Bad sex. New relationship. Small penis

[Ohblimey2025]

I've met a very nice man who ticks all the boxes, but is absolutely dreadful in bed. I don't think it helps that his penis isn't very big and he also has a bit of a tummy.
He's only slept with a couple of women (we are in our 50s) and literally has no clue! He's very religious (I'm not), so finds it hard to talk about sex. I've had to fake it every time we've had sex as he's so disappointed with himself if I don't cum.
Can old dogs be taught new tricks? I've even intoduced toys but don't enjoy them as he thinks it's a failure on his behalf.
I've had a full filling sex life with other men over the years so I'm sort of astounded that someone can be still be this bad in their 50s.
Constructive and gentle feedback only please.

I presume you have a body like Pamela Anderson?

You really don't have to fake, how will he ever improve if he thinks he's satisfying you?!
That aside it sounds like a non starter so I'd end it.

The religious side is insurmountable, sorry.

Do you really want to go to the effort of teaching him whilst protecting his ego?
Move on OP, it's too big a leap.

That's just nasty.

You really can't see, can you?

He won’t get better if he can’t face his own problem and you are helping to mask it. Sure, he is going to feel a bit shit but it’s up to him to decide to learn from it or not. You’re doing no favours by faking.

You have to sit him down and gently say you understand why it is hard but sex is a normal part of a healthy relationship. He needs to be an adult and talk about what he’s going to do to get better and learn to pleasure you. He needs to accept that sex cant be a pity party. It isnt a performance for his ego it is a team sport. If he isn’t willing to do his part of the team then this relationship (or really, any relationship) is not for him.

It might seem harsh but it’s the truth. You can’t be expected - and no woman can - to fake enthusiasm and enjoyment just so he can feel good
about himself. When do you get to feel good??

My eyes are fine thanks.

Just because someone doesn't agree with you doesn't mean they don't understand or are stupid if that's your point.

If you don’t mind no orgasms and bad sex then go for it. You’re already faking it to make him happy.

Personally I’d end things. Eventually resentment creeps in and his lack of wanting to satisfy you will eat at your self esteem. If he’s willing to change and make an effort then maybe there’s a chance.

Dump. It won’t get better.

The belly and penis size wouldn't be deal breakers for me - the best sex I've ever had was with an overweight ex who whose dick was on the small side, but he was very dominant and very giving in bed. So those are red herrings I think. It's the lack of confidence and the embarassment/shame around sex that are bigger problems.

This is the best advice so far 👌

It can definitely be taught but you need to be able to talk about it honestly and openly.

And if you can’t, you shouldn’t be having sex with him anyway. I think a good life rule is don’t suck the genitals of people you can’t talk frankly with about sex.

It doesn’t have to be framed as what he doesn’t do. You can start by telling him what you like. “I would love it if we tried… are you up for it?” “I really like to… how do you feel about that?” “It would really turn me on if you’d let me take charge tonight… can I?”

Small penis wouldn’t bother me. Hottest bloke I ever slept with was minuscule. But the things he muttered in my ear while we were fucking… oh my. Doubt your man will ever feel comfortable talking dirty given his religious upbringing but there’s nothing stopping a Godly person knowing how to worship someone’s body… ;-)

I wouldn’t throw in the towel yet. But if he isn’t interested in going along with you in the journey, I would end it. You’ll only get more resentful.

Tell him he must immediately learn other techniques and use toys, because it’s what Jesus would have wanted.

Problem solved. 😀😀

You’ve built a rod for your own back by faking it. Yes he can be taught but not if you’re going to shield his feelings. To be honest it doesn’t sound like something worthy of spending your time doing. Best just to move on

Life is too short, it’d be a no from me.

“What Would Jesus Do?”

”Go down on me and worship my clit until his prayers came out of my mouth.”

Absolutely this.

I think you're a bigot.

Erect penises?

Exactly. Tthe perfect person dosent exist OP.Theres so.much more to a relationship than penis size.

How long in life do you go on searching for the perfect partner.

So you find a man who fosent have that problem but he comes with lots of other problems and baggage.

Life is far too short for bad sex. I would throw this one back.

You understand why its hard lol.

Keep a straight face at that point OP.
Be prepared he might come vack with slme things he dosent like about you.

Sex is important to me, so finding my ideal
partner would have that on the list.

If we weren’t sexually compatible, I’m far too old to be helping someone put that work in, so it wouldn’t be a relationship with any chance for me.

Very funny. 😀
But we don’t actually know that this BBSD chap is a Christian do we?
For all we know he may be a committed Satanist.
But all the Satanists/Goths I’ve ever come across in my long life have been amazing lovers.
Perhaps the OP could convert him to the Dark Side. 😈 😂