Dating thread 54-New year new irons?

[bluedabadeedabadoo]

The Rules:
-The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating -Develop a thick skin
-Do not invest emotionally too soon
-It’s all BS until it actually happens
-Trust your gut instinct
-People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault
-Know your worth
-If it's not fun, stop
-Loo update is mandatory
-No dating the thread
-Treat others as you'd like to be treated
-Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
-The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
-OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item*

It doesn't matter - your body knew he was wrong xxx

Sorry to hear about all the bad behaviour from the various irons. I really don’t understand why grown men can’t just be straight up instead of all the misleading / rude behaviour. I haven’t heard from Mr IT in days now so feels like another one not willing to just admit he’s lost interest. I do have another date at the weekend but my heart’s not really in it. I will go though and hope for the best!

Evening all so I’ve had a week of sporadic messaging the potential irons I matched with in the various apps. Some have dwindled, some are ongoing but aren’t very inspiring, some are good but slow to respond but I have one date planned with Mr Cheval I’m going to call him. That is on Monday. Been chatting via text all week (he is a big texter like me) and had a phone call tonight. I have a breeze date tomorrow. I’m not too fussed given this weather as have to travel to the nearest city by train which im
Not fancying but I’ve paid for the date and if you cancel you get sanctioned by the app. I might just cancel though as the match wasn’t particularly inspiring coupled with this horrible weather 😔

Hi all,

So Mr Charismatic came to my place for dinner last night. I had a really nice time, he only just left around 10am this morning (public holiday today in my corner of the world) 🫣

The sexual chemistry is most definitely there with him, but he doesn’t give too much away on an emotional level. I get the impression he’s the sort of person who takes a while to feel properly comfortable around someone. However, this was also only technically our 5th date so I guess it’s not surprising we are still getting to know each other.

He didn’t say anything about the fact we paused dating mid last year, or what he wants from seeing someone. I get the impression he’s just after something casual, otherwise I’m sure I would know! Probably worth a conversation next time I see him.

Seeing him did make me realise though that the emotional connection and “personality chemistry” is stronger with Mr Nomad. He just unfortunately doesn’t want a relationship 🤦‍♀️

@BoxOfCats Well done for doing that x

@bluedabadeedabadoo hope Mr Cheval ia hung like one 😅

Yay to a good evening with Mr Charismatic. Sorry that Mr Nomad doesn't want a relationship, but there's no reason you can't have some fun, and Mr Charismatic might surprise you in the end. I thought my ex husband didn't want a relationship for the first few months of knowing him, but we ended up married for years - he was just not very good at expressing himself emotionally at the outset.

You are right. I wouldn't care about who bought the coffees if the connection was great. I thought about this "body" comment and you know, I did feel tense in my stomach, I remember thinking it might rumble haha, but it was that unsettled feeling. Hmmm. Next.

@Nosdacariadha ha
not anticipating to find out on the first date but yes to be hung like a horse and knows what to do with it might help me stop longing for the sexual chemistry I as with Mr P 🙄

Mr Soughdough has asked me to go out again. This is three days since our first date, and no word whatsoever in-between. Hmmmm. He waded right in with the invite though. Not sure if I should read something into the 3 day silence or not? He's already an improvement on Mr ICU who blocked me on day 4 of silence.

Do me I’d struggle with 3 day silence and I’d have already read too much into that and mentally switched off from him but others will say 3 days is perfectly acceptable so I think it completely depends on you and how you feel about this style of communication. For me it’s too anxiety provoking.

Same
I was dating someone who was taking 1-3 days to reply to a text sometimes. It’s not for me . I took it as a sign he wasn’t interested

Same here.
Someone texted me yesterday after four days of silence saying "Sorry, it's been a busy weekend. Should we chat on the phone later" and I just replied that we've only just met and if he is already too busy to contact me, our communication styles are not compatible.
Sometimes it's best to cut them loose early.

For me it would depend if he followed up after the first date.
If not it would be bin.

It depends. I’m not someone who does the daily ‘hi how are you’ type messages and I’d rather a couple of days of nothing than banal messages.

However after 3 days and another date being mentioned, I would have expected a ‘when are we meeting again’

Personally I’d just drop him a message asking if another date is happening and leave the ball in his court after that. At least you’ll know one way or the other

3 days of silence is anxiety inducing for me too and around the time I consider blocking so I’m not left wondering. Some people aren’t massive texters though so maybe he’s one of those? I’d be more worried if there were frequent messages before followed by days of crickets. Inconsistency is a killer.

My irons have all completely dried up, annoyingly with the exception of the fireman who I unblocked while drunk 🤦🏻‍♀️

He's coming here Sunday and spending the night. Going to figure out then if I can just keep it sexual or if my brain is going to catch a few feelings. Will definitely be in self-preservation mode if that happens.

Thank you! Oh that’s interesting about your ex. What do you think made him more comfortable eventually? Was it just time, or something else?

I’m not someone who is very good at keePing feelings separate either. But sounds like it will be fun for a night at least!

I think the fact he’s asking to meet up though is good?
its so individual. Mr Charismatic will go days at a time without messaging, which I’ve learned with him isn’t an indication he’s not keen. Mr Nomad on the other hand has already sent me about 20 messages this morning 😆

He is annoyingly fun!

Uh oh!

Irons drying up might be quality over quantity!

I think he had not been brought up in a home where sharing emotions was okay, but over time he really opened up.

@rubberduck68 I wouldn’t necessarily read anything into it. Mr Engineer (who has now done enough to be given a name) hasn’t messaged again whilst on holiday at my request but he has today now he’s travelling home. I’m glad he didn’t give me a blow by blow account as we’ve got more to talk about when we met tomorrow.
When we are in contact it’s consistent with no gaps but I asked him not to (crazy week at work and he’s away).
See him again and keep an open mind. Don’t self sabotage something that could be good before it gets off the ground.
Caveat, you can end it at any time if this continues and your communication styles are not compatible, but I’d give it a bit longer.

Yes, I will give him a chance as it is very early days. Meeting him tonight so will know more.

Good luck tonight, rubberduck68 I hope it goes well. What are you doing?