Dating thread 54-New year new irons?

[bluedabadeedabadoo]

The Rules:
-The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating -Develop a thick skin
-Do not invest emotionally too soon
-It’s all BS until it actually happens
-Trust your gut instinct
-People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault
-Know your worth
-If it's not fun, stop
-Loo update is mandatory
-No dating the thread
-Treat others as you'd like to be treated
-Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
-The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
-OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item*

So I’m going to be back on the apps - split with bf of 18 months yesterday. Was heading towards the end, but didn’t think it’d end quite as it did. Never mind! I’m going to give myself a couple of weeks and then venture back into it all. Which apps are any good these days? I’ve used Match previously but not going back there 🤣

i thick they’re all fraught with narcissists but bumble and hinge seem most popular

No @BoxOfCats I can’t get past it. I did tell him why though rather than just go for the slow fade. He explained what he really meant was he wanted someone ‘stylish’ which just reinforced the point as I don’t think high heels and a short dress is stylish!

Good on you for organising to meet Mr Charismatic, Mr Nomad is playing with fire and will lose you if he’s not careful.

Morning all so met with Mr Tattoo yesterday…. So not my type but so easy to talk to. We spent 3 hours just chatting and I will be seeing him
again. Things have really quietened down with Mr Investment. I don’t know if he just got what he wanted so is backing off or if he’s waiting for me to initiate next meet up etc or whether he feels like I do. I wish we didn’t DTD and I’ll not be doing it again so fast. It does feel a bit weird now and it’s made me not want to do it again with him! Sex with no connection isn’t for me. I’m not sure what to do…. Whether to speak to him about it or just sit back and see what happens in terms of him initiating. I’d be open to getting to know him a bit more and seeing if sex develops more naturally but I feel like it will always be on his agenda. I think all he’s looking for is someone to go round to his on an evening. He hasn’t suggested actual dates at all.

@Browniesandcustard I still prefer tinder to any other apps. I'd love to get more involved with Feeld but the app is so glitchy that I am finding it hard. Also the notifications are killing me 😁. It alerts you every time someone likes you and I was getting about 50 in the first day after signing up. Great for your self-esteem if nothing else!

@bluedabadeedabadoo oh, I wouldn't initiate anything with Mr Investment. Do I remember correctly that you didn't think sex was particularly good? Life's too short to waste time on this!
Mr Tattoo sounds promising so far.

Had another sleepover with Mr AC. We seem to be stuck in this weird place where we want it to work but can't figure out the way to do it. Still don't know if I am single or in a relationship. I'm expecting him to bolt any moment now, sadly, as he seems quite despondent about our lack of time together.

All very busy and @Browniesandcustard sorry to hear of your split.

Does it annoy anyone else when guys ask when you're free then if you're specific they expect you to save that date for them while they faff about?

I've started saying "Fridays and Saturdays are generally good".

ive met some nice guys on Feeld

I'm Miss Grumpy today, just blocked someone who messaged yesterday lunchtime and by 10pm had sent "ok have a nice life" because I hadn't replied.

I like timely comms but that's way too demanding!

@Nosdacariad he sounds like a pain. Onwards x

Yes all I could think was what he'd be like if something actually bad happened!

Funny isn’t it that some men’s idea of ‘stylish’ is stuck in the 80’s with everything on display.

@TwistedWonder I know! I do wonder how many of them still think that way, but then when I look around me, I don’t know anyone who dresses like that and they’re all married to men aged 40-50 so some obviously appreciate a more up to date look x

@Browniesandcustardi get most matches on Tinder but Hinge I’ve had best quality matches. I’ve dated 7 people in the last 4 months, 4 hinge, 2 tinder and 1 breeze. I only went back on tinder last Sunday and had 2 dates already (Mr Investment and Mr Tattoo).

@Andsoitsoversex wasn’t the best but I think that is because there was no connection so felt a bit awkward and because he was rushing. It wasn’t terrible and I think has potential. Sorry if TMI but he couldn’t stay hard/ finish due to using a condom (he would have been happy to go without). It’s a non negotiable for me and fl him he said he always has the same issues with condoms so I partially think he may not be bothered in continuing to date me due to that too. I also am not convinced he wants to date and just seems to want someone to go to his, watch tv, have sex and I want more than this but I always wonder ‘why if’. I think I won’t initiate but if he does I’ll tell him that I’m happy to continue to see him but don’t want the focus to be sex and want to try to build a connection before DTD again.

@Nosdacariadyes that is demanding when he has no idea of your circumstances at all and I think doesn’t bode well to have that sort of attitude from the off.

Thanks @bluedabadeedabadoo

FWIW I would worry about the attention to his sexual health of a guy taking that approach and I'd hazard a guess the ED exists without the condoms too.

Yer it does worry me slightly and I wouldn’t go unprotected until he was tested but I had the same issue with the last guy I was seeing too! So 2/3 guys I’ve slept with in recent months whether can’t perform with condoms or can’t keep them on. Is this normal?

I've no idea! I suspect ED with means ED without but not being a man...

I had a busy dating weekend!

Tried my hand at being a cougar on Friday night and met someone 9 years younger for a beer. Not for me 🤣 so back to looking at middle aged fellas.

Spent yesterday with Boat Man... He's such a lovely person and great fun but I've realised I just don't fancy him. And he's so keen... We've known each other not even a month! I won't see him for the next couple of weeks so need to have a think about how to let him down gently.

Fireman popped up while I was out with a recently bereaved friend, felt sad so invited him over... Needless to say he was a no show. He's deleted on everything now.

I might come off the apps, it's all a bit of a headfuck at the moment and need to centre on myself again.

Maybe you just need a rest @CleanShirt

Well well well. It looks like I was right and Mr AC either ghosted me already or is planning to ditch me tomorrow. Sent a message last night trying to make plans for a meet up. No reply, and he already unmatched me on Tinder. What a shame that yet another seemingly normal bloke ended up being a coward. At least we've had some lovely time together but I'm a bit embarrassed on his behalf.

So rubbish @Andsoitsover. What ever happened to a polite "thanks but no thanks" message

Don't know. It sucks, doesn't it?
I'm still hoping that he will redeem himself by at least calling me today and ending it properly.

Yes think this is normal!!

Wow really!?! I thought I was just having bad luck!

Finally told MrX not to contact me again. Three emails since.

His bio on Tinder now reads "I won't mess you about" 🚩🚩🚩

I have half a mind to only match with people with nothing in their profiles so at least I won't feel like I'm being lied to!