Dating thread 54-New year new irons?

[bluedabadeedabadoo]

The Rules:
-The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating -Develop a thick skin
-Do not invest emotionally too soon
-It’s all BS until it actually happens
-Trust your gut instinct
-People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault
-Know your worth
-If it's not fun, stop
-Loo update is mandatory
-No dating the thread
-Treat others as you'd like to be treated
-Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
-The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
-OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item*

MrX is 6'6" and had on his profile

"If any of you lovely ladies like to wear heels"

I took the piss so unmercifully he took it down.

I agree, no one should be telling another what to wear. I've had a guy tell me what to wear and he got short shrift.

Interesting about docs, I was eyeing up Flora and 2976 but I'll look at Pascal.

My best presented date was sadly the bigot.

I have a date on 14th with Mr Wiggy 😁

Oh gosh. I have a date tonight and I haven't even got any information about his height (or he about mine). I find that shorter men usually filter themselves out anyway once they see in my profile that I am quite tall but I haven't used this app for a while and the info is not on there. It'll be a surprise 😛

Sounds like he's showing up well on the actual dates. Is he consistently asking to meet up, even though you are both busy. Now that you've had a few dates, I'd worry far more if it was the other way around, if he was texting often, but not showing up for dates or being attentive when he does?

I started a thread last year about how a man criticised my outfit on a date. It was a very low-key date and he was fairly smart but I had on a smart/casual jeans/trainers, boyfriend jacket and he was really rude about it. That's my look, it's who I am. I have a very Claudia Winkleman fringe and I've had men ask me if I need a hair cut! Men with no hair. None. I've often thought about a stylist's advice as I get older though. Did you enjoy it?

@Disturbia81 the fireman unfortunately falls into the former category. But he is so good in bed that I reply every time 🤦🏻‍♀️

Speaking of which, I'm away this week so of course he's popped up. Some sort of plan where he's going to come round Sunday and stay the night has been formed. Just know I'm setting myself up for disappointment.

@Nosdacariad both those boots look fab and will go with everything, get them an wear them on your date with Mr Wiggy (why are we calling him that?!)

I do me and stay in my lane. I like a good jean (really love barrel leg or cigarette with a turn up right now (M&S do a v flattering one) love a vintage band T-shirt or Bella Freud jumper (got the Fairytale in New York one from my family for Christmas) boyfriend jacket, good trainers. Men who ask me if I own a dress (three have) can go find someone who does. And yes, they mostly look like they got dressed in the dark. Wear what you feel comfortable and good in.

What I read is "I am going to flex my height so that you all line up," and "I like women who dress up for me," I'd be off, but I love that he listened to you so that's a bonus, he'd probs still be in the running!

Had a pretty good first date with Mr Soughdough last night. I did not fancy him when I walked in, but by the time I left, I did. That doesn't often happen to me so I am curious to see where this goes.

I was on this thread many many moons ago, 3 years almost exactly. Some will maybe remember the whole Mr Oz/Bike thing .. Just to give an update: I actually stayed with him, decided that, whether he did it or not, he'd chosen me and that was good enough. But it wasn't. I couldn't forget about it or get past it, even after 3 years. Now I've ended it with him. It must have been true. There was no way the other person was lying. I'm going to change my user name and won't post again, just wanted to give am update for anyone who remembers it! Judge me if you want, it seemed the right thing to do to me at the time.

@changednameagainobvsno judgement from me. I’ve given so many chances to people I shouldn’t it’s embarrassing .
was this where you got a message from someone who recognised who you we’re talking about on here ? I was on here then too , giving chances to my pervert now ex .

Oooh, I think I remember your thread! What a tosser he was!

I actually loved the stylist appointment. It was just with the one based at a department store local to me (I’m not in the UK), so it was free and anything I bought on he day came with a small discount. I gave her a clear brief up front of wanting date outfits specifically, and things that would strike a good balance between not being too casual or overdressed, needed to be comfortable etc. I think she nailed it! Actually the first date I went on after that was with Mr Nomad, who was very complimentary on what I wore.

The 14th as in Valentines Day? That’s exciting!

Nice, that sounds casual and comfortable bu not too much so, if you know what I mean!

I’ve been wearing these white wide leg jeans with trainers and a nice top of some sort (the last “first date” I was on, I wore these below with a black V neck top, plus this wool trench coat without the belt done up)

https://www.saba.com.au/clothing/ava-wide-leg-jean_dww25014-white

https://www.saba.com.au/clothing/karla-wool-longline-trench-coat_ww22406-black

@BoxOfCats oh I love that trench coat, I will bookmark it for when I get my pay rise this summer 😂

@Nosdacariad Mr Pushbike sounds yuck 🤢 I hope Mr Wiggy is better, although I'm curious about the name! Is it a first date?

I tend to dress pretty casually on dates but I always choose casual drinks/lunch/walk type dates rather than dinner at a swanky restaurant. If I got asked on a dinner date I'd probably need to go shopping first!

I downloaded Bumble this week for a bit of a fresh start. Have had a few nice chats so far, will see if any of them translate into dates!

sadly my husband dresses like a tramp. hes a handsome man so it upsets me. I never thought it bothered me but after I had a terrible psychotic breakdown I realised it did becasue it meant there were places we couldn't go to which I would have liked to go to

Evening all.

I love docs. I have vonda floral but black flowers. I wear them on most dates and love them as they go with anything. If it’s a walking date I usually wear funky leggings with a black tunic top and my docs. Coffee/ meal/ drinks is usually a dress and dressed up or down depending on occasion. I love the brand popsy so tend to wear a popsy dress.

Re the comments regarding frequency of texting I agree that in theory actions speak louder than texts however I also subconsciously read into change in patterns with messaging, no matter how hard I try not to and how much I rationalise and analyse the face to face behaviour so I think in terms of what is right and what you are comfortable with I think depends on how you process things internally.

@Kaltenzahn @PinkNeonSign a wig wearing adjacent profession for Mr Wiggy.

It is a first date and Valentines day though no time or place confirmed yet.

@BoxOfCats did you buy much at your stylist appointment?

@LucyLoo1972 my dear late husband dressed so like a tramp that a woman tried to shoo him off the furniture in a garden centre and took the brochure off him. He was going to (and did) buy some but only after I'd pointed out to the manager about books and covers 🪑

Yes I bought loads, and have loved everything I bought. I’m 44, 5”2 and quite petite so have found it hard to find things I like that fit me well, but she did a good job.

Mr Charismatic is here for dinner tonight. It’s 25 degrees and sunny here so I’ll be wearing this pink top the stylist found me, with this denim mini I bought recently. Not quite a first date, but first time I’ve seen him in 6 months!

Did it bother you aobut your husabnd? my husabnd became a high earner and still dressed like that. I was just sad it meant we couldnt go to nice places sometimes. People have mistaken him for a homeless person

You won’t regret it! It’s hard to tell from the pics but it’s wool and quite lightweight, so a good trans-seasonal option and hangs really beautifully.

That sounds promising! What was it in particular that changed your mind do you think?

He would dress properly if pushed on rare occasions. It did bother me a bit but it was him.

I let it bother me too much probably

If it bothers you then it bothers you - I'm not sure you can switch it off.