Ghosted after a great first date. Best response?

[WildflowerGardens]

I had a first date with a man off hinge on Saturday afternoon - we had coffee and then walked round an illustration fair. The whole time we were laughing and talking animatedly and seemed to have a lot in common. At the end of the date he pulled me into a bear hug and said “see you again soon”.

I texted him that evening to say “Great to meet you, what a fun afternoon!” but he didn’t reply and it’s now Tuesday. I think I’ve been ghosted.

I feel like sending a final message, something like “Ghosting in your forties? I only date grown men: good luck with your ongoing search 👋 ” before blocking him but I’m not sure if I should do this.

My reasoning is that I think ghosting is crap behaviour and people who ghost should be called out on it.

Any advice very welcome.

Just coming on to say, speaking as a prize-winning author myself, 💅 OP sounds bonkers

DO NOT message and don’t block. If you do, he will likely get a kick and a confidence boost that you were hurt by his rejection.

He will likely come crawling back. I mute them and put them in my locked chat to forget about them. When they do message, I ignore them.

But isn't 'being bonkers' a necessary requirement of being an author of fiction?

Read SEE All.

You're too late .

To be honest anyone can fake a bear hug and say that, doesn’t mean he meant it.

id leave it too, you’ve lost nothing. He might have enjoyed the date but he knows it’s not going further.

This is a fast moving thread - it's all changed so read the updates.

Holy crap. You spent Saturday afternoon with him, then sent him an no-answer-required appreciative text the same evening. First thing Tuesday you start a MN thread about being ghosted. Two days and one night since last contact, not even three full days since the first and only time you've spent with him.

He's barely had time to get home, breathe, re-orient, and live his usual life! Much less decide if he does want to see you again, make a plan, and actually get in touch. In his shoes I'd be running for the hills.

I suppose in MN-land he should have texted obsessively, professed undying love, cut himself off from all his lifelong friends and hobbies, proposed, and locked himself in your marital cage by now. FFS. 🚩🚩🚩

You'd know.

LucyInTheSkyWithNoDiamonds you have now been commenting on my thread for the past two and a half hours. Are you alright?

He's replied and we're going out on Saturday sooooo... thanks for your opinion, dear

The usual tedious mental health slur - how very uninspiring.

Are you, Ducky?

But equally, how hard is it to say, 'Thanks for meeting up. It was a nice afternoon but I don't want to take things any further.' Then your date knows where they stand.

Exactly this. It takes 20 seconds to type and send that to someone and saves the other party a lot of wondering what's happened

That's good to know.

I guess there's a difference, though, between self-published novels and 'Ulysses'.

Then write one, hmm? Who's stopping you?

It's been less than 48 hours, surely you don't expect to be in constant contact and glued together with a complete stranger, after one date!

I don't check my phone constantly and sometimes when I do, I'm in the middle or something and can't respond immediatley. Then I get distracted and notice the message again the next day.

People who are constantly on their phone and relying on instant communication aren't very interesting. Maybe he has better things to do than assume a bare acquaintance needs constant reassurance.

He's texted and is taking me out on Saturday, but thanks for your valuable input!

Maybe he would like to date OP again but just doesnt' see it as super-duper-urgent for two adults who are barely acquainted to be in daily contact. If someone were texting me immediately after one meet-up I'd start to wonder what's lacking in their life.

How did the other date go? Or are you still on the train on the way there? Or did you abort when baldy-yucky-teeth asked you out again?

See?? All this childish impugning of his character was for naught.

Why are you so rude, snarky and defensive?

Oh Wildflower you are seriously wasted on this sorry lot. I totally followed what you were getting at in your OP. It’s just rude. No manners. You think - has he fallen down a hole etc it’s so annoying.
love the poem - is it a haiku? You rock x

Maybe your standards are much, much lower than mine, but I was brought up to send a basic, brief pleasantry to someone whose company I've enjoyed.

In your message you didn’t say you wanted to see him again, but he didn’t reply so he is obviously not interested. I def wouldn’t message again and just move on. Has he blocked you or ca you see if he is still active on the app, I don’t know how it works?

Why are you so antagonistic towards a beautiful and successful stranger?