My partner is angry because I wont tell him my Bodycount

[northern2025]

He has repeatedly asked me and I haven’t answered him but now he has sat me down and said think carefully exactly what you say and wanted me to talk about my sec life since I was a teen, when I am mid forties now
I have been single for quite a bit of this time and had several short term relationships
he is making me feel anxious and isn’t speaking to me now as thinks I can’t be trusted

But would you judge sulk and call someone a slag? Because that is why I haven’t told him because he is not rational about it

Please dump this guy. He’s a walking red flag. Stay with him and regret it.

Treating you like that would be abusive. If he has done this before then I would leave him. If its just a question then just answer it. I would also be carful of taking advice from people who just want to fight

Well your ‘bodycount’ (horrible expression btw) should go up now after you dump his controlling arse.

Why are you tolerating weeks of this shit? Tell him to fuck off and dump the twat

Has he told you about all his past relationships?
Maybe he's desperate to keep up with your score!

Eugh! My fanny has shrivelled up so much just reading that, I need to take a bath to rehydrate.

Dump, dumpety dump.

Honestly, Northern, what do you think about this question? Do you think it's right for him to want to know in such detail? And what do you feel about the way he's speaking to you, warning you to think carefully about what you say?

How long have you been with this man? And have you heard of the Freedom Programme? It's free to do online and could give you much to think about.

That question is never just a question though. Its always loaded and tells more about the asker

He’s a misogynistic prick who thinks your worth depends on how many men you slept with.
Has he told you his? Match it and see what he says.
He has no business knowing and he’s not asking you for any reason other than to make you ashamed.
He is showing you who he is and how he thinks, run a mile.

I've told my current partner plenty - because he's completely non judgemental, and we discuss past experiences as "what was fun, what was hot, what would we like to do in future".

Any past partners that asked "body count" - huge red flag and if you tell someone who has that mindset, they'll likely bring it up and hold it against you in any arguments for ever more.

Anyone who calls you a slag - instant relationship end. I love sex. Anyone who thinks it's ok to weaponise that against me - hell no, he's gone. You're worth way more than that.

Look up Hollie McNish performing her Ideal Bodycount poem. It's great.

So, why are you engaging with it? Tell him it’s none of his business. Then - if you’ve any sense - end it.

Why are you allowing him to treat you like this?

The more he pushes, the less likely I would tell him. He doesn’t trust you and without trust, the relationship is dead in the water.

I think he has worn me down with his poor behaviour as he has been banging on about this for months
Says he no longer loves me as I think he is an idiot as I told him I hadn’t been that promiscuous
sends me Facebook reals in the middle of the night where misogynist men are talking about a woman’s value being directly linked to how many people they have spelt with

You need to leave this person immediately, OP.

Why are you still with him?

I’ve been married for 20 years and my DH has never asked me this question and I’ve never asked him. It’s completely irrelevant

When my husband asked. I answerd, no issue at all with it. Despite my number being twice his.

If he is a bad guy in general thats the issue, not being curious about your past.

He should also be willing to answer the same question

If my partner behaved this way I would immediately end it. It’s a precursor to really nasty abusive controlling behaviour.

He’s been watching those wanky, misogynistic so-called relationship males on Facebook hasn’t he? Which is in itself is enough reason to dump him.

Agree. It’s not a question I’ve ever been asked and I’ve never asked either. It’s irrelevant imo and any man who pushed me for a number would be gone

Thank you ! She is fanatic

Me and DH have been together 20 years and we never discuss it. It’s not relevant and our ‘numbers’ have never been spoken about. Ask him what relevance it has.

To this man I would make a number up and make sure it was a large one. "I dunno, lost count at about 35?? What about you?" If he is annoyed or anything of the sort, I'd laugh in his face and say "jealousy isn't attractive - BOY, BYE"

No No and again no- he is a controlling twat- literally none of his business. I would tell him to fuck off to be honest you can do better. Everyone (unless you got together at 13) has a past and it's nothing to do with your current relationship at all! I've been with DH over 30yrs and we sort of exchanged our histories way back then but we were 21 when we met so really so not a huge amount to disclose. As a mature woman no way would I even go there- he can fuck off and go and meet the Virgin Mary if that's what he is looking for. I genuinely cannot remember stuff like this from over 30 yrs ago either. Or tell him 2 people. But he would probably make a big deal about it that to so get rid. Errrgh really hate this sort of misogynistic shite. Tell him you are dumping his because you like a much bigger cock than he has!