Ghosted after a great first date. Best response?

[WildflowerGardens]

I had a first date with a man off hinge on Saturday afternoon - we had coffee and then walked round an illustration fair. The whole time we were laughing and talking animatedly and seemed to have a lot in common. At the end of the date he pulled me into a bear hug and said “see you again soon”.

I texted him that evening to say “Great to meet you, what a fun afternoon!” but he didn’t reply and it’s now Tuesday. I think I’ve been ghosted.

I feel like sending a final message, something like “Ghosting in your forties? I only date grown men: good luck with your ongoing search 👋 ” before blocking him but I’m not sure if I should do this.

My reasoning is that I think ghosting is crap behaviour and people who ghost should be called out on it.

Any advice very welcome.

Not worth it! I have just been ghosted after 7 years! Some little boys never grow up

And if you discover he had a brain aneurysm and is unconscious in hospital?

Leave it I know its hard but best Leave it I'd rather him not know it bothered me at all

The hug you described comes across as an awkward, but very much platonic, way of saying goodbye. I think he just wasn't that interested. While it would have been nice for him to reply, it was only one date. Just forget about him. He isn't worth one iota more of your energy.

@WildflowerGardens well you've had your fun with the internet. Time to move on

I knew it would work. I think i should be maid of honour when you get married for my expert poem tip.

you sound like a bottle job OP

Sure he just texted 🤣🤣🤣

And there's me trying to set you up with @DeftWasp. You and your fickle ways and bonnet-wearing jauntiness, @WildflowerGardens. I can't keep up.

Perhaps he doesn't like smokers....

See OPs other dating thread

"I" would send a message with the dictionary definition of "soon" and a laughing emoji. But if you don't want to see him again, then ignore and block.

With this attitude no wonder he ghosted you. It sounds like you are not interested anyway, so just move on and stop giving this heads space. Put that energy into finding someone else who you do like and likes you

This approach is why society is becoming more and more uncomfortable and inconsiderate.

I agree. I do try, as I get older, not to be that person who whinges about society going downhill. But there does seem less of the everyday civility that just makes daily life more pleasant, sort of oiling the hinges.

I think it's because, outside their work and social circles, so many people's only communication with strangers is via social media and internet forums. Online, you're anonymous and not looking in someone's face, so there's little pressure to be courteous or rein in your opinions! Of course that spills over into real-life interactions.

AS is shit, can't find it. Can you link?

You're right, ghosting is immature and cowardly. But in your shoes I'd retain the upper hand by not letting on that it's bothered you.

I might give him a couple more days to respond but then block him because he will be back at some point, I’ve had several ghost then message several months to a year later … or try to rematch on the dating site pretending they don’t realise who I am !

He’s texted me back with plans for round 2, you big naughty

silence is your best response

I like you OP.

Maybe

We met on Hinge, a modern start,
Wandered about, laughed about art.
Then Sainsbury’s happened, you tailed my cart
First dibs on bargains? A less hopeful start
And then reassurance - your massive bear hug
So imagine my pause… my raised brow… my shrug
A grown man who Ghosts? No excuse (unless dead?)
Thank goodness I wasn’t drawn to your shining bald head

🍿

I only smoke at state dinners, duckie, and I’ve quit. Good job stalking me, though, want to be my biographer?

PS - he’s texted back now

And now I'm invested. Are you going?

Are you actually going to go on this second date after the multitude of insults you’ve said about him on this thread? Lol

It doesn’t matter what you think of him as you’re not seeing him again. Allow him to think you’re not that bothered too by leaving it and moving on.

I just want to say this thread is brilliant! Keep us updated op