Did you stay and regret it?

[Username1233]

For context, I have been with my partner for almost 13 years. We got together when I was 16, we have 2 DC, a house together, and quite frankly a wonderful life. He is an amazing dad, he is a caring and attentive partner. He’s made silly mistakes in the past, but never been unfaithful, never not put the kids first. He cleans, he cooks, he gets super involved in school activities, he’s like a unicorn.
I feel so guilty for writing this, because I have no reason to feel the way I do, but deep deep down I don’t think I love him in that way anymore. He really wants to get married, but I have no desire to do that with him. The physical attraction has gone, and intimacy has been all but non existent for almost a year. But he’s my best friend, we enjoy the same activities, he’s so much fun to go out with, and I love him so much (perhaps just not in love with him).

He doesn’t want us to separate, but I feel unbelievably selfish feeling the way I do, and potentially stopping him from finding someone who’s willing to give him the love he deserves.
We’re both still young, we both have an opportunity to potentially find someone else, but of course I realise the grass isn’t greener on the other side.
If you had stayed, because except from the whole “being IN love” everything else worked, did you have any regrets? I’m terrified of loosing my best friend, but I feel incredibly selfish staying for my own fear. Of course we have spoken about the kids to, something else which breaks my heart, because again, it seems incredibly selfish to break what appears to be a perfect family unit because something is missing.
Part of me thinks if you have to ask the question, you already have the answer. But another part of me thinks I need to grow up and just get on with it.
Please no harsh comments, I truly feel awful as it is.

I agree with pp. I left and haven’t regretted it and exdh and I coparent very well and are still friends.

I hear that he does alot for the children but not so much for you. Go on dates with him without the children, and rekindle the fire of your relationship. The kids are supposed to come after the partner not equal or before.

This works both ways.
It's usually the woman writing on here her oh is distant because she has given all their attention to their children.
It's actually quite rare for a woman to write im fed up my husband gives all his attention to the kids and I'm feeling left out.
It's giving Kevin from Motherland vibes.

Ah. A two year old. I’ve not got further than this on the thread but I’d hang in there. Wait till the kids are older and you have more of you as a person back.

Also;

“never been unfaithful, never not put the kids first. He cleans, he cooks, he gets super involved in school activities, he’s like a unicorn.”

How depressing that this is a ‘unicorn’ when you are simply describing the basics that most women do without pause for thought.

Who carries the mental load though? If that isn’t shared equally that might make a difference too.