Ghosted after a great first date. Best response?

[WildflowerGardens]

I had a first date with a man off hinge on Saturday afternoon - we had coffee and then walked round an illustration fair. The whole time we were laughing and talking animatedly and seemed to have a lot in common. At the end of the date he pulled me into a bear hug and said “see you again soon”.

I texted him that evening to say “Great to meet you, what a fun afternoon!” but he didn’t reply and it’s now Tuesday. I think I’ve been ghosted.

I feel like sending a final message, something like “Ghosting in your forties? I only date grown men: good luck with your ongoing search 👋 ” before blocking him but I’m not sure if I should do this.

My reasoning is that I think ghosting is crap behaviour and people who ghost should be called out on it.

Any advice very welcome.

Your more recent posts are so strange, I feel sorry for him.

Agreed. It’s such a shame to see an accomplished and intelligent established professional writer to fall into this trap.

He doesn't exist

There was definite inference. 😁

Bit like her books then

Unfortunately some men will act as if they have had the best time on a date because they want to be the good guy, but once you are out of sight, well, ghosting is acceptable to them! Just shows a lack of emotional maturity.

Tempting as it is to have the last word, forget it! Stop thinking about him as he won’t be thinking about you… you had a lucky escape… you are now free to meet the right man and live happily ever after x

So why on earth did you want any further communication? If you had liked him wouldn’t you have been pleased to go round Sainsbury’s together.

Why did you try to end the date?

Sorry just trying to catch up from a few hours away from thread.

In your OP you said, ‘Any advice very welcome.’ You seem to have forgotten.

I’m really amazed by this. It’s Tuesday. The date was Saturday. Am I the only person who thinks he might just be busy? Kindly, after one date, he doesn’t owe a response within hours or even a few days….. chill out and see what happens. I definitely wouldn’t be sending snotty messages after 3 days 🤷🏼‍♀️

They were really keen though and in real life I wouldn’t have gone out on a date with them in the first place. I just wasn’t cut out for old. 🫤

That is quite rare though. Op is right. Most authors earn peanuts. Actually not even enough to buy a packet of peanuts in many cases.

Ugh ghosting is the worst. It happens professionally as well. I don’t know if it’s a young person’s thing or what but it drives me up the wall. It’s the not knowing that sends you mad but I agree with everybody else: Silence says much more. Even if he said something horrible I wouldn’t say anything back; just let it hang in the air like a bad smell. Certainly don’t text him or let him know that you’re bothered by his behaviour. At least you found out now that he’s a bit of a dick.

(If he does get back to you later, I retract that last sentence.) 😊

One minute she's got lots of money from royalties, next minute she's skint 🙄

Nah, this is standard. Most successful authors are a bit odd!

Leave it!

Hang on, a minute ago you insinuated that you were hardly earning anything!!!

Dear reader, she has texted him. And this balding, average-looking man with poor teeth has come back asking for another date - taking her somewhere prestigious, evidently.

And she's now got all her ducks in a row.

I have been there so many times and I PROMISE you there is no point sending anything.

What WILL happen is when you ignore him he'll slide back into your DMs next time he's drunk/wants his ego stroked.

But what possibly can you gain from a snarky message? Compose it in your head a million time but don't send it.

The whole "ducky" thing sounds like a gay man to me, tbh.

Too late. It's done.

And he's come back asking for another date. So we're told.

Oh fucksake I've missed 25 pages of development haven't i.

But still. No good can come from having prompted him.

I agree.
She will forever be on the back foot.

But perhaps that's why her royalties are so good. She's getting them now instead of having to out-earn a big advance before getting more.

Possibly but you'll know that there can be a bidding war for publication and the very best (or rather most-wanted) tend to get a lot more up front. A lot of advances are around £2K-£3K but can be more if the contract includes several books contracted in advance.

Oh I think it’s a shame you didn’t go out on a second date as He apologised profusely. It might have turned into a great second date and you both ended up together forever and had this story of how you nearly didn't get together. I’ve heard similar stories in real life of long happy marriages that started off on the wrong foot. 😁