My partner is angry because I wont tell him my Bodycount

[northern2025]

He has repeatedly asked me and I haven’t answered him but now he has sat me down and said think carefully exactly what you say and wanted me to talk about my sec life since I was a teen, when I am mid forties now
I have been single for quite a bit of this time and had several short term relationships
he is making me feel anxious and isn’t speaking to me now as thinks I can’t be trusted

Because I feel worn down and anxious about being on my own I guess
my parents are dead and I don’t have kids but this week a couple of friends have sat me down and asked me why I am with him

Well value yourself enough that you don’t need this thing in your life.

Tell him a really high number and see what his reaction is. Tell him 60-100, whatever you feel like. This should sort out what he's really like.

You’d rather be abused than alone?

How old are you both?

You are saying he isnt good to you. Leave

He is rapidly approaching 50 I am slightly younger

This is what I need to unpick

How long have you been with it?

If your friends are telling you this it must be bad- it takes a lot to speak like that and they must value and care about you very much to speak up. Don't put up with him him. Sounds like you have good friends who will support you. You must be on eggshells - it's no way to live- a partner should enhance your life not drag you down

He sounds useless and immature. Get rid babe xx

Jesus Christ. Months of misogynistic pestering by some twat and you continue to tolerate it?

I don’t have kids or living parents either, but i wouldn’t have a cup of coffee with such a loser let alone sleep with them and tolerate their abuse. Are you able to access any counseling or psychotherapy? You are worth more this.

So you’d rather live a miserable life with an abusive cunt than be singje?

Honestly freeing yourself from this cretin will be liberating. Listen to your friends, they’re right.

As is often said in here, look at the freedom programme. Raise your self esteem and learn to be happy on your own. It will change your life

Tbh he sounds like a dangerous, unhinged, lunatic and you need to run as fast as you can.

I think I know a roundabout number ish but simply could never recall half of them as so insignificant and so long ago. Mid 40s for context.

Don't get in to this game of his. My ex partner started like this and it only got worse and worse. He hounded me for every detail about my past relationships and was awfully abusive. No answer you give will be good enough. I was tricked in to telling him as he was very clever about manipulating the situation to get me to try to defend myself. He would accuse me of not being truthful, that telling him would help his feelings about it etc....nothing was ever the right answer. He would call me every name under the sun....Don't make the mistake I did... get out now

Are you kidding me. What the hell are you doing with this man. He is a controlling arsehole who will use anything you say to control and humiliate you at every opportunity.
Can you not see that this is abuse?
You need to leave him as soon as possible.

Has he caught something nasty and is hoping to blame you? Even if he hasn't, frankly whatever you say he won't believe, I think. So you may as well tell him goodbye. I wouldn't live with someone who has decided I am a liar.

Exactly this!! OP, honestly whatever you tell this man WILL be held against you forever and then it will be 1million more questions off the back of your answer. He will find fault in anything you say. You need to leave, please leave and do not look back. He will probably come begging once you do saying he will drop it all etc, he won’t. This is a classic form of abuse

Red flag
It's irrelevant you could lie and make up any figure and then what ? What will he do with that info ? How does it benefit him
If you stay this is step one it gets worse but I bet there was more before this.

Ltb and make your parting shot that he had the smallest penis...
Nothing you say will be right.. Confide in your friends. Christmas with them will be great for you. Start the new year a new you. Without that dead weight dragging you down.

And how anxious are you feeling right now about the way he is treating you?

Your friends can see what's happening to you. Please, for goodness sake, leave this despicable creature. You do not need a misogynistic bastard like him in your life. Nobody does. He has no right to demand you tell him anything, and absolutely no right whatsoever to judge you on either your words or your silence. He is not God. He is not your jailer. He has no respect for you or any other woman. He is not your judge, jury and executioner.

Dump the bastard.

I think a fair number of men want to know about how many other sexual partners their partners have had, were they better than them, bigger , enjoyed it more etc, but there’s asking and accepting the answer whether it’s full details or mind your own business and there’s badgering/ threatening/sulking etc ,that’s just unacceptable

He sounds fucking insane. Leave!

No, just no. For the love of God, kick this one to the kerb because with men like this it will never, ever end and a life of utter misery lies ahead

This always puzzles me. There is only one answer to this type of question and that is 'mind your own business'. And if they don't like it, off they can go.