Ghosted after a great first date. Best response?

[WildflowerGardens]

I had a first date with a man off hinge on Saturday afternoon - we had coffee and then walked round an illustration fair. The whole time we were laughing and talking animatedly and seemed to have a lot in common. At the end of the date he pulled me into a bear hug and said “see you again soon”.

I texted him that evening to say “Great to meet you, what a fun afternoon!” but he didn’t reply and it’s now Tuesday. I think I’ve been ghosted.

I feel like sending a final message, something like “Ghosting in your forties? I only date grown men: good luck with your ongoing search 👋 ” before blocking him but I’m not sure if I should do this.

My reasoning is that I think ghosting is crap behaviour and people who ghost should be called out on it.

Any advice very welcome.

Are you an alcoholic?

Silence is dignity, he doesn’t deserve your energy

This

I’m sure you look fine. You weren’t even fat to begin with (not that that would make the things she says to you okay).

You’re also very funny, engaging and clearly intelligent. You have a lot going for you.

Whatevers therapeutic for you at this stage. Tell him to get f**ked if you feel (slightly) better after. Some will say keep to the moral high ground. But you can decide.

And yet you’re bothered that he’s ghosted you! You don’t make him seem very attractive so why are you even bothered??

It's not TS Eliot or Ezra Pound; I can see why no second date.

Clearly.

This thread is a firestorm of shit. What is happening?! 😂

My own days of being physically attractive are behind me - I think years of suffering are etched into my face now

Please try not to respond. I have done this a few times and all it did was left me feeling embarrassed.
If he is keen you will definitely know about it. Anything else after this length of time is likely to be game playing.

meant to say: also , that grab and whisper thing sounds well cheesy, right out of a movie, probably one of his signature moves.

if this is an invitation to go on a date with you - thank you but no, I don’t drink on dates and it would be strange to go out with someone I’d encountered through Mumsnet

You don't have to break up with someone after a single date. Telling soneone you don't want to see them again is hard and horrible and you just don't owe it to a stranger that you've met once. In the days of land lines you never would have called someone's house phone to tell them that you don't want to go on another date... Why have we intriduced this expectation? Not messaging you back for a few days is perfect communication, you know that they aren't that keen for it, they didn't have to tell you that, which noone actually wants to hear. Job done.

He’s invited me out again - texted this afternoon - I don’t know, though. I like men who text more often.

also the whole “landline phone days” thing - no, you wouldn’t phone someone to say you didn’t want a second date, but you can tell more from a voice than you can from a text so surely you’d have some intuition from his voice during his last call if he wasn’t into you? A hesitant tone? Maybe?

I’ve read some of the thread now, i feel like that’s enough for me.

Lols at ‘I’m a busy author’ , we’re all busy , is this to suggest authors are busier than everyone else?

‘Actually he replied earlier this afternoon and we’re seeing each other on Saturday so there. And he called me saggy, so we are even. Get a grip, ducky duck’
Reading your responses here makes me feel like you don’t mix with people very often @WildflowerGardens

Fellow author here. Wondering why you would do that when you said he is short bald and has terrible teeth?

I, too, have terrible teeth

If that’s the case then your powers of perception are not to be envied - I have a job which basically involves socialising and a good group of fun friends.

Can you not juat send a message without it being salty? 174 replies, not that busy apparently.

Freelancers can take time off when they want, my sweet summer child.

That doesn't negate from you not being busy

What a weird projection.
Seven pages of replies and counting. Clearly you're far too busy to travel 10 mins.

I mean its been a couple of days so many he was just busy and forgot?

But if he has ghosted you dont give him more attention..no message needed

This absolutely.

You mention being an author, is this thread you mining for material? It cannot be genuine.