My partner is angry because I wont tell him my Bodycount

[northern2025]

He has repeatedly asked me and I haven’t answered him but now he has sat me down and said think carefully exactly what you say and wanted me to talk about my sec life since I was a teen, when I am mid forties now
I have been single for quite a bit of this time and had several short term relationships
he is making me feel anxious and isn’t speaking to me now as thinks I can’t be trusted

Im 63 and single and no way would I ever be so desperate as to go out with a man like this. Id have laughed in his face and booted him straight out of the door after telling him that all the hundreds of men I've slept with had bigger dicks than him.
He sounds like an ageing incel.

OP, I've read all your responses on this thread, though not every single post written by others. You've had some excellent advice and support, and it's great to see a shift in you as the thread has progressed. You seem to be seeing through the fog and hopefully you can see how lovely life could be when the sun comes out again.

Just to add my two cents... my husband died last year. I don't need any sympathies because it was not a happy marriage with him being financially and emotionally abusive. In one way I'm sad that he's no longer here because I miss the man I knew in the very beginning. The man I hoped he would always be. However, being on my own has been enlightening. I had just turned 60 when he died. I do sometimes miss having someone else in the house. The flip side is I don't have anyone here telling me what to do, belittling me, refusing to participate in family life, withholding money and generally making my life miserable. In time I may let someone new in my life, but right now I'm enjoying being single, being able to make my own decisions, do what I want, watch what I want, eat what I want...the list goes on. Please don't be scared of being on your own. Make it your New Year's resolution to not let this misogynistic, abusive man back into your life. Save up for that coat and the boots and make 2026 the year you start living the life you want. Good luck to you OP. I hope you stay strong x

@AngelicKatythank you 😊 the boots are a work in progress but a pleasant task!

and I do appreciate everyone who has taken the time to post.
I am slowly feeling better, a bit fragile but relatively jolly about the Christmas season
I have booked the dog into a special course next year on Sunday which was expensive but we will both get a lot of pleasure out of it.
I have booked on the free counselling service at work
I can’t go back, he told me what his issue with and it’s related to things that occurred in 1999/2000.
I am okay all things considered, Im reaching out to my friends and have things booked including a short break before Christmas 😊

@northern2025 So his "issue" pre-dates your relationship with him by twenty years?! OK then. 😳
Well, I'm so pleased you've freed yourself from him OP and that you have lots of joyful things planned. Here's to a great 2026 (and beyond!) for you. All the very best OP. 🤗

One of these days I will be back to update this post

I am going to post a photo of the the leopard print coat, and the red boots and the dog lying next to me loyal and lovely as ever

It’s controlling and intrusive!

No one “needs” to know everything about another person, it’s also abusive to insist on knowing!

Ref flag OP!

You are so much better off without someone like this in your life OP. Hope you're doing well! 💕

he told me what his issue with and it’s related to things that occurred in 1999/2000.

If that's genuine, I wonder if he realises what a pathetic little loser that makes him appear? Deciding that he has a massive issue with something that happened 26 years ago is just ludicrous.

Why can’t you just tell him?

what is the big deal?

Either he accepts it and all is well or he doesn’t and you leave

that’s the litmus test

I think you need to read the updates!

OP, I wish you a happy Christmas and your present to yourself is happiness and safety in your own home, and enjoying the friends who have your back. Please do change the locks. Letting himself in when you are in bed shows he can’t be trusted to just disappear from your life.

@MrsHLQ

She shouldn't have to tell him because it's none of his business, we are all entitled to have a past. Also, this twat sounds like he will use a woman's sexual history as a stick to beat her with.

Yes please do, @northern2025 - wishing you all the best!

HE is a swinger? And you're not? How does that work?

No the litmus test is I don’t want to discuss my private sex life before I met you, if you insist on knowing that’s weird!

Absolutely. It’s none of his fucking business and it’s obvious from the OP’s posts this is about control and having a stick to beat her with. He doesn’t care about her number, it’s just an excuse to abuse her

I reckon if you did tell him, then anytime you have a disagreement it will end with him bringing it up to throw it in your face to shame and embarrass you..

That's how these guys are... This is the only reason he really wants to know.

This. Plus there are always misogynistic double standards and slut shaming involved with this type of question. Not to mention the use of the nasty words “body count”.

If anyone would ask me (most wouldn’t dare!) l would simply say “exactly the correct number”.

Any time anyone has ever asked me this question my answer has never changed: None of your fucking business.

You can always tell the men from the boys as only the boys while sulk an get aggressive about it. Life is far too short to have people like that in your life.

It won't be related to those events by the wayx he's just trying to make himself seem more sympathetic now he realises you aren't going to stand for his abuse anymore. He overshot the runway trying to be controlling so is now frantically backpedaling. It's horseshit.

If it was before you were with him, it's none of his business if you've had the Household Cavalry!

I'll admit I have listened to very little of Andrew Tate, but I thought he was a cultural conservative who believes in monogamous relationships.

No. He's a pimp who treats women like property.

Leave him.

Hi OP, hope you're doing OK.
I've just seen these and thought of you: https://mintvelvet.com/products/hazel-knee-height-boot (They're a bit more reasonably priced than the previous ones I found.) Merry Christmas! 😃