My partner is angry because I wont tell him my Bodycount

[northern2025]

He has repeatedly asked me and I haven’t answered him but now he has sat me down and said think carefully exactly what you say and wanted me to talk about my sec life since I was a teen, when I am mid forties now
I have been single for quite a bit of this time and had several short term relationships
he is making me feel anxious and isn’t speaking to me now as thinks I can’t be trusted

OP this man is not good.
He treats you badly, judges you harshly and gives you the silent treatment over petty things.
He wants to control your emotions so you hop to his tune and do his bidding, as a cowed, compliant woman.
Give yourself the best Christmas present this year - freedom from this man and time to think. You deserve that.

From your other posts, though, you know you need to get out, or be in this horrible, controlling situation forever. It is outrageous that he wears you down like this, and punishes you for not being a virgin. Please don't waste any more time on this pathetic loser.

This

Only angry red pill types exists talk like this

What’s his body count out of interest?

Tell him 53 and be done with it (him!)

In which case, this is also him (and you): https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/5326480-overwhelmed-and-my-boyfriend-keeps-letting-himself-into-my-home-and-finding-it-in-a-mess

I cannot believe you’re still in this relationship. From which you admit you get nothing, you’re just scared of being ‘lonely’. I’m not sure what more we can say.

He’s not your partner OP, he’s your abuser. Please get away from this dreadful man.

Seriously, joking aside, there is absolutely no future with this guy, just dump him.

I don't think I've ever asked anyone. I hate to be asked myself. Sending you videos from FB about a woman's value is based on how many (few, rather) men she's been with is just stupid. This crap is not mainstream and not how a decent man thinks. Plus he's said he doesn't love you anymore... how much more do you need to hear/see to realise just get rid of him?!

Do it now. Do not wait to have 1 more Happy Christmas. Do not worry about bursting his little bubble or making him sad or whatever. Just end things.

This is similar to how all the other posts ended. Yet you’re still there. I very much hope you leave this time, but it really doesn’t seem like you will.

You know that people can post as many threads as they want? Mumsnet doesn't set a limit and often, if someone has an abusive partner, it can take a while and a lot of encouragement for them to finally bite the bullet and leave/dump them.

If you are getting irritated, just scroll pastt this thread rather than scolding the OP.

Massive red flag. He will have picked up loads of other crap in the manosphere-send him back there where he belongs.

I was literally about to post that he's obviously been watching all the SM idiots from 'trust me bro' university banging on about a woman's worth. Honestly OP chuck this one back...call it an early Christmas present

Go back to these friends and tell them you’ve decided to leave him. Think if you have other people who can offer real life support.

Actually, I was going to suggest she said "Ooh, somewhere between five and six hundred, but I don't know the exact number...". That'll get him out of the door nice and quickly. Prick.

Please leave him. You deserve to be happy and being with an abusive twat isn’t happiness.

I don't think he'd believe you, whatever you said. BTW, has he told you his body count, or does it only apply to you?

please do some work on your self esteem and dump this loser. I find it v upsetting that you think this is all you deserve. The man is hideous and anyone else would have dumped him eons ago. Mysoginistic, woman hating arsehole, he really is. Dump and block and get some therapy.

You don’t need to explain yourself or your past before him to him. He needs to be gone.
Ive been married for nearly 20 years and with my husband for nearly 30. I don’t think he’s ever asked how many people I’ve slept with (it was a fair amount given my age at the time) but I haven’t made out I was a saint either.
it simply doesn’t matter to him or me. What matters what goes on between you.
This guy sounds vile and alarming. Sincerely, why are you still putting up with this like you’re a little girl who has to answer to him and be ashamed? Sod that.

Get the fuck away from this dude.

Your friends and sis have already clocked him, if they have already sat you down for a chat its because they care for you and are really worried.
You need to ask them now for help/support in getting away from him. They are likely praying you will see the light and fuck him off.
You deserve better. Christmas with him will be a lonely degrading affair. Dont do it.

I think what the poster meant was is that the advice won't change; he's an abusive twat and you ought to leave him. You can just go back to previous threads to read the same advice instead of telling us more of the shit he does and for us to repeat: leave- it will never get better but it will get worse.

I'm a very happily married bloke (around 20 yeara) and it's never a conversation I've felt the need to have with my wife, nor her me!

You do see the problem. She doesn't want to share this information and he doesn't have any right to demand it from her. Don't pretend you don't see the problem.

@northern2025 here is everything you've said about him and your relationship with him across three threads in the last 7 months:

I feel so bad because my boyfriend keeps letting himself into my place when I don’t expect him to be there

he knows it has made me cry before

I just wish he would give me a bit of notice but he will spend the evening sulking

he used to be nice to me but he isn’t anymore

Just on the train dreading going home

he isn’t that kind to her

[Your dog] she hides when he is there and refuses to go with him

I would worry what would happen to her if I gave her back

He has gone before I got back because he was in such a huff about the flat

instead I will be making him dinner, apologising for the worst bits of myself and I know he will have dogs about how he thinks I am cheating on him

but now he is unpleasant to me a lot of the time and quite tight with his money

There is no kindness towards me from him, I can’t even remember the last time he paid for anything all he does is dig at me about men I have dated in the past

we have a good life together when he isn’t here

maybe that is why he has started to be unkind to me as I prefer the dog

He isn’t here he has fucked off in a huff I can use the other lock so he can’t get in

I just felt relief when I was coming home today without having to pander to him and hope he throws a crumb of kindness my way

he has me just constantly trying to please him and it’s never enough

I think he has got me so stressed that I am being irrational

I used to think what my perfect day would be and they stopped including him normally they included me and the dog going to the beach and sharing a bag of chips

when people are saying I am lovely I just feel surprised as it’s a long time since I have felt lovely

he is sulking quite badly

I actually don’t he likes me...certainly the looks of disgust he gives me would reflect this

I really don’t know what I have done, but he has totally refused to speak to be for two days

My partner collected me from the station and stayed the night but has been ignoring ever sinceI am racking my brains to think of what I could have done because now I feel stressed and anxious and cannot sleepThe only thing he has said to me is I should know why because of Tuesday night

I ve woken up before and found him standing in the lounge and he got cross because I screamed

I used to tell him that he would end up making me ill with his comments about my past

I have been with him nearly four years
I feel sick and anxious at the moment

I always feel anxious when I go out as I know he doesn’t like it deep downhe asked me “what my body count is” the other week and became cross when I wouldn’t give him a figurehe is always telling me he knows I have another boyfriend

He knows I normally try hard to please him

I know he will use the fact that I haven’t chased him for a response as proof I am with another manit’s relentless

nothing is ever going to change, he isn’t kind enough to me either

he normally has acted up whenever I have been away with work as well

I normally turn myself inside out to placate him

He is incredibly childish

I suspect he will come over so I can see that he is incredibly cross with me

he got a dog and then didn’t like her

he has become increasingly unpleasant

he doesn’t give a rational reason for it

he would sulk about ithe doesn’t give a rational reason for it

he has sat me down and said think carefully exactly what you say and wanted me to talk about my sec life since I was a teen,

he is making me feel anxious and isn’t speaking to me now as thinks I can’t be trusted

Because he will judge me and I will have to explain each and every one

its been going on for weeks he says he can’t ever trust me as I have never told him the truth

whatever I say will he dissected and gone over and over,

would you judge sulk and call someone a slag

he has worn me down with his poor behaviour

Says he no longer loves me

sends me Facebook reals in the middle of the night where misogynist men are talking about a woman’s value being directly linked to how many people they have spelt with

he has become so irrational, and unpleasant.

he has become even worse

I can’t keep on like this

You've lost 4 YEARS of your life to him!

Well done for holding firm on your boundary despite the onslaught from him OP. You've got that burning flame of self-respect even if you feel like you don't, and I hope that is the driver for getting rid of him. You deserve peace.

I would spend several hours nonchalantly and randomly reeling off names, one after the other whilst carrying on with the household chores etc. Then, have a 10 minute break……..and start again.

I wouldnt say it's about needing to seek attention but why havent you ended things? You dont live with him so it should be fairly easy surely? You dont even need to see him in person to end it. Just msg and tell him if he turns up at your door you will call the police.
You've made multiple posts and been given advice and know his behaviour is wrong so just end it and worry about unpacking it after