Dating thread 54-New year new irons?

[bluedabadeedabadoo]

The Rules:
-The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating -Develop a thick skin
-Do not invest emotionally too soon
-It’s all BS until it actually happens
-Trust your gut instinct
-People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault
-Know your worth
-If it's not fun, stop
-Loo update is mandatory
-No dating the thread
-Treat others as you'd like to be treated
-Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
-The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
-OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item*

Update on Mr. AC. He called that very same night. Couldn't really figure out if he was breaking up with me or not despite asking several times. Agreed to not speak for a few days and reconvene next week for more clarity.
In a cruel twist of fate, I was unexpectedly offered a chance to move into his area in a couple of weeks. Not sure what to do about that at the moment. Either the universe has a twisted sense of humour or it's a sign. I'm holding steady right now.

That's a helluva confusion but if he wants a relationship you won't be confused xxx

Jesus wept. What a lucky escape.

Four emails now...he needs to get a life.

Tell him to bore off and put him in junk!

Why is it the ones you don’t want to hear from who are incessant and the ones you do want to hear from are the flakey ghosters

In the case of MrX we were engaged and I called it off six months ago.

He thinks if he waits long enough his domestic appliance will start working again 😁

Perhaa you’re Ike me and subconsciously attracted to the avoidant ones! 😆

Ha… classic! 😂

Sorry to hear that.
Do you think he meant to break up but bottled it? Or is he just confused himself?

So I heard nothing all week from Mr Charismatic, then last night he messaged me from the airport lounge in Tokyo to say he was thinking about me. He arrives back in a few hours, but annoyingly I’ve taken annual leave to go away for the weekend with some girlfriends so he will have to wait. I still can’t work out if he just wants a booty call or actually wants to date me…

Mr Nomad is also still abroad, but has been making an effort to keep in touch every day despite the time difference.

That Mr Nomad is a bit of an enigma!

I’ve been wondering if this is a thing? I definitely think I’m somehow attracted to one’s who are avoidant and I don’t know why as Im anxious so it doesn’t work but it seems every time …….

I’m also an anxious attachment style. It can be because the avoidant style feels familiar to us, as it’s what we learned that love felt like.

I have absolutely no idea. I think he started developing feelings and panicked a bit that we won't be able to make LDR work. Which is legitimate but I don't get why borrow trouble if we enjoy each others' company now.

Anyway, I already have a date with someone else this weekend.

100%
And he was actually the one asking me about my vision for the future. I just wanted to know when the next date was going to be!

He seemed totally dysregulated which is why I said I'm letting him process for five days and get back to me with a proper answer and not a distressed word salad which leaves me more confused. And that's as much grace as I am willing to give because I gave too many second chances to my exes in the past and found myself trapped in endless revolving door situation.

@BoxOfCats @bluedabadeedabadoo guys, you should try DadHugsForYourSoul anxious attachment pack. It sorted me right out and now I don't even see them.
Or just binge watch his IG content.

Amen to not giving eleventy billion chances x

This is absolutely why. We are used to love being inconsistent and hard to get - we feel we have to work for it so attract avoidant men.

Scrap that, not going on a date this week. We've just had a phone call and he sounds like my penultimate ex - same accent, same meandering, admitted to smoking a joint as we were talking and was just straight odd.
Never mind. I have four other conversations going on Tinder at the moment. Something decent will turn up.

Thanks, I’ll check it out 🙂

@Andsoitsovergood job you did a pre date phone call! Would have been such a waste of your time to have gone on the date

So I have a 2nd date tonight with Mr Tattoo. He seems so sweet. Last night he suggested coming over to me for a walk whilst I was waiting for me son at ju jitsu (I’d said I should use the time to go for a walk but was unmotivated) and has booked the activities for tonight’s date. He’s consistent with texting and always makes effort in his messages. This is the first time he has ever dated in this way so I’m cautious that he is a bit over excited/ inexperienced and things may change- not sure if I’m being realistic here or just have a really low bar?
No red flags so far but he does have ADHD which I am cautious about.
im looking forward to tonight. This feels quite refreshing considering previous experiences 😊

Exciting! I have a date with Mr Pushbike tomorrow night. He's a bit older but the ex was age appropriate and had less vavavoom than my 80 year old parentals so...

@Nosdacariad @bluedabadeedabadoo Good luck for your dates, look forward to hearing the updates!