Dating thread 54-New year new irons?

[bluedabadeedabadoo]

The Rules:
-The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating -Develop a thick skin
-Do not invest emotionally too soon
-It’s all BS until it actually happens
-Trust your gut instinct
-People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault
-Know your worth
-If it's not fun, stop
-Loo update is mandatory
-No dating the thread
-Treat others as you'd like to be treated
-Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
-The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
-OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item*

There’s a really nice venue near me that does great food & live music on a Saturday night, which I’d mentioned on the last date that I liked. He suggested it as date two - he listened!

I think I’m slowly learning and growing about how the frequency of messaging is perhaps less important than the content when they message? As I think I’ve already said on here my ex blew up my phone from the word go, and he turned out to be utter nightmare.

That’s a really positive sign I think that he’s listened and taken what you’ve said onboard. I’d say these sort of things are more important than the fact he’s not a great texter.

Oops, I've done that exact thing before with the coffee! Date was running late, it was a tiny independent coffee shop and I felt awkward taking up a table without buying anything. I did feel awkward about it though so I ordered and paid for the second round!

I also have a tendency to stop messaging for a few days at a time if there's a natural pause in the conversation (work long/unpredictable shifts and I hate boring small talk). If I was a bloke you would all be avoiding me on the apps 😬

Went on a night out last night and a former work colleague hit on me. 30 minutes prior I'd had a lovely chat with his fiancée who was gushing about their super romantic New Year's Eve proposal. I got very cross, decided men are shit and drunkenly deleted all my hinge matches. Bit of a shame as some seemed nice but it was still early days and hasn't met any of them yet. Now deciding whether I can be bothered to start again.

Kaltenzahn Ugh what a sleaze.

I actually went on Hinge properly yesterday, liked 5 (I actually forgot that there was a 5 person limit, it's been so long!)
But I've not had any like me back so feeling a little wounded in my pride... I'll get over it

rubberduck68 That sounds great!

I never got on with Hinge. Signed up a few times and never got a single match let alone a date.

Maybe because my perfect Sunday definitely does not involve a long country walk and pub roast unlike 99% of the men on there.

Surprisingly, Mr Charismatic messaged me yesterday, 24 hours after our date, asking for an opinion on a house he was going to view. I get the impression he isn’t one for small talk, so he’s happy to message when there is actually something to say, but otherwise keeps the text contact to a minimum.

He left some wine here and I said I’d save it for next time he came over, to which he replied “You’re on!”. But I’m going to leave the ball in his court to actually organise meeting again. When things tapered out with us last year he couldn’t seem to find the time to meet up (until he finally said he wasn’t in the right headspace due to a stressful life situation). So it will be interesting to see if/when he manages to organise something…

Haha, I'm up for the country walk but most of mine say 'This year I want to...'

Travel
Buy a camper van & travel
See more of the world
Go to the airport & let's just go!!!

& I just can't go wandering around the world at the moment so those get an instant swipe.

There was one that said something like

'On Sundays I...'
'Decompress, breathe, be emotionally present, physically & mentally prepare my body & soul for the week ahead'...

We are going to a local pub that has good and music (that I had told him on first date I liked, so he suggested it.) I might dig a bit about his texting style!

rubberduck68 I do like to try & have that conversation, just so that we know if we are on the same page or not, with regards to in between dates contact.

@NervesOfCotton me too. I can’t drop work and childcare to go off globetrotting but I do actually like a Sunday walk and some lunch out (so I’m not cooking). What annoys me are the ones that say they’re off coaching their sons football then doing x,y,z and so their weekends are completely full up. So when would you have time to date? Instant swipe left.

I’m currently chatting to someone I met in the wild but since we first met in December he’s on his 3rd holiday so not had a chance to go on an actual date.

Hes in Tenerife at mo and said to me ‘just get a flight and cone for a few days’ - now nice as that would be to be in 25 degrees rather than pissing rain. I don’t think self employed people get i can’t just disappear from work at a moments notice. But

Ahh, it would be so nice though wouldn't it, TwistedWonder!

Brightbluesomething Yes that's true, too! I don't rule those ones out but I do have a chat (if they want to talk to me!) about their general availability, as I can do mid week dates.

A lot of the ones who are going travelling have young kids (as they are in their profile, even if the face is covered you can see they are young) & I always feel sorry for the kids if the dads are off travelling for most of the year.

@rubberduck68how did it go with Mr sourdough last night?

Just dipping my toe back in the water. I have been in and out of the dating threads for what feels like forever (10 years in and off). Put Tinder back on my phone a few days ago after a couple year out of using apps, a short relationship which ended badly (being called a hormonal bitch) and a few dates with a lovely guy who has since passed away. I am now 44 and dating is getting harder and harder, there seems to be less choice and my tolerance for ass h#les is pretty low.

I have matched with a few people on tinder but not really had any meaningful conversations, just the normal “Hi babe”. I like meaningful intelligent conversation but that seems to be some what lacking in Tinder 😬.

Halo welcome to the thread. Yes I agree this is definitely lacking with tinder. I’ve only matched with one person who was actually able to hold a conversation. My currently iron Mr Cheval was actually from POF which I haven’t used for years. He is definitley able to hold a good conversation.

@TwistedWonder @NervesOfCotton boil it down and a lot of their hobbies are eating, moving and the basics of life 🙃

@Moonlightfrog welcome x

Hi, I've had the most decent convos with men on Hinge. Tinder at my age (50's) they were mostly looking for just sex (cool if that's what both people agree on) but outside of that, tumbleweed.

It was a good date. I fancied him instantly this time. He asked if he could kiss me at the end of the date (sweet) and I was thinking, yes please do! He asked me out again before I went home, and said he'd phone me tomorrow to make plans, as he was spending today helping his brother move. We talked about texting and are on the same page - I don't like it much, and neither does he. Let's see...

I doubt if they wander much past their own sofas! Travel is as dull as the Sunday roast on dating apps - we all eat and go on holiday (budget willing), if they can't think of anything else to put, it's swipe time for sure.

That's so true, Nosdacariad & rubberduck68. Also, the amount of them who've written 'Dating Apps' under 'My most irrational fear'.Like they are so funny & so original

I'm glad that you had a lovely date, rubberduck68. Sounds like it was a success all round, great update!

That’s great to hear @rubberduck68.
I met Mr Engineer yesterday and he’s lovely.
We went for drinks and chatted for hours. We’ve lots in common and have already booked in a second date. I noticed he’d paused his Bumble profile as soon as he got home as well. He works away 4 days per week but that’s changing next month to a more local base so it’s all looking good.

@Brightbluesomething @rubberduck68 lovely positive date stories!

It is so nice to hear some positive stories! Well Mr IT has definitely disappeared into the ether and my other date came to nothing so it’s back to the drawing board for me. I’m chatting to a couple of new people but they are only looking for something casual. Right now I’m wondering if that would better than nothing at all and at least they are up front about it!

Woo hoo that's great news, and talking for hours is such a good sign. Are you going to have a chat about "pausing" the dating accounts. I never know when to ask, it's so awkward!