Found my own engagement ring, what do I do?

[Boymum2811]

My partner and I have discussed marriage quite a lot and I know he'll ask in the near future. We went shopping a few months ago and ended up in a jewelers, and I saw an amazing ring I liked, for a bit of fun I tried it on with a couple of others as I'd never really known what would suit me and thought it was harmless fun and if he knows my size plus an idea now of what I might like, then it's much easier for him to choose something, in the future.

Fast forward to 2 days ago a delivery guy knocked on the door, asked me to sign for a parcel and HE TOLD ME "it needs signing for, because it's expensive gold from Ernest Jones" firstly what an absolute Twt for telling me, but also my other half what a Twt for not being more discreet.

There was 1 rings I loved and that was wherr it was from, I burst out crying as obviously the surprise was ruined :( he was also gutted and fuming this happened and has put a complaint in and was told all packaging was discreet.

Do I accept that the surprise is now out of the bag and just leave it to my partner decide what to do about it, or do I tell him to send it back and then just leave things to happen naturally. It just doesn't feel special anymore, like this to me should be an exciting special moment for us both, but we're both left feeling upset and flat about it.

Am I overreacting? Should I just suck it up and be happy he's made such an effort to consider what I wanted.

I feel so conflicted about the whole thing!

Plus even if OP does intend to go fishing for attention on social media, which we can't assume, this fuck up doesn't impact on her ability to do that.

Yes, it should have been handled better.

But you're over-reacting.

You've repeatedly discussed marriage; you tried on together. You already knew you love and want to marry each other. Set a date and plan the day.

You are making way too much of this. I hope you can adjust your expectations of perfection in life or you are likely to be perpetually disappointed.

They have some offers on watches at the mo...maybe he's replaced his old sekonda?🤞

Oh stop being so silly. You have a man you want to marry and who wants to marry you and a ring that you love. What on earth is there to cry over?

Massive over reaction on your part. Marriage is about a life long partnership not a 30 second instagram perfect moment with angels singing in the background and an engagement ring arriving on a velvet cushion as a total surprise - you have already spoken about getting engaged, tried on the ring and basically told him exactly which ring you want so any “imaginary romance” in the moment is a sham anyway.

I just saw a decoration hanging from the Christmas tree that I had planned to give my daughter on Christmas eve. It was just a silly little idea that I had. Its a fluffy pink fairy and it's so her; I had an image of giving it to her, and her loving it and putting it on the tree. My husband had found it hidden away and put it on the tree. I dont know if my daughter has seen it or not but when I realised it was on the tree my first instinct was to cry! I am a sensible, resilient person and for a moment, the silly disappointment stung. Yes, I'm mature enough to have children. Yes, I have endured more challenging hardships in my life. But in that moment I felt so annoyed that the surprise was ruined that I had to walk out of the room. I get so disappointed when things don't go the way I had planned, and it passes. It doesnt mean I am totally silly and frivolous. Sometimes it takes a bit of processing when even simple things we were looking forward to dont happen as we had hoped.

@LowkeyLoco We really are not all that crackers.

Some of us are pretty friendly, don't belch in public, can scrub floors and feed a dozen people from one chicken...
🤯

If you can’t cope with receiving a ring you love as a surprise, then I’d avoid marriage or commitment for a few years.

So your partner was standing behind you when the courier asked you to sign for a parcel which would have been in his name. And as he had ordered something would have been expecting a delivery.

Yet he stood there and didn't say anything when they said it needs a signature?

Also you in fact, did not find your engagement ring as per the thread title.

You laughed about it, but also don't know now whether to tell him he should send it back.

It seems a bit all over the place doesn't it?

Wear the ring and have a ‘funny’ story to tell forevermore, about how the currier ruined your proposal (not funny now but it’ll be good conversational fodder in the future)

cant understand why DH wouldn’t just play it down and say he’d ordered you a gold necklace for Christmas, then proposed on Christmas Eve! You wouldn’t have expected it!

Or just gone to the shop to get it, but still.

I found my engagement ring hidden in DPs wardrobe. By accident. I’d been looking for something else. I never told him I’d found it. We had a trip planned so I figured he would propose then and he did. It was beautiful though I was slightly on edge as to exactly when he would do it - but still he couldn’t have planned it any better. Absolutely magical.

Honestly - I think you’re over reacting. I think if you both just agree to sort of forget about it and leave him to do his arrangements as he has likely planned. Put it completely out of your mind and think of this period now as your ‘pre-engagement’ - enjoy it. You will probably weirdly find you both get on much better at this time of your relationship too!

Get a grip OP. You've met your future husband and he's bought you a beautiful ring. That's better than any number of surprises.

Plus they've already set up home together and are parents.

Even better. Shes a very lucky woman.

There is no way a delivery courier would know what is inside a parcel. Even if it had Ernest Jones on the packaging, it could be anything in there - earrings, pendant, watch. He certainly would not have known it was ‘high value gold’. Why did your boyfriend get it delivered to your shared home knowing you might open the door? I mean, seriously, this is batshit.

Why did you immediately jump to it being a ring and not another piece of jewellery that he has bought you for Christmas?

Your reaction is rather dramatic and having histrionics so easily doesn’t bode well for married life.

At least you have a partner who loves you. Some of us will never have that

Massive overreaction. I doubt the delivery person even commented tbh.

Congratulations ! Wear the ring you love and marry the man you love :)

Another one to say this is insane!! How old are you?? Wild drama over nothing.

Are you in love with the idea of being proposed to or are you looking forward to deepening your partnership to grow together?

Your fantasy may be spoilt by this surprise but your wish is about to come true. Focus on the chance to love and be loved by someone who cherished you. Not everyone gets to find that special someone. Laugh this off and get some perspective girl. Kiss your man and take the ring. Congratulations!!

I don't get how the delivery driver knew what was in the parcel?
Of course he would have known the package needed a signature but 'expensive' gold, how could he know that?
Hope this might lighten the mood but reminds me of the time I got engaged 20 years ago and I rang up to put the ring on the insurance.
I said to the person on the phone I have an expensive ring to put on the policy.
I was asked how expensive, when I said £2000 I was told 'that is not expensive'.
Wind, sails taken out of, came to mind!

This 💯

What a tit!! Hope the person who said that tripped and fell on the way to the coffee machine 😆