your worth
-If it's not fun, stop
-Loo update is mandatory
-No dating the thread
-Treat others as you'd like to be treated
-Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
-The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
-OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item*

Off they run... next!

I wouldn’t read anything into it at all tbh. I’m supposed to be meeting Mr always on holiday this weekend and personally I’d prefer Friday to Saturday where everywhere will be packed, over priced and full of loved up couples 😂

I wouldn't read into it. I've never acknowledged it even when I was married!

He asked me to decide, I said happy to let you choose. He asked me to decide again.

For me this is bad as I've been carrying a grown man for 3 years nearly and I'm now extremely sensitive to signs of low effort.

For you it might be perfect x

@rubberduck68 ask him. If it matters to you.

I love this! I do need to be more ruthless I think.
God I remember the very early days when I started OLD. I think it’s inherently in my nature to give people te benefit of the doubt. I didn’t trust my gut on a few occasions and regretted it! And still probably a bit of room for improvement I think…

I am not a big valentines person, just the timing is awkward!

Yes, I hear that, then it would be triggering. I will watch out for how he manages the next one for sure!

I wouldn’t read anything into it. I also think seeing someone on Valentines this early in can create awkwardness over expectations (like I would worry the other person was expecting me to mark it somehow?!). And everywhere will be rammed. Better to avoid it altogether!

I would never go to a restaurant on valentines, even with an established partner (no judgement for anyone who can brave it, but I hate crowds and feeling packed in). I will just pretend it's not happening, normal weekend!

Has Mr Wiggy got anything to say for himself? I’d probably not unblock him until then…

So Mr Nomad will be coming to visit my hometown and next Tuesday for a couple of days, en route from his ski trip abroad. He will be staying at mine, although has said he understands I’m working and can’t take time off.

Meanwhile it’s been crickets from Mr Charismatic. Our date was last Thursday and we texted a few times over the weekend, but nothing since then. This isn’t unusual for him, but I’m not going to be the first to message or to suggest our next meet up, assuming he is even keen. My money is on him messaging on Friday but not having time to see me this weekend, but I guess we will see what happens!

How long do you give people to reply before unmatching? I matched with someone, messaged yesterday morning and he replied straight away but I didn’t reply till later as I was at work. Nothing since then. Thinking I’ll give him til the end of the day then get rid! Another one I have moved to WhatsApp with but the conversation hasn’t been up to much so far…

Mr Wiggy has so far zero to say and as you say not unblocking right now!

I would give 48 hours.

Someone clever here says no to whatsapp until first date. Wise woman.

@BoxOfCats where would Mr Nomad stay if not with you?

I usually give no more than 24 hours without a reply before I unmatch especially in the first messaging phase.

His mum and a close friend both live within 15 mins of me. Although the friend has a newborn, and I think Mr Nomad would rather stick pins in his eyes than stay with his mum. Having heard her on the phone to him once (she was on speaker), I can’t say I blame him!

It’s been more than 24 hours so I just unmatched! Also saw a profile ‘Never done this before but here goes’ and recognise him from years ago. Think we matched but he never messaged and I remember him because he does a similar job and lives nearby! Such liars!

I see loads saying new to this or my first time who I recognise from when I first tried OLD in 2021.

And every time I do give it another go the same mugs who ghosted me, unmatched or sent sleazy or one word messages are all still there probably wondering why they don’t get any dates

Yep

Does this even work? They say.

Only if you show up!!

Ha ha. This guy’s profile pics were exactly the same as 5 years ago too so any dates might get a shock when he turns up looking older!

So 2nd date with Mr Cheval. Went well again. He’s chatty, we have good eye contact and he seems warm and open. Still unsure if I fancy him but I do feel something there. We did kiss, not the best kiss I’ve had. I did agree to another date as I feel it can grown but a little concerns that after kissing I don’t feel more attracted. He follows up straight after dates and wants to arrange something straight away which is good and we continue to match with texting.
One thing that isolating on my mind is that he told me he has 2 daughters but he only talks about 1. When I’ve asked questions about them both, he’s evaded the question and usually talks in a manner where you wouldn’t know how many he’s referring to. I do need to ask him next time as it’s making me worried that he doesn’t see the other one which would worry me.

Well done for noticing @bluedabadeedabadoo

Mr Abacus is being cagey about meeting again...

Be cagey back, match his energy. if they want to they will, and you deserve someone who can't wait to see you again.