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Original poster

Ghosted after a great first date. Best response?

1000 replies

WildflowerGardens · 09/12/2025 10:12

I had a first date with a man off hinge on Saturday afternoon - we had coffee and then walked round an illustration fair. The whole time we were laughing and talking animatedly and seemed to have a lot in common. At the end of the date he pulled me into a bear hug and said “see you again soon”.

I texted him that evening to say “Great to meet you, what a fun afternoon!” but he didn’t reply and it’s now Tuesday. I think I’ve been ghosted.

I feel like sending a final message, something like “Ghosting in your forties? I only date grown men: good luck with your ongoing search 👋 ” before blocking him but I’m not sure if I should do this.

My reasoning is that I think ghosting is crap behaviour and people who ghost should be called out on it.

Any advice very welcome.

OP posts:
Calliopespa · 09/12/2025 21:45

Fluffyholeysocks · 09/12/2025 10:16

I would leave it, mirror the effort he is making. If it's a power thing on his behalf - you've taken the power from him.

I agree with this op: don't give him the pleasure of letting him know you are too bothered.

BUT tbh I'm surprised people think Sat to Tuesday is ghosting.

Admittedly all my dating was before online dating, but that I wouldn't have taken that as an unseemly delay - just not breathless excitement, which can itself be off-putting. But maybe with texting etc people are more impatient these days and those patterns have changed.

justabitnuts · 09/12/2025 21:49

This thread 🤯

LemonDrizzleKay · 09/12/2025 21:52

Theslummymummy · 09/12/2025 21:05

Can you not juat send a message without it being salty? 174 replies, not that busy apparently.

Edited

To be fair, she's just spent days editing and turning it into her publisher. She's earned the right to a day on Mumsnet.

Cherryicecreamx · 09/12/2025 22:03

Best response is no response

Rosemary61 · 09/12/2025 22:05

Why don't you use the experience as material for your next novel?

Miniatureschnauzers · 09/12/2025 22:05

WildflowerGardens · 09/12/2025 10:12

I had a first date with a man off hinge on Saturday afternoon - we had coffee and then walked round an illustration fair. The whole time we were laughing and talking animatedly and seemed to have a lot in common. At the end of the date he pulled me into a bear hug and said “see you again soon”.

I texted him that evening to say “Great to meet you, what a fun afternoon!” but he didn’t reply and it’s now Tuesday. I think I’ve been ghosted.

I feel like sending a final message, something like “Ghosting in your forties? I only date grown men: good luck with your ongoing search 👋 ” before blocking him but I’m not sure if I should do this.

My reasoning is that I think ghosting is crap behaviour and people who ghost should be called out on it.

Any advice very welcome.

Nooooooooo! I’ve been in your position, so I know that there is an urge to send a text, but he will just think you are unhinged. The best response is to leave it, as though you couldn’t give a damn, as though you are too busy on other dates with fabulous people. As Michelle Obama said, “as they go low, we go high”!

lucyloo25 · 09/12/2025 22:09

he is clearly not interested so id leave it

Namechangefordaughterevasion · 09/12/2025 22:15

He's clearly not that into you. Don't waste another second of your time on him. Do not send another message. Block and move on.

NeedANapAgain · 09/12/2025 22:17

Since I read only the OP’s posts (all 183 of the repetitive little bastards literary gems), I’m not sure what the general consensus is…bored 12-year-old or unhinged fantasist?

Outside9 · 09/12/2025 22:24

WildflowerGardens · 09/12/2025 10:58

He's the bullet - a short, balding middle aged man with an undistinguished career and zero communication skills.

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I can't understand why he hasn't responded. You sound like an absolute delight.

His loss for sure. I'm sure someone much better and within your league will scoop you up.

Terrytheweasel · 09/12/2025 22:25

This just reminded me of a date I went on that went pretty well and I think we liked each other. Anyway, neither of us messaged afterwards and that was the end of that 🤣
It’s just not that deep. Forget him, block and … NEXT!

ohnotthisagain2020 · 09/12/2025 22:26

Just leave it, obviously.

Jane143 · 09/12/2025 22:27

WildflowerGardens · 09/12/2025 21:03

I, too, have terrible teeth

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you could share dentistry tips if you meet again?🤣

confession247 · 09/12/2025 22:29

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ohnotthisagain2020 · 09/12/2025 22:34

Just realised there are seven pages of OP arguing with anybody who disagreed with her, never seen seven pages of OP updates before, she must have loads and loads of time for this silliness.

That man has seriously dodged a bullet and is breathing a sigh of relief at being blocked 😅

abracadabra1980 · 09/12/2025 22:38

silence is golden. always.

TheLemonLemur · 09/12/2025 22:40

You talked and laughed all afternoon yet he has zero communication skills now he's ghosted you? Just block him and move on it was 1 date. You surely will have another man falling at your feet soon with all the attention you get 🙄

Horrorscope · 09/12/2025 22:47

Stucknstoopit · 09/12/2025 21:01

I’ve read some of the thread now, i feel like that’s enough for me.

Lols at ‘I’m a busy author’ , we’re all busy , is this to suggest authors are busier than everyone else?

‘Actually he replied earlier this afternoon and we’re seeing each other on Saturday so there. And he called me saggy, so we are even. Get a grip, ducky duck’
Reading your responses here makes me feel like you don’t mix with people very often @WildflowerGardens

After 11 hours of posting today, alone, I’m gonna suggest OP’s main ‘authoring’ is on Mumsnet.

What a weird post. I feel sorry for that poor bloke and what might, potentially, be in store.

Beachtastic · 09/12/2025 22:50

Well I'm thrilled to bits for you OP, how splendid that a second date is on the cards. I did wonder if Tuesday morning was too early to be writing him off completely!

You paint quite an alarming picture of yourself, and him 🤣 but I can assure you that there really IS someone out there for everyone, as even I found out eventually (after over half a century)!

Best of luck on Saturday and I hope you can persuade him to improve his (written) communication skills 🌞

Original poster
WildflowerGardens · 09/12/2025 22:50

Horrorscope · 09/12/2025 22:47

After 11 hours of posting today, alone, I’m gonna suggest OP’s main ‘authoring’ is on Mumsnet.

What a weird post. I feel sorry for that poor bloke and what might, potentially, be in store.

Show quote history

I’m capable of multitasking - you should try it sometime - and today completed several edits, accepted two commissions and finished another project.

OP posts:
Original poster
WildflowerGardens · 09/12/2025 22:52

ohnotthisagain2020 · 09/12/2025 22:34

Just realised there are seven pages of OP arguing with anybody who disagreed with her, never seen seven pages of OP updates before, she must have loads and loads of time for this silliness.

That man has seriously dodged a bullet and is breathing a sigh of relief at being blocked 😅

Freelancers who are doing ok don’t have a boss breathing down their neck, ducks, so I use my time how I like. I completed several edits today and accepted a couple of commissions. And actually we’ve been texting about our date on Saturday - enjoy watching Love Island or whatever you like to watch, bye!

OP posts:
ohnotthisagain2020 · 09/12/2025 22:52

WildflowerGardens · 09/12/2025 22:52

Freelancers who are doing ok don’t have a boss breathing down their neck, ducks, so I use my time how I like. I completed several edits today and accepted a couple of commissions. And actually we’ve been texting about our date on Saturday - enjoy watching Love Island or whatever you like to watch, bye!

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Oh dearie, dearie me 😂

Original poster
WildflowerGardens · 09/12/2025 22:53

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Nasty little troll, I’m reporting all discriminatory posts from you. I feel sorry for your children!

OP posts:
ohnotthisagain2020 · 09/12/2025 22:54

This reply has been deleted

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I think you may have hit a nerve there 😅😆

leli · 09/12/2025 23:04

WildflowerGardens · 09/12/2025 10:29

I disagree - I’m a busy author and took time out from finishing edits in order to travel to meet this man, but frankly any woman (or man) who makes time and effort to meet someone should at least get a text saying “I wasn’t feeling it” etc

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I'd rather ghosted!

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