Ghosted after a great first date. Best response?

[WildflowerGardens]

I had a first date with a man off hinge on Saturday afternoon - we had coffee and then walked round an illustration fair. The whole time we were laughing and talking animatedly and seemed to have a lot in common. At the end of the date he pulled me into a bear hug and said “see you again soon”.

I texted him that evening to say “Great to meet you, what a fun afternoon!” but he didn’t reply and it’s now Tuesday. I think I’ve been ghosted.

I feel like sending a final message, something like “Ghosting in your forties? I only date grown men: good luck with your ongoing search 👋 ” before blocking him but I’m not sure if I should do this.

My reasoning is that I think ghosting is crap behaviour and people who ghost should be called out on it.

Any advice very welcome.

I’ve really warmed to you OP.

You sound very passive, OP. Did you like him? Do you want to see him again? If so, why not send a text? Why wait on him to make the move but tie yourself up in knots trying to second guess his intentions? How he behaves shouldn’t dictate how you feel. Send him a message suggesting a second date or move on and put your energy into something or someone else.

I wouldnt be impressed with the delay in his reply and wouldnt be going on a second date

Ok op enjoy. Next time - avoid posting on Mumsnet just enjoy the dates.

The baldy with bad teeth? Very exciting!

And zero conversation skills.

What a catch!!!

But yet here you are, arguing with strangers on the internet because you want to text a balding middle aged dentist dodger that doesn’t want to see you again.

Send nothing!
There’s a 99% chance it will do nothing except make you look more needy.
1% chance something genuine came up. Accident or death or something. And then you’ll feel silly.

After that poem?

He's a masochist sub. Now it all depends on whether you like that sort of thing. Fodder for the next book, maybe? We need a new Jilly Cooper.

To avoid the presumption of a kiss. He was showing you it’s an affectionate hug type level of nice time and backing away.

The best response is no response

Crikey, we've got a live one here.

Oh but you've set him up with half of mumsnet!

Then why do you care?

I think the "author" is having us on.

My son is (trying) to do on-line-dating. This ghosting thing is very common. It's like, easy come, easy go.

All his connects are very long distance, as we live in the middle of nowhere USA. Recently, he connected with a woman 2,000 miles away, and they really hitting it off over the phone. He was elated. There were so many things they agreed to on, big things and little things. She said she had nothing keeping her where she currently lived. She was a widow. Her dream was to live in the middle of nowhere on a farm/ranch as she had farming relatives living in a similar place and she and her child loved to stay there. She told him she never thought she'd meet such a decent man. She asked him to come and visit her, so he was making agreements to fly there. And she ghosted him, and never told him why. She just stopped texting a few days after they agreed to meet.

He told me all about it because he's a single dad and I was going to looking after his toddler during his trip. I asked him how he felt about her doing this and he told me it happens all the time and he was finding his attitude towards on-line-dating women changing because of it.

Having dated in my late 40s, I found that sometimes you'd meet someone who you go on with, but couldn't imagine sleeping with, or perhaps would sleep with, but not imagine a relationship with. Often it's easy (or may seem easier) to simply ghost than spell it out in such terms.

Definitely a 💨🆙

Clearly he had no idea how important and busy you were.

Not sure if you are projecting as you are hurt by not hearing from him.

I don't care, it's fun. If it is trolling, this is how it should be done. Take heed, all you boring, unfunny, lazy, herp-derp-lol trolls. There's an art to this and people started losing it around 2010.

So you took out less time than he did...

He's a very ordinary middle aged man who I wouldn't look twice at in a queue in Tesco, to be quite honest,

Perhaps this came across to him and thought there was no future..

Totally agree that ghosting is totally uncalled for, I'd never dream of doing it,but I'm a decent human being. And as you said,doing it in your forties is just childish,you'd hope people would take feelings into account. Do they expect a shitty response if they're honest,which is just presumptuous, again if just say no problem and move on. Dating is hard enough without this. I wish you better luck on your search for whatever it is you're looking for WildflowerGardens 😄

I wouldn't bother. He ghosts you, he's not worth any extra time or thought, block and move on.

Can the score of women I advised to date him kindly NOT do so now

Which you wont be going on as he's a (CBA to list all the faults)