Dating thread 54-New year new irons?

[bluedabadeedabadoo]

The Rules:
-The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating -Develop a thick skin
-Do not invest emotionally too soon
-It’s all BS until it actually happens
-Trust your gut instinct
-People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault
-Know your worth
-If it's not fun, stop
-Loo update is mandatory
-No dating the thread
-Treat others as you'd like to be treated
-Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
-The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
-OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item*

Not much doing over here either but I have a kiddo in hosp so just as well.

So... I have one thing from Saturday night that keeps circling in my head about Mr Soughdough: lovely man, lovely date tick, tick, tick BUT although he was super open about his past relationships when I asked him (no red flags and very respectful about his exes) he has not shown any interest at all in mine. Is this not good? He knows I have been married and have adult kids, which came out organically in other chats, but he has not had any curiosity about when I divorced, or my dating history beyond that? On the positive side, he phoned today during his lunch break and we chatted for 45 minutes, and he asked me out to a quite fancy restaurant this week. Thoughts?

I am sorry to hear about your kiddo, hope it improves for them soon x

Thanks @rubberduck68

I think it depends on whether he asks you about other things, I would worry if he showed no curiosity about you in general.

I've been flicking through complete sets of pics on Tinder with no teeth on show saying to myself "no teeth" 😅

He does ask questions, typically if I ask him something he will then ask my something and so it rolls. I think I read somewhere that a lack of curiosity about your emotional past can signal they just want a shag, but who knows.

On Tinder, I hear you... in my age group (fifties and sixties) I thought it was like a year book from Alcatraz!

It doesn’t sound like a red flag, at least not yet. You’re very early in, maybe he’s not super comfortable asking yet, or just feels it isn’t relevant to ask bout past relationship history? I would just wait and see how it goes for now.

Eeek, it’s grim out there!

Sorry to hear that, hope he/she is better soon

Don’t sell yourself short if tts not what you’re after!

I really need to listen to my own advice!! Mr Nomad is in Colorado at the moment. Still messaging every day. Still doesn’t want a relationship 😆

@Nosdacariad hope kiddo is doing ok!

Fireman spent the night last night, think we're firmly in FB territory now which I'll continue with for a little bit... We're totally not compatible and he's quite a pessimistic sod which I don't enjoy, but the sex is out of this world so will enjoy for as long as it lasts.

(Queue me posting in a couple of days about him not being in contact etc 😂🤦🏻‍♀️).

@rubberduck68 I wouldn’t read too much into him not asking about your relationship history. There are some websites out there with dating advice that say never talk about exes on an early dates. He might just not want to be too intrusive either. I didn’t ask Mr Engineer but I know he doesn’t have kids and is very involved with his nieces and nephews. He knows I was married as I’ve told him when my DD is at her dad’s so we could arrange our next date. We didn’t really discuss anything else as we had too many other things to talk about.

As he’s paused his profile I don’t intend to swipe so will see where this goes first and tell him that if he asks.

Haha. Similar age here. I do not want to see them with their tops off!!

Nosdacariad Hugs to you.

rubberduck68, Agree with Brightbluesomething, there is advice to not talk about past relationships, so that's possibly what he's doing.

CleanShirt Stay strong, & enjoy

Out of this world sex sounds amazing, I haven’t had that in so long. If you don’t mind me asking, what makes it out of this world? Is it your chemistry, is he a foreplay God? I’m just curious because I always seem to have either mediocre sex, terrible sex or if I’m really really lucky it’s sort of good. At the moment it’s sort of absent 😂

Oh! I did talk about my ex-husband on our date but only in that I said when we both realised we were unhappy we decided not to be together anymore. I didn’t slag him off or anything, is that not okay?

Sounds fine to me! I know that I've read it in one of those 'What not to do' type articles... I think!

But I'm like you, I'll talk briefly about my ex if it comes up, as it's a part of your life isn't it.

We just click in bed... I can't really think of another way to describe it 😂 after 10 years of boring sex he's definitely a tonic! It's a long time since I've been on the same sexual page as someone.

That’s great! I’ve had years of mostly boring sex too, maybe Mr. Soughdough will rise to the occasion. 🤣

Love this. Enjoy!!!

We shall see if I start having a little spiral in the next day or two 😂 plus I don't know if I want sleepovers to be a regular thing tho, sharing your bed with someone is annoying

See what you did there!

@rubberduck68 all sounds good and no I wouldn’t worry about this.

@CleanShirtyou are made of stronger stuff than me! But if you are having fun and feeling ok then all is good!

Met Mr Cheval tonight. Didn’t feel helped like his pictures which is odd so don’t feel attracted right away but towards the end I did start to feel a spark in the way we looked at each other. It was very easy and time went so fast. We were there well over 2 hours. We have text loads since we got back and got agree there was something there and want to meet up again.
he hasn’t talked much about his kids (which is unusual) so I need to ask about them on the next date and also a bit more about his relationship history but all good so far.

Great news!

Anyone else notice a lot of men harping on about Vanlife?

Yes! And what's up with that?!
And there is an alarming number of van dwellers on Tinder. I know COL is upon us but come on...how do you expect to be in a long term relationship if you sleep above the cabin?

I was chatting to one a while back who said he lived in a van, so my brain automatically went to the aesthetic tiktok kind...

Nope. He'd just come out of prison and was living in a transit van 🫠